Best Ways to Deal With Self-Doubt

Self-doubt is an issue that a lot of us face. We don’t always need external factors to generate stress for us, we often do it ourselves. I have talked about how we give rise to self-doubt by comparing our journey to other people’s among other reasons. Today, I have Ellen Tran from ZyraKuma to tell you guys about the best ways to deal with self-doubt. Here’s what she has to say- 

Have you ever felt like you’re just not good enough? Or you just want to run away from “fear of failure”? It’s ok! People deal with self-doubt plenty of times because it’s just a human thing we suffer from day to day.

The term “self-doubt” revolves around the mental state of feeling uncertainty or distrust within oneself (a.k.a. you). In easier terms, the feeling of rejection (“fear of failure”). A lack of low self-esteem delaying a certain action because you think you are “not good enough” for that certain thing based on lack of evidence.

Here’s an example of self-doubt: pretend you have a job in any creative industry. You’re about to do a presentation in like 15 minutes, and you’re all prepared. But at the last minute, your anxious mind is telling you all these negative thoughts like “I can’t do this!” “What if I end up embarrassing myself?” “What if no one likes my work?”. You’re there standing in a daze where you’re doubting your success and wanting to escape.

If you’re in a similar situation, don’t feel discouraged! Here are ways to deal with self-doubt.

1. Talk to a Close Family Member or Friend

It’s always good to talk to someone you trust who can be empathetic and non-judgemental (I’m probably talking about a therapist), but you can always talk to a trusted friend or a family member. 

Back then, I was at my lowest of lows after being rejected from job applications after job applications. I talked to one of my closest friends, and they helped cheer me up after that whole incident. So if you know your “go-to” person, just straight up throw words at their faces and tell them your thoughts and feelings even if it ends up with you throwing a fit or being overly emotional.

2. Write in a Journal

If you’re the type who is afraid of expressing their self-doubt to someone else, then you can always try journaling because no journal will ever judge you.

I can feel that way sometimes too. Some days, I don’t feel like talking to someone about my rejections, so I go to my diary instead. You can always write about anything that comes to your mind and what’s giving you self-doubt. Journaling helps you release a few emotions and gives you a clearer mind to the barrier that’s stopping you.

A suggestion that journaling can help you overcome your self-doubt is to figure out your problem-focused (how you can attempt to change the situation) or emotion-focused (how you can attempt to change the thoughts or emotional consequences of the doubt) triggers. This can work out if you’re in a stressful situation too.

And note, you DON’T have to go out of your way to buy yourself a journal. You can always use your phone’s note app to do that. But writing by hand is preferable, it helps you feel more connected.

3. Motivational Thinking

It could be a motivational video on YouTube or a podcast. There are also motivational quotes that you can write in your journal or stick a sticky note where you often see it (like a mirror or bathroom door, for example).

Give yourself motivation. Tell yourself “I can do this” or “I know I can do this”. The more positive reinforcement you give yourself the more your mind will do what you’re telling it to do.

I do this a few times before a group presentation or before a test. I tell myself “Just get this over and done with!” or “Do it for the credits. Just do it for the credits!”. Sometimes it works, and other times it doesn’t, but it doesn’t matter once you get it over and done with, right?

4. You Have Other Chances

One true realization I had recently was after my first test for my unit. I’m not afraid to share my score here so I’ll just say it. I got a 19/30. Was I disappointed? Yes. If I had scored another point, I would have been happy. 

Then my professor said to everyone in the class “If you guys scored a 23/30, you would have graduated as a psychologist” or something like that. That made me self-doubt about graduating a bachelor’s degree in Psychology. The whole day, I thought to myself that I’m going to be another failed drop-out with no degree and fall into a lot of debt.

But the thing is, that test only results in 10% of my credits. Why worry about something that little when you can always find another way?

People say “Learn from your mistakes,” and that’s what I’m telling you. People make mistakes for a reason, and that reason is to learn and use it to climb to success. Did JK Rowling give up when she couldn’t find a publisher to publish her “Harry Potter” novel? No, she didn’t! Now it’s one of the most popular novels worldwide and has made Rowling a billionaire.

If it’s a dream that you want to accomplish, you should never give up unless you know that you feel that it’s impossible to achieve it. Balance the optimistic and pessimistic thoughts. This is also a reminder for you to practice better for the next time (a.k.a. don’t be like me and fall asleep at 4 am before a test day).

5. Change Your Mindset 

Has this happened in the past? If so, look at the patterns and look at what it’s doing to you. You shouldn’t fall back into this self-doubt trap again, and adopting a positive mindset helps with that.

These traps are known as “faulty thoughts”. These include:

• overgeneralization (categorizing those as a never-ending negative cycle), 
• overlooking the positives (bias towards the negatives than the positives), 
• definite statements (believing in great expectations), 
• blaming other factors (targeting other reasons for your failure),
• categorization/labeling (another way of looking at things in black-and-white), 
• emotional reasoning (using your feelings as facts and basing it on your decisions or actions), 
• exaggeration (overlooking the “other side” or someone/something and extending more of the good qualities), 
• predicting the future (predicting the negative event or situation), 
• mind-reading (thinking something negative based on their reaction or attitude) and
• mentally filtering occasions (overlooking the positive and focusing more on the negative details). 

You can read more about these in detail here.

Ph.D., Karyl McBride states “You don’t need to brag, but give yourself credit where credit is due,” and I couldn’t agree on enough. She also exclaims about narcissism and being stuck in the “imposter syndrome.”

This is where you feel like you can’t accept accomplishment, knowing that you might feel like a complete “fraud”. If you do feel like you have imposter syndrome, tell yourself “If it’s something to be seen as worthy of a celebration, then celebrate it! Only I can give myself credit”. 

These are some of the best ways you can overcome self-doubt about yourself.

Author: Ellen Tran @ZyraKuma
Site: https://www.zyrakuma.com
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