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Best Ways to Deal With Self-Doubt

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Best Ways to Deal With Self-Doubt

Self-doubt is an issue that a lot of us face. We don’t always need external factors to generate stress for us, we often do it ourselves. I have talked about how we give rise to self-doubt by comparing our journey to other people’s among other reasons. Today, I have Ellen Tran from ZyraKuma to tell you guys about the best ways to deal with self-doubt. Here’s what she has to say- 

Have you ever felt like you’re just not good enough? Or you just want to run away from “fear of failure”? It’s ok! People deal with self-doubt plenty of times because it’s just a human thing we suffer from day to day.

The term “self-doubt” revolves around the mental state of feeling uncertainty or distrust within oneself (a.k.a. you). In easier terms, the feeling of rejection (“fear of failure”). A lack of low self-esteem delaying a certain action because you think you are “not good enough” for that certain thing based on lack of evidence.

Here’s an example of self-doubt: pretend you have a job in any creative industry. You’re about to do a presentation in like 15 minutes, and you’re all prepared. But at the last minute, your anxious mind is telling you all these negative thoughts like “I can’t do this!” “What if I end up embarrassing myself?” “What if no one likes my work?”. You’re there standing in a daze where you’re doubting your success and wanting to escape.

If you’re in a similar situation, don’t feel discouraged! Here are ways to deal with self-doubt.

1. Talk to a Close Family Member or Friend

Best Ways to Deal With Self-Doubt

It’s always good to talk to someone you trust who can be empathetic and non-judgemental (I’m probably talking about a therapist), but you can always talk to a trusted friend or a family member. 

Back then, I was at my lowest of lows after being rejected from job applications after job applications. I talked to one of my closest friends, and they helped cheer me up after that whole incident. So if you know your “go-to” person, just straight up throw words at their faces and tell them your thoughts and feelings even if it ends up with you throwing a fit or being overly emotional.

2. Write in a Journal

Best Ways to Deal With Self-Doubt

If you’re the type who is afraid of expressing their self-doubt to someone else, then you can always try journaling because no journal will ever judge you.

I can feel that way sometimes too. Some days, I don’t feel like talking to someone about my rejections, so I go to my diary instead. You can always write about anything that comes to your mind and what’s giving you self-doubt. Journaling helps you release a few emotions and gives you a clearer mind to the barrier that’s stopping you.

A suggestion that journaling can help you overcome your self-doubt is to figure out your problem-focused (how you can attempt to change the situation) or emotion-focused (how you can attempt to change the thoughts or emotional consequences of the doubt) triggers. This can work out if you’re in a stressful situation too.

And note, you DON’T have to go out of your way to buy yourself a journal. You can always use your phone’s note app to do that. But writing by hand is preferable, it helps you feel more connected.

3. Motivational Thinking

Best Ways to Deal With Self-Doubt

It could be a motivational video on YouTube or a podcast. There are also motivational quotes that you can write in your journal or stick a sticky note where you often see it (like a mirror or bathroom door, for example).

Give yourself motivation. Tell yourself “I can do this” or “I know I can do this”. The more positive reinforcement you give yourself the more your mind will do what you’re telling it to do.

I do this a few times before a group presentation or before a test. I tell myself “Just get this over and done with!” or “Do it for the credits. Just do it for the credits!”. Sometimes it works, and other times it doesn’t, but it doesn’t matter once you get it over and done with, right?

4. You Have Other Chances

Best Ways to Deal With Self-Doubt

One true realization I had recently was after my first test for my unit. I’m not afraid to share my score here so I’ll just say it. I got a 19/30. Was I disappointed? Yes. If I had scored another point, I would have been happy. 

Then my professor said to everyone in the class “If you guys scored a 23/30, you would have graduated as a psychologist” or something like that. That made me self-doubt about graduating a bachelor’s degree in Psychology. The whole day, I thought to myself that I’m going to be another failed drop-out with no degree and fall into a lot of debt.

But the thing is, that test only results in 10% of my credits. Why worry about something that little when you can always find another way?

