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Self Improvement

Why NOT Communicating is Holding You Back

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Why NOT Communicating is Holding You Back

Communication holds the key to solutions to a lot of problems. In hindsight, it seems like such a simple thing to have done, but before and during putting yourself out there, it doesn’t seem that simple. There are many reasons to not want to communicate.

When you think about it, communication is one of the first skills we learn. We have been talking and conveying our thoughts for our whole lives, yet, it becomes harder to effectively communicate as we grow up.

“Communication – the human connection – is the key to personal and career success.”

-Paul J. Meyer

Between what is said and not meant, and what is meant and not said – important things are often lost and actual thoughts forgotten. The fear – of miscommunication, of saying something other than what you want to, of offending someone, of uncountable things – stops people from even trying to put their ideas across. Lack of communication can cause a lot of problems not only in your personal life but your professional life as well.

Why NOT Communicating is Holding You Back

Have you ever wanted to go and tell someone that you really like her/him, but not done so because you were too afraid of rejection and the humiliation afterward? Have you ever wanted to let your parents know that engineering is not what you wanted to do in life, but poetry and writing? Have you ever wished you told your mother how much she meant to you? All of these are common areas of communication gaps in people’s personal lives.

“You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can’t get them across, your ideas won’t get you anywhere.”

-Lee Iacocca

Have you ever wanted to tell your boss or a superior where he/she was going wrong? Have you ever wanted to pitch in a new idea to your teammates but could never gather courage? Have you ever wanted to say ‘no’ to the colleague who keeps on dumping extra work on you, but didn’t to avoid a confrontation? All of these are common struggles in people’s professional lives, where communication is the answer.

Why NOT Communicating is Holding You Back

Sometimes we simply keep quiet to avoid awkward complicated conversations aka confrontations. But silence is regarded as approval and people take it as affirmation if you don’t spell out the negative. You may think staying silent would keep you away from conflicts – many people tend to avoid conflicts and confrontations – but silence is a way of agreeing to the situation even if you disapprove of it otherwise. 

The worst-case scenario, if you say what you want to say, maybe, someone not agreeing with you, but at least you were honest about your opinions and the other person is aware that you have an issue. Often times, we create long term problems by avoiding short term awkwardness. We treat it as flight or fight and often fail to choose fight. It is essential to put ourselves out there if we want to be heard.

“Communicate unto the other person that which you would want him to communicate unto you if your positions were reversed.”

-Aaron Goldman

You can’t always wait for people to read your mind and try to guess your feelings – trust me, no one is a mind reader and in professional space, nobody has the time – you need to speak up. If you don’t gather the courage and confidence to speak, there are high chances of you missing important opportunities and ending up on the wrong path. Many people are stuck in their situation because they can’t gather the courage to speak their minds – it can be a toxic relationship or a toxic job.

Why NOT Communicating is Holding You Back

At the same time, being outspoken doesn’t mean your words need to tear down someone’s heart – be kind with your words. You need to be understanding and empathetic, especially if it is a sensitive topic. Use your words to connect with the person you are talking to. If you are telling someone their mistakes, make sure you also mention their positive traits – this is a great way to say something difficult without both the parties feeling bad about it. 

“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.”

-Tony Robbins

As much as clarity and confidence are required when putting across your views, you should also remain calm. Mind you, calm, not quiet. Instead of getting aggressive when someone is yelling at you, you should stay composed and explain yourself calmly – everyone yelling is not going to get anyone anywhere.  There’s real power in being the voice of reason in tough situations.

Sometimes, we feel that we should wait for the right time before we say something to someone – especially in personal life – what we forget is that there is never the right time. This is just us making excuses to get out of a pickle. You never know what happens next – waiting for the right time might make you too late to the party. You never think or know that the last time is the last time. You think there will be more opportunities to convey your message. You think you have forever, but you don’t. 

All of these thoughts are just excuses that we keep giving ourselves because we fear our feelings won’t be accepted properly, we fear rejection. Fear breaks relationships, and wastes opportunities. Substitute that fear with courage. That is how you grow. 

Why NOT Communicating is Holding You Back

Say what you want to say, not what people want to hear. Speak your mind out.  This will help you in the long run, because then you won’t be stuck doing what you don’t want to, and your mind won’t be filled with what-ifs.

While communicating is necessary, communicating correctly is as important. There are many things that we get wrong because of being nervous while speaking. Come back tomorrow to learn about common communication mistakes that we make and why. 

“Precision of communication is important, more important than ever, in our era of hair-trigger balances, when a false or misunderstood word may create as much disaster as a sudden thoughtless act.”

-James Thurber

Self Improvement

Why Talking To Yourself Is The Fastest Way To Build Self-confidence

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The idea of talking to yourself in a mirror might seem downright silly. And chances are, if you struggle with self-confidence, you want to be spending as little time in front of the mirror as possible. But if you can get past the initial awkwardness, you can benefit from the fastest results from spending time with yourself and actively engaging in conversation.

