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Why Learning to Choose the Battles You Fight is Important

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Why Learning to Choose the Battles You Fight is Important

Not all battles are worth fighting, this is something all of us know in theory, but seldom know how to practice it. There’s a thin line between not taking action because you are scared and not taking action because it is not worth it.

It is easy to convince yourself that the reason for your inaction is the knowledge that the fight isn’t worth it when, in reality, you are just scared to take the leap and vice versa.

Most of the time, when we see something wrong happening, our instinct is to right the wrong. We decide to get up and fight for the cause; we all want what’s best to happen. But, sometimes we are stopped and told to “reconsider our decision, our stance, because it may not be worth it.” But then again, we are also advised to keep trying, “because it may not show results right away, but someday it would.”

Sometimes when we are way angry about someone or something or can’t agree with the masses, we are told to calm down because, “Live peacefully, the world is already at war.”

These questions often plague our minds – Why are we told to calm down? Why are we told to let it be? Why should we pick our fights carefully?

Why Should You Be Selective of the Battles You Fight?

Why Learning to Choose the Battles You Fight is Important

The reason we are told to be selective of jumping into a fight, especially when it comes to personal relationships, is because a relationship of any kind goes on only when two people learn to enjoy their differences. Instead of lashing out on each other at every small issue, we need to learn to respect each other’s boundaries. What matters to you might not make sense to someone else, and what matters to them might seem illogical to you – this is where you are usually supposed to take a step back.

“Part of the happiness of life consists not in fighting battles, but in avoiding them. A masterly retreat is in itself a victory.”

-Norman Vincent Peale

Because usually, in situations like this, there is a low probability of winning, and winning isn’t everything. At the moment, it may seem like winning the argument is everything, and you may win the argument, but lose the relationship. Because winning doesn’t matter as much as you think it does, people do. 

Which is why, you need to be selective in your battles, sometimes peace is better than being right. I have always chosen peace. This choice wasn’t my first always. I would jump at the opportunity of proving myself right, but then slowly, I realized not only was I straining my relationships, but also was hammering away at my own peace. When this realization dawns on you, you realize how futile the need to win was, and you start choosing peace.

“The foolish race of mankind are swarming below in the night; they shriek and rage and quarrel — and all of them are right.”

-Heinrich Heine

Sometimes staying calm and not giving in to the anger can help with the situation more than trying to diffuse it with words ever would. Because in the heat of the moment, words can be easily lost in translation and can be perceived as something they weren’t supposed to be. That being said, speak up when it’s necessary, not when it would simply lead to an insignificant argument. 

When and Why Should You Walk Away?

Why Learning to Choose the Battles You Fight is Important

“I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig, you get dirty; and besides, the pig likes it.”

-George Bernard Shaw

Some people love baiting other people to get a reaction out of them. These people are usually attention seekers; they like the attention being on them. For that, they will rope in anyone. You may even be forced to participate in a fight you don’t even care about. But, because they have riled you enough, you don’t stand back. Don’t engage in the futile exercise, instead say, “Yes okay, you win” and walk away. They are looking for an argument most of the time, and they want to get a reaction out of you; don’t give in, you simply don’t play their game.

“Sometimes you win by walking away.” 

Because you are not giving them what they wanted, you walking away is going to piss them as well. There’s no making them happy. You need to understand that it’s their own struggle, you don’t need to be a part of that. You don’t need to entertain the needs of such people. This is why it is also important to cut toxic people out of your life.

“Whenever we want to combat our enemies, first and foremost we must start by understanding them rather than exaggerating their motives.”

-Criss Jami

YOU are your biggest opponent. Fight yourself every day, to improve the quality of the life you lead, to achieve what you want. Live life on your own terms and stop justifying yourself to everybody – you don’t owe anyone, anything. Our biggest flaw is that we are never really confident about ourselves; we are never sure about our capabilities. Our inadequacy is the reason we compete, and it is the reason we get angry, jealous. 