People say “Learn from your mistakes,” and that’s what I’m telling you. People make mistakes for a reason, and that reason is to learn and use it to climb to success. Did JK Rowling give up when she couldn’t find a publisher to publish her “Harry Potter” novel? No, she didn’t! Now it’s one of the most popular novels worldwide and has made Rowling a billionaire.

If it’s a dream that you want to accomplish, you should never give up unless you know that you feel that it’s impossible to achieve it. Balance the optimistic and pessimistic thoughts. This is also a reminder for you to practice better for the next time (a.k.a. don’t be like me and fall asleep at 4 am before a test day).

5. Change Your Mindset 

Has this happened in the past? If so, look at the patterns and look at what it’s doing to you. You shouldn’t fall back into this self-doubt trap again, and adopting a positive mindset helps with that.

These traps are known as “faulty thoughts”. These include:

  • overgeneralization (categorizing those as a never-ending negative cycle), 
  • overlooking the positives (bias towards the negatives than the positives), 
  • definite statements (believing in great expectations), 
  • blaming other factors (targeting other reasons for your failure),
  • categorization/labeling (another way of looking at things in black-and-white), 
  • emotional reasoning (using your feelings as facts and basing it on your decisions or actions), 
  • exaggeration (overlooking the “other side” or someone/something and extending more of the good qualities), 
  • predicting the future (predicting the negative event or situation), 
  • mind-reading (thinking something negative based on their reaction or attitude) and
  • mentally filtering occasions (overlooking the positive and focusing more on the negative details). 

You can read more about these in detail here.

Ph.D., Karyl McBride states “You don’t need to brag, but give yourself credit where credit is due,” and I couldn’t agree on enough. She also exclaims about narcissism and being stuck in the “imposter syndrome.”

This is where you feel like you can’t accept accomplishment, knowing that you might feel like a complete “fraud”. If you do feel like you have imposter syndrome, tell yourself “If it’s something to be seen as worthy of a celebration, then celebrate it! Only I can give myself credit”. 

These are some of the best ways you can overcome self-doubt about yourself.

Author: Ellen Tran @ZyraKuma
Site: https://www.zyrakuma.com
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Productivity

Ways to set up a Home Office

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Day 1: ‘I am feeling lethargic today, maybe I’ll take rest for a while and resume after a few hours’

Day 2: ‘Don’t feel like working today’

Day 3:  ‘Work from home is not productive at all! It was better when we could function in office’

Have you been experiencing this for the last few months? 

Work from home can get boring and unproductive real quick and with changing times, this could be something companies resort to permanently.

So what’s the solution to not lose your work drive and keep working to your contentment?

Why not change your home workspace into a professional setting that gives you somewhat similar vibes as your in-office environment!

Wondering how?

Well, read on! 

To transform a small part of your house can be tedious but if the thought of strategically, can complement it well enough.

First things first – visualize how office spaces are built, most importantly the area where you used to sit in for hours and hours.

Got an idea? Now all you have to do is structure that into a smaller carpet area.

Decide on a location thereafter – where in the house do you want to set up your office. Make sure to be very particular when considering this because this has a major role in determining work focus and concentration. A corner, an entire room or just dividing the room into workspace and home is all to you and your comfort.

Usually, it is recommended to be in a remote area (like away from the kitchen) so to block any unnecessary noise.

Another thing to be cautious about is the amount of light that your chosen location has. With no proper lighting, the strain will increase and you might find it difficult to keep going.

What do companies do after building the space? 

They settle on what furniture and equipment will be required to commence the activity.

Similarly, select your desk and chair wisely. You will want to need a chair that isn’t too hard nor is it too soft.

Too hard could make your back hurt and too soft can cause you to sit in a wrong position that’ll ultimately result in a backache. Ideally, a rolling chair is recommended because it’ll give you movement and comfort at the same time.

Coming to the size of your desk, it depends on if you want a longer one or a short desk would suffice. However, make sure that the workplace doesn’t look and feel too clustered because then your efficiency is what can be affected. Along with the size of the desk, it’s shaping also is equally significant. L-shaped, T-shaped or U-shaped or any other shape, that will look chic and be the perfect match to your location – judge appropriately.