The wrong way of building self-confidence

When a person is under-confident, it generally means that they crave validation, appreciation, or some kind of proof that they’re worthy of love and recognition. We can all think of at least one person in our life who can be called ‘attention-seeking.’ But in reality, a vast majority of people are underconfident, even if it isn’t blatantly visible. 

Trying to seek approval from other people can manifest in indirect forms. You might find yourself working extra hours to get approval from your boss or going out of your way to do favors for people who wouldn’t do the same for you! We can really make ourselves suffer all for the quest of a few words of praise. 

The sad part is — the praise never really feels that great! Like an ice cream that got over way too quickly, praise and approval taste sweet for a few moments; before we fall right back into feeling lousy about ourselves. 

There has to be something that makes us feel better, for longer.

Why we listen to ourselves the most

Most of the time, the main reason why people are underconfident in the first place is that they have spent years thinking about self-derogatory and unkind thoughts about themselves. 

When you think that you’re not good enough for so many years, the conscious brain forms a habit out of these thoughts and keeps re-visiting them with every new situation. That’s why it’s so tricky to build self-confidence. There are numerous incidents of overweight people who had low self-esteem but found that losing weight didn’t improve their mental health. They still had low self-esteem, probably even more than they did earlier. 

The only way to get out of the rut of negative self-thoughts is to change your neural pathways. The only way you forget a previous habit is by forming a new one.

Continually talking to yourself in the mirror and saying good, positive things about yourself really works. And you might find it easier to say “I love you” in the mirror than saying “I love myself,” and that’s because we have a habit of being nicer to other people, not ourselves. Try to talk in the first person. “I am so smart.” “I am worthy of all the good things in life.”

“Every thought is either an investment or a cost.” T. Harv Eker

The Process

It will seem silly for the first few days. You will forget to do it sometimes, or even when you remember, you might get irritated with the entire process. It’s very hard to stay motivated. But try to stick with it! Give it 21 days of talking to yourself in the mirror every morning before you brush your teeth.

 (I found it easier to do it when I brush my teeth in the morning and night because that’s something I never forget to do.)

Focus on starting with complimenting yourself, listing out the things you admire in yourself.
“I like that I have a good work ethic.” or “I’m a good person, and I always value the truth”. After that, you can spend a few moments chatting with yourself. Talk about how much you like the weather today or anything else positive that you can think of. 

The key is to look right into your own eyes in the mirror. Try not to get distracted by that pimple that’s popped up on your chin or being critical of something else. You wouldn’t stare at your best friend’s pimple while they’re talking to you, would you? Treat your reflection with respect and talk to it directly without being mean.

The Results

After some time, you will notice results. They will be almost imperceptible initially, but you’ll end up looking forward to the time you spend looking into your own eyes. 

It takes a bit of time to rework the way your brain thinks, but this is the only direct way to get your mind to start giving you the approval you need. 

Once you spend time with yourself in the mirror, it creates distance. You’ll be less mean to yourself because you don’t want to hurt the person in the mirror. You’ll have started a long journey of self-love, one we must all undertake. 

There is so much more to human potential than we give ourselves credit for. The mind is powerful, and if you’re planning to do something for self-improvement — you’re already on the right path. 

Remember to stick with the process, and don’t expect instant results. In a month, your self-confidence will have improved because you’re finally getting the approval you always wanted: approval from yourself!

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Productivity

Ways to set up a Home Office

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home business

Day 1: ‘I am feeling lethargic today, maybe I’ll take rest for a while and resume after a few hours’

Day 2: ‘Don’t feel like working today’

Day 3:  ‘Work from home is not productive at all! It was better when we could function in office’

Have you been experiencing this for the last few months? 

Work from home can get boring and unproductive real quick and with changing times, this could be something companies resort to permanently.

So what’s the solution to not lose your work drive and keep working to your contentment?

Why not change your home workspace into a professional setting that gives you somewhat similar vibes as your in-office environment!

Wondering how?

Well, read on! 

To transform a small part of your house can be tedious but if the thought of strategically, can complement it well enough.

First things first – visualize how office spaces are built, most importantly the area where you used to sit in for hours and hours.

Got an idea? Now all you have to do is structure that into a smaller carpet area.

Decide on a location thereafter – where in the house do you want to set up your office. Make sure to be very particular when considering this because this has a major role in determining work focus and concentration. A corner, an entire room or just dividing the room into workspace and home is all to you and your comfort.

Usually, it is recommended to be in a remote area (like away from the kitchen) so to block any unnecessary noise.

Another thing to be cautious about is the amount of light that your chosen location has. With no proper lighting, the strain will increase and you might find it difficult to keep going.

What do companies do after building the space? 

They settle on what furniture and equipment will be required to commence the activity.