Final Thoughts

There aren’t a lot of battles worth fighting – when there is something really wrong happening; either your friend is in trouble, or someone is being mistreated – that is when you are actually supposed to take a stand. 

“Pick the right battle and win the war.”

Petty fights don’t deserve your attention, nor do they deserve a reaction. They only make a mess and leave scars. Not everything is worth flipping out over – very few things in life are. 

Learn to stay calm and composed – it won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. Talking less or not fighting doesn’t make you a coward; it just shows that you are mature enough not to let irrational things hurt you. Don’t let people get the best of you.

Self Improvement

Top Ways To Unwind At The End Of The Week

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“Do not underestimate the value of doing nothing, of just going along, listening to all things you can not hear, and not bothering.” These lines by A.A.Milne, are a much-needed piece of advice in our daily humdrum lifestyle.

You are juggling a busy life and making an effort to climb the ladder of success while also trying to be socially active, mentally stimulated and physically healthy. Don’t you feel like just unwinding over a weekend and recharging your batteries? Do not contemplate; keep an open schedule, and loosen up. Inhale and exhale!

A weekend off after a long week of stress and hard work is essential for your mental health, and to take on the coming week with a fresh attitude. 

We are suggesting some ways/activities that help you unwind over the weekend. 

Read a book

Pick up the book you wanted to read. You may have read a couple of pages of the book. You purchased the book on a friends recommendation and have not found the time to start reading it. Do not delay it further. Spend the weekend with your book. Curl up in that cosy nook with a warm mug of coffee and get reading! Drown out the noises of your daily routine and immerse yourself in someone’s story. 

Must, read Essential Must-Read Self-Help Books

Pursue that hobby

Have you had the luxury of just spending some time with yourself pursuing your hobby? Winston Churchill rightly said that ” To be really happy and really safe, one ought to have at least two or three hobbies, and they must be real.” So take the advice, go on a digital detox for some hours or the weekend. Pick up that instrument you enjoy playing, go for a dance class and let your hair down, or spend some hours in your garden with your green babies in complete tranquillity. 

Exercise

Step out of your house, go for a jog or a long walk and enjoy your own company. A physical form of exercise is enjoyable and is a magic potion for your mental well-being. Go Hiking, cycling, swimming or any form of physical activity that you cannot pursue during your hectic week and make it a part of your weekend schedule. Barack Obama famously said that ” You have to exercise, or at some point, you”ll just break down.” 

Socialize

Are you the kind who only has work-friends? It is borderline unhealthy to have a social circle only in your workspace. Schedule a lunch with your relatives/family, meet a long-time college or school friend for dinner. Anne Lamott says, ” Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes… including you.” It is always good to disconnect from work and connect with your near and dear ones. Be mindful of the time and do not push yourself till the wee hours of the night. Try and squeeze in some extra hours of sleep over the weekend as well.

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Self Improvement

4 Essential Must-Read Self-Help Books

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Self help Books

Charles Baudelaire once said, “A book is a garden, an orchard, a storehouse, a party, a company, a counselor, a multitude of counselors.” Whether you are someone who is just beginning to wander into the world of books, or reading is your second nature, chances are that you will learn a bit or two from everything you read.

With the growing popularity of non-fiction books, one of the biggest and best-selling genres these days has become that of self-help and self-improvement books. If that piques your interest and makes you want to get one for yourself, here is a list of 4 essential self-help books that everybody should read.

Also, read Things About Self-Love That You Need To Know Right Now!

1. Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

Victor Frankl’s 1946 book Man’s Search for Meaning is a chronicle of the traumatic experiences he went through while imprisoned in Nazi concentration camps during World War II. The book breaks down his psychotherapeutic method into two simple steps— identifying one’s purpose in life – something that imparts positive energy and wholly dedicating the imagination to that outcome.

2. Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life

If you are active on social media, then this aesthetic little blue book must have appeared on your feed at least once. But don’t be fooled by its charming appeal, because this book by Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles, as claimed in the subtitle, holds the elusive key to happiness and contentment in one’s life. It uses the principle of finding and adhering to your ‘ikigai’ or ‘reason for living’ to strike a balance between your interests, contribution to the world, and personal sustainability.

3. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey

In his book, Stephen Covey shares 7 simple habits, which if followed diligently, can improve your life by making you truly effective and efficient in everything that you do. Not only that, the realistic advice in this book focuses on uplifting not just yourself, but also encouraging others around you to do the same, thus creating a stable and flourishing environment.

4. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

No list about self-help books can be considered complete without including this absolute classic from 1936 by Dale Carnegie, the be-all and end-all of this kind of literature. How to Win Friends and Influence People tackles a variety of social spheres from the public to the private, and the original edition had six sections, namely: “Twelve Things This Book Will Do For You”, “Fundamental Techniques in Handling People”, “Six Ways to Make People Like You”. “Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking”, “Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment”, “Letters That Produced Miraculous Results”, and finally, “Seven Rules For Making Your Home Life Happier”.

As is clear, Carnegie’s book covers a lot of bases that people struggle with— which is why the book was an instant bestseller upon launch.

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Mindfulness

5 Things About Self-Love That You Need To Know Right Now!

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Who is the first person that comes to your mind when you talk about love? Is it your family, a friend, or your significant other? But, what about you? Self-love is important to lead a happy and healthy life in a world that keeps growing stressful and demanding by the day. However, this concept is often overlooked and misunderstood. So, here are the 5 most important things that you should know about self-love.

Must, Read Best Ways to Deal With Self-Doubt

5 Most Important Things About Self-Love

1. Self-Love Cannot Be Attained Overnight

When you’ve lived a major portion of your life disregarding your needs and value, then giving yourself the care and love that you deserve might take some time. Just like loving others, loving yourself is like a journey and a consistent process. Also, don’t overemphasize your flaws. All humans have flaws and those flaws are what make you humane and unique.

2. Self-Love is Important to Practice

Practicing self-love will inculcate a better mindset that opens more doors for you to give and receive love. According to psychologists, creating a healthy relationship, full of care and understanding, with yourself will help you form the same kind of relationship with others as well. Also, maintaining healthy boundaries is very important too.

3. Finding the Sources to Heal Is Difficult

If you are in the process of healing and are taking the necessary steps to heal, then you should be proud of yourself. Healing takes time, is quite complex, and is not that easy. Becoming overwhelmed during the process is normal and while you do become so, know that you’re not alone. Digging deep into past wounds or even reoccurring ones could be quite overwhelming.

It might be tempting to keep pushing but remember that self-love also includes acknowledging your boundaries. So, you need to step back from healing for a bit when it becomes too much to handle.

4. Give Permission to Be Compassionate Towards Yourself

One of the biggest sources of strength is being able to be kind towards yourself in life. Society makes us blame ourselves when things go wrong. As a result, time and again we make ourselves believe that we aren’t good enough or qualified enough. Rather, we should try to objectively examine the situation.

Suppressing yourself for the sake of others could be brutal towards your self-esteem. You need to consciously accept that you deserve understanding and kindness. And while you do that, your self-esteem and confidence will keep growing.

5. Do What Your Heart Asks You To

Have you ever felt as if you have to do something because others were pressurizing you to? Committing to something you don’t want to such as taking a certain career path that you don’t like could be dangerous. This might seem to resolve differences with others for a short while, it might leave you unfulfilled later on.

Loving yourself also includes allowing yourself the right to follow your own dreams and desires regardless of what others might say. That will make you happy and fulfilled.

Final Thoughts

Self-love could also seem difficult at times. It does what is best for you and you might not feel excited about it all the time. For example, sleeping early because tomorrow is an important day or not meeting your friends because you have to finish an assignment. Setting down and respecting your own boundaries is a great thing.

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