While you are at it, keep in mind to place your desk in front of some view that will soothe your eyes. A pleasant scenery to look at acts as a relaxing tool for the mind and the eyes, giving you the refreshment you need during the job hours.

Have you noticed how your in-office cabin looked hassle-free and clean? That’s what exactly you want in your home office too, trust me. Wires tangled and plug loosely attached will definitely distract you and come in the way of smooth operation. So to avoid this, make sure you’ve proper connection and sockets for keeping your wires and plugs out of the way.

Moving continuously to fetch files and other important things can turn out to be time-wasting. To not lose out on productivity, you could have cabinets and drawers made around your desk or within the same area as is your workspace.

The office is not about just desk-work. There are visits and meetings and conferences too. Therefore, having an area dedicated to client meetings is necessary. Though if you feel that this is something that can be done without, it’s entirely your call.

Sitting in one place for about 8-9 hours every day can be monotonous. What can be worse is when the same to you sit in is bland and plain – just like a hospital ward. I am sure you don’t like that and certainly wouldn’t want your workplace to emulate the same!

Hence, decorate and paint!

Make your room look green to calm you or fill it with colors to keep you fresh, bright, and awake the entire day. If you didn’t know, colors very much influence your emotions.

Like I had mentioned before, changing interiors can be tedious but if strategically done, it can complement your home well enough. Considering that, you could design and decorate your home office according to your house and it’s color combinations. This will not only not erupt your interior but also make you feel safe and congenial making it easier for you to work.

In the end, whatever you read or see, go by what you feel is right and appropriate for your house and your surroundings. Do not place anything that isn’t required or is unnecessary and just keeps adding up your budget.

In an attempt to make your home office beautiful and classy, remember to not walk off the money line. Setting a workplace at home can be expensive but if done well within the monetary limit, you are sure to get elegant and reasonable decor.

What?

Are you still reading? 

Go!  It’s time you start planning because you never know when offices might open up and you may be required to step out of your lazy workdays.

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Habits

How Reading can impact your Day to Day Life?

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Reading is a healthy habit, which, if practiced daily, can change your entire life around. Do you want to know why? Through Reading, one can not only gain knowledge but also stay acquainted with the outside as well as the inside world. The best thing about reading daily is to have an isolated place for yourself in your mind, where you can run off to. Most people don’t have the patience or intention to read, and that too, daily. Though this is a habit that takes time to settle in but trust me, once it does, you would never regret it. So, here is a list of reasons why you should read daily?

Why should you read daily?

  • To gain knowledge

Once you start reading daily, and by Reading, it can be anything – you can read few pages of a novel, or a magazine, or newspaper, or even poetry – you would notice within weeks how much your knowledge regarding the outer world has improved. Through Reading, one can have clear information regarding the current affairs, and hence, stay updated.

  • To improve your vocabulary

Through Reading, you can definitely learn new words and hence, improve your vocabulary. Most people make it a habit to learn a new word from the dictionary every day, but if you read daily, you are bound to get new words and make a list of them on a notebook with their meanings, which is definitely going to be helpful for you.

  • To have a make-believe world

The most beautiful consequence of Reading is having one’s own imaginary world, where one can live a life full of magic. This is the extraordinary superpower one acquires while reading. In this busy daily life of ours, we all look for a secluded place where we can feel the essence of peace. Reading can fly you off to the imaginary land of sunflowers, daisies, and cats who can indeed talk.

  • To become more attentive

Most people lack patience nowadays. Being impatient and restless has become a severe problem in today’s world. Here, Reading can help you calm your mind and improve your observation skills. It works like meditation. In no time, you would find your mind focusing on details and becoming more attentive to events, which used to go unnoticed.

  • To reduce stress

Reading is similar to meditation, and hence, it definitely helps to reduce your stress. Books always have a calming effect on one’s mind. It takes you away from daily problems and stressful situations and helps your mind to gain stability. Not only it helps in reducing stress, but it also helps to decrease the anxiety levels of a person. 

