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Why Learning to Choose the Battles You Fight is Important

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Why Learning to Choose the Battles You Fight is Important

Not all battles are worth fighting, this is something all of us know in theory, but seldom know how to practice it. There’s a thin line between not taking action because you are scared and not taking action because it is not worth it.

It is easy to convince yourself that the reason for your inaction is the knowledge that the fight isn’t worth it when, in reality, you are just scared to take the leap and vice versa.

Most of the time, when we see something wrong happening, our instinct is to right the wrong. We decide to get up and fight for the cause; we all want what’s best to happen. But, sometimes we are stopped and told to “reconsider our decision, our stance, because it may not be worth it.” But then again, we are also advised to keep trying, “because it may not show results right away, but someday it would.”

Sometimes when we are way angry about someone or something or can’t agree with the masses, we are told to calm down because, “Live peacefully, the world is already at war.”

These questions often plague our minds – Why are we told to calm down? Why are we told to let it be? Why should we pick our fights carefully?

Why Should You Be Selective of the Battles You Fight?

Why Learning to Choose the Battles You Fight is Important

The reason we are told to be selective of jumping into a fight, especially when it comes to personal relationships, is because a relationship of any kind goes on only when two people learn to enjoy their differences. Instead of lashing out on each other at every small issue, we need to learn to respect each other’s boundaries. What matters to you might not make sense to someone else, and what matters to them might seem illogical to you – this is where you are usually supposed to take a step back.

“Part of the happiness of life consists not in fighting battles, but in avoiding them. A masterly retreat is in itself a victory.”

-Norman Vincent Peale

Because usually, in situations like this, there is a low probability of winning, and winning isn’t everything. At the moment, it may seem like winning the argument is everything, and you may win the argument, but lose the relationship. Because winning doesn’t matter as much as you think it does, people do. 

Which is why, you need to be selective in your battles, sometimes peace is better than being right. I have always chosen peace. This choice wasn’t my first always. I would jump at the opportunity of proving myself right, but then slowly, I realized not only was I straining my relationships, but also was hammering away at my own peace. When this realization dawns on you, you realize how futile the need to win was, and you start choosing peace.

“The foolish race of mankind are swarming below in the night; they shriek and rage and quarrel — and all of them are right.”

-Heinrich Heine

Sometimes staying calm and not giving in to the anger can help with the situation more than trying to diffuse it with words ever would. Because in the heat of the moment, words can be easily lost in translation and can be perceived as something they weren’t supposed to be. That being said, speak up when it’s necessary, not when it would simply lead to an insignificant argument. 

When and Why Should You Walk Away?

Why Learning to Choose the Battles You Fight is Important

“I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig, you get dirty; and besides, the pig likes it.”

-George Bernard Shaw

Some people love baiting other people to get a reaction out of them. These people are usually attention seekers; they like the attention being on them. For that, they will rope in anyone. You may even be forced to participate in a fight you don’t even care about. But, because they have riled you enough, you don’t stand back. Don’t engage in the futile exercise, instead say, “Yes okay, you win” and walk away. They are looking for an argument most of the time, and they want to get a reaction out of you; don’t give in, you simply don’t play their game.

“Sometimes you win by walking away.” 

Because you are not giving them what they wanted, you walking away is going to piss them as well. There’s no making them happy. You need to understand that it’s their own struggle, you don’t need to be a part of that. You don’t need to entertain the needs of such people. This is why it is also important to cut toxic people out of your life.

“Whenever we want to combat our enemies, first and foremost we must start by understanding them rather than exaggerating their motives.”

-Criss Jami

YOU are your biggest opponent. Fight yourself every day, to improve the quality of the life you lead, to achieve what you want. Live life on your own terms and stop justifying yourself to everybody – you don’t owe anyone, anything. Our biggest flaw is that we are never really confident about ourselves; we are never sure about our capabilities. Our inadequacy is the reason we compete, and it is the reason we get angry, jealous. 

Final Thoughts

There aren’t a lot of battles worth fighting – when there is something really wrong happening; either your friend is in trouble, or someone is being mistreated – that is when you are actually supposed to take a stand. 

“Pick the right battle and win the war.”

Petty fights don’t deserve your attention, nor do they deserve a reaction. They only make a mess and leave scars. Not everything is worth flipping out over – very few things in life are. 

Learn to stay calm and composed – it won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. Talking less or not fighting doesn’t make you a coward; it just shows that you are mature enough not to let irrational things hurt you. Don’t let people get the best of you.

Habits

5 Non-Negotiable Things You Need to Do Before Your Bedtime

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5 Non-Negotiable Things You Need to Do Before Your Bedtime

What you do before going to bed can help you end the day on a positive note even if it wasn’t a particularly positive day, and will also help you set the tone for the next day. The activities you do also help you to immediately fall asleep without lying in bed tossing and turning.

If you have had a good night’s sleep, most of your health problems will go away. The problem with the start-up and entrepreneurial culture is that we try to work as much as we can by sacrificing everything – food, sleep, fun, and eventually health.

“A well-formulated nighttime routine will help you wind down and sleep better.”

-Anonymous

Good sleep helps you start your next day well-rested, bright, fresh and stress-free. If you have been trying to wake up early, the first step is to go to bed early to get in a full sleep cycle. 

If having a morning routine is important to take care of yourself and make the most of your day, so is having a night routine. What you do at night helps you wrap your day up feeling satisfied and that helps you fall asleep better which then helps you wake up feeling energized and motivated. 

A well-rested body and a well-rested mind will help you achieve a lot more than working 24-hours non-stop and this is why you should always do these things before you turn in for the night.

1. Express Gratitude

5 Non-Negotiable Things You Need to Do Before Your Bedtime

Expressing gratitude is an activity that is becoming more and more popular with the millennials. With fast-paced lives, always running to get somewhere or get something done – we have forgotten to stop and appreciate the little things in our lives.

In the race for getting what we want, we fail to show gratitude for the things we have. Being appreciative of what you have achieved, what you have, people you love and who love you can fill you with joy and optimism. An optimistic approach toward things helps you move forward with a renewed vigour and helps you lead a better life.

“When I’m worried and cannot sleep I count my blessings instead of sheep.”

-Bing Crosby

You shouldn’t only be appreciative of external factors, you need to acknowledge and motivate yourself too. While I suggest giving yourself positive affirmations every morning, acknowledging your achievements for the day when you are about to go to bed will help you feel better about yourself and will help you curb the always rising self-doubt.

There are gratitude journals that give you prompts about things to write or you can write three things you are thankful for each day.

2. Set Goals for the Next Day

5 Non-Negotiable Things You Need to Do Before Your Bedtime

I have talked in detail about why you should prepare your to-do lists in the night, but here’s the gist. At the end of the day, you know what you have achieved and what remains. This gives you a chance to revise the list and make a new game plan for the next day. 

When you make a list at night, you can spend your time in the morning focusