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Why NOT Communicating is Holding You Back

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Why NOT Communicating is Holding You Back

Communication holds the key to solutions to a lot of problems. In hindsight, it seems like such a simple thing to have done, but before and during putting yourself out there, it doesn’t seem that simple. There are many reasons to not want to communicate.

When you think about it, communication is one of the first skills we learn. We have been talking and conveying our thoughts for our whole lives, yet, it becomes harder to effectively communicate as we grow up.

“Communication – the human connection – is the key to personal and career success.”

-Paul J. Meyer

Between what is said and not meant, and what is meant and not said – important things are often lost and actual thoughts forgotten. The fear – of miscommunication, of saying something other than what you want to, of offending someone, of uncountable things – stops people from even trying to put their ideas across. Lack of communication can cause a lot of problems not only in your personal life but your professional life as well.

Why NOT Communicating is Holding You Back

Have you ever wanted to go and tell someone that you really like her/him, but not done so because you were too afraid of rejection and the humiliation afterward? Have you ever wanted to let your parents know that engineering is not what you wanted to do in life, but poetry and writing? Have you ever wished you told your mother how much she meant to you? All of these are common areas of communication gaps in people’s personal lives.

“You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can’t get them across, your ideas won’t get you anywhere.”

-Lee Iacocca

Have you ever wanted to tell your boss or a superior where he/she was going wrong? Have you ever wanted to pitch in a new idea to your teammates but could never gather courage? Have you ever wanted to say ‘no’ to the colleague who keeps on dumping extra work on you, but didn’t to avoid a confrontation? All of these are common struggles in people’s professional lives, where communication is the answer.

Why NOT Communicating is Holding You Back

Sometimes we simply keep quiet to avoid awkward complicated conversations aka confrontations. But silence is regarded as approval and people take it as affirmation if you don’t spell out the negative. You may think staying silent would keep you away from conflicts – many people tend to avoid conflicts and confrontations – but silence is a way of agreeing to the situation even if you disapprove of it otherwise. 

The worst-case scenario, if you say what you want to say, maybe, someone not agreeing with you, but at least you were honest about your opinions and the other person is aware that you have an issue. Often times, we create long term problems by avoiding short term awkwardness. We treat it as flight or fight and often fail to choose fight. It is essential to put ourselves out there if we want to be heard.

“Communicate unto the other person that which you would want him to communicate unto you if your positions were reversed.”

-Aaron Goldman

You can’t always wait for people to read your mind and try to guess your feelings – trust me, no one is a mind reader and in professional space, nobody has the time – you need to speak up. If you don’t gather the courage and confidence to speak, there are high chances of you missing important opportunities and ending up on the wrong path. Many people are stuck in their situation because they can’t gather the courage to speak their minds – it can be a toxic relationship or a toxic job.

Why NOT Communicating is Holding You Back

At the same time, being outspoken doesn’t mean your words need to tear down someone’s heart – be kind with your words. You need to be understanding and empathetic, especially if it is a sensitive topic. Use your words to connect with the person you are talking to. If you are telling someone their mistakes, make sure you also mention their positive traits – this is a great way to say something difficult without both the parties feeling bad about it. 

“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.”

-Tony Robbins

As much as clarity and confidence are required when putting across your views, you should also remain calm. Mind you, calm, not quiet. Instead of getting aggressive when someone is yelling at you, you should stay composed and explain yourself calmly – everyone yelling is not going to get anyone anywhere.  There’s real power in being the voice of reason in tough situations.

Sometimes, we feel that we should wait for the right time before we say something to someone – especially in personal life – what we forget is that there is never the right time. This is just us making excuses to get out of a pickle. You never know what happens next – waiting for the right time might make you too late to the party. You never think or know that the last time is the last time. You think there will be more opportunities to convey your message. You think you have forever, but you don’t. 

All of these thoughts are just excuses that we keep giving ourselves because we fear our feelings won’t be accepted properly, we fear rejection. Fear breaks relationships, and wastes opportunities. Substitute that fear with courage. That is how you grow. 

Why NOT Communicating is Holding You Back

Say what you want to say, not what people want to hear. Speak your mind out.  This will help you in the long run, because then you won’t be stuck doing what you don’t want to, and your mind won’t be filled with what-ifs.

While communicating is necessary, communicating correctly is as important. There are many things that we get wrong because of being nervous while speaking. Come back tomorrow to learn about common communication mistakes that we make and why. 

“Precision of communication is important, more important than ever, in our era of hair-trigger balances, when a false or misunderstood word may create as much disaster as a sudden thoughtless act.”

-James Thurber

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