Similarly, select your desk and chair wisely. You will want to need a chair that isn’t too hard nor is it too soft.

Too hard could make your back hurt and too soft can cause you to sit in a wrong position that’ll ultimately result in a backache. Ideally, a rolling chair is recommended because it’ll give you movement and comfort at the same time.

Coming to the size of your desk, it depends on if you want a longer one or a short desk would suffice. However, make sure that the workplace doesn’t look and feel too clustered because then your efficiency is what can be affected. Along with the size of the desk, it’s shaping also is equally significant. L-shaped, T-shaped or U-shaped or any other shape, that will look chic and be the perfect match to your location – judge appropriately.

While you are at it, keep in mind to place your desk in front of some view that will soothe your eyes. A pleasant scenery to look at acts as a relaxing tool for the mind and the eyes, giving you the refreshment you need during the job hours.

Have you noticed how your in-office cabin looked hassle-free and clean? That’s what exactly you want in your home office too, trust me. Wires tangled and plug loosely attached will definitely distract you and come in the way of smooth operation. So to avoid this, make sure you’ve proper connection and sockets for keeping your wires and plugs out of the way.

Moving continuously to fetch files and other important things can turn out to be time-wasting. To not lose out on productivity, you could have cabinets and drawers made around your desk or within the same area as is your workspace.

The office is not about just desk-work. There are visits and meetings and conferences too. Therefore, having an area dedicated to client meetings is necessary. Though if you feel that this is something that can be done without, it’s entirely your call.

Sitting in one place for about 8-9 hours every day can be monotonous. What can be worse is when the same to you sit in is bland and plain – just like a hospital ward. I am sure you don’t like that and certainly wouldn’t want your workplace to emulate the same!

Hence, decorate and paint!

Make your room look green to calm you or fill it with colors to keep you fresh, bright, and awake the entire day. If you didn’t know, colors very much influence your emotions.

Like I had mentioned before, changing interiors can be tedious but if strategically done, it can complement your home well enough. Considering that, you could design and decorate your home office according to your house and it’s color combinations. This will not only not erupt your interior but also make you feel safe and congenial making it easier for you to work.

In the end, whatever you read or see, go by what you feel is right and appropriate for your house and your surroundings. Do not place anything that isn’t required or is unnecessary and just keeps adding up your budget.

In an attempt to make your home office beautiful and classy, remember to not walk off the money line. Setting a workplace at home can be expensive but if done well within the monetary limit, you are sure to get elegant and reasonable decor.

What?

Are you still reading? 

Go!  It’s time you start planning because you never know when offices might open up and you may be required to step out of your lazy workdays.

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Habits

How Reading can impact your Day to Day Life?

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book read

Reading is a healthy habit, which, if practiced daily, can change your entire life around. Do you want to know why? Through Reading, one can not only gain knowledge but also stay acquainted with the outside as well as the inside world. The best thing about reading daily is to have an isolated place for yourself in your mind, where you can run off to. Most people don’t have the patience or intention to read, and that too, daily. Though this is a habit that takes time to settle in but trust me, once it does, you would never regret it. So, here is a list of reasons why you should read daily?

Why should you read daily?

  • To gain knowledge

Once you start reading daily, and by Reading, it can be anything – you can read few pages of a novel, or a magazine, or newspaper, or even poetry – you would notice within weeks how much your knowledge regarding the outer world has improved. Through Reading, one can have clear information regarding the current affairs, and hence, stay updated.

  • To improve your vocabulary

Through Reading, you can definitely learn new words and hence, improve your vocabulary. Most people make it a habit to learn a new word from the dictionary every day, but if you read daily, you are bound to get new words and make a list of them on a notebook with their meanings, which is definitely going to be helpful for you.

  • To have a make-believe world

The most beautiful consequence of Reading is having one’s own imaginary world, where one can live a life full of magic. This is the extraordinary superpower one acquires while reading. In this busy daily life of ours, we all look for a secluded place where we can feel the essence of peace. Reading can fly you off to the imaginary land of sunflowers, daisies, and cats who can indeed talk.

  • To become more attentive

Most people lack patience nowadays. Being impatient and restless has become a severe problem in today’s world. Here, Reading can help you calm your mind and improve your observation skills. It works like meditation. In no time, you would find your mind focusing on details and becoming more attentive to events, which used to go unnoticed.

  • To reduce stress

Reading is similar to meditation, and hence, it definitely helps to reduce your stress. Books always have a calming effect on one’s mind. It takes you away from daily problems and stressful situations and helps your mind to gain stability. Not only it helps in reducing stress, but it also helps to decrease the anxiety levels of a person. 

Everyone should make reading a daily habit. One should switch off the mobile phones, turn off the television and take some time out to read. It works wonders on one’s day-to-day life and changes one person’s entire personality. Though it can be hard at first, with time, you would cherish the moments alone, reading in a corner while your mind is flying off to Narnia.

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