Everyone should make reading a daily habit. One should switch off the mobile phones, turn off the television and take some time out to read. It works wonders on one’s day-to-day life and changes one person’s entire personality. Though it can be hard at first, with time, you would cherish the moments alone, reading in a corner while your mind is flying off to Narnia.

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Productivity

The Pressure of this Epidemic: Should we take it Slow or Get your Productivity Game on

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The race has begun, the race of life doesn’t stop even during quarantine or lockdown. It still continues when an epidemic is on the loose. Students all across were expected to continue working, office resumed productivity, and homemakers had it worse as their routine doubled. 

Opening social media, flooded with images, videos and posts of people baking, drawing, learning a new instrumentlearning new wilderness survival skills and working out, seems to be filled with energy. You look and you browse and you want to be filled with those emotions as those celebrities, friends, or influencers who seem to have figured a way to keep pushing through this pandemic. You imagine and daydream about a banana bread recipe you should try or that hype around the Dalgona coffee. You feel a sense of distance and anxiety, a fear of missing out. So you try, you try to push yourself, install tik-tok, and practice a common dance routine, decide to post it to establish that you are doing something too, you aren’t just lying around. There is this common unquestioned idea that when you are free and have time on your hand you should continue working, never waste time by just sitting down, or watching a show relaxing. This notion has been instilled and we as individuals are conditioned to feel that if you aren’t doing anything in your free time you are wasting time, not getting ahead in the horse race of this world. But, in lockdown and the current situation is tiring to comprehend. A state of panic and anxiety of the future, the fear of the virus and the death tools, fear of the contention of the world around. In all this, you feel obligated to be motivated and productive. To show that you have some value attributed to yourself even during a lockdown. 

Productivity is often measured by documenting and showcases it to other people. In this day and age where social media has taken over our lives, where everyone posts their lives online to show what they are up to. It helps take your mind off things, keeps you engaged. Not everyone needs to cope with the pandemic the same way, the hustle has been romanticized by capitalist society. Where one has to keep on their toes. So many of us have received links, or advertisements to push us into starting something new. Not many people talk about how it is okay to just not do anything and take it slow. Not realizing that the conventional definition of being busy doesn’t necessarily have to be productive in nature. Our time has become monetized, every passing minute one has to do something, 

When one is taking it slow and not pushing themselves into burning out they too are being productive. This can be said because they are introspective and reflecting upon themselves. Working towards rebuilding by taking it slow, relaxing as the times are tough. Lockdowns make one feel trapped as you have no social contact. One starts to feel the need for validation and added value to themselves. This is obtained by documenting and showing their productivity on social media. The competition to show how busy you are and how you have coped with this pandemic, but in reality, many are struggling. There has been an increase in problems like insomnia, backaches, headaches, feeling nauseated, and eventually leading to burnout. With the increasing fear and uncertainty about our future, there needs to be a period to pause and retrospect. It is completely acceptable to take your time off, as that too is a form of productivity for yourself. The idea that physical work attributes to your productivity levels is a notion that makes one forget about themselves. Taking care of yourself and taking the time off thinking and just take it one day at a time. The pandemic has led to work from home bases for both students and working individuals. Hence with the effect of the pandemic and the working situation, this pressure to be productive is an added factor for them to feel demotivated and isolated further. Apart from that parents and homemakers, have been burning out and need a means to just relax and have time off for themselves away from societal pressure. 

Final Thoughts 

Social media is a great tool to feel connected to this pandemic, but with this, it also brings in the pressure of being at the same level as everyone. One starts to feel “if they can do it so can I”. The energy and exertion both mentally and physically are draining, the constant juggle, and trying to draw a line with your various social groups sitting from home. The pandemic adds extra responsibility, in terms of taking care of your family, friends neighbors thinking about your work, and how to run your home. That is why with these added pressures you can decide for yourself what works best for you, being productive by following daily trends help you relax and cope with the situation then that is great. On the contrary, if you feel drained and are feeling extinguished from the pressure, then it is best to take it slow, relax as thinking, and working on yourself is a form of work too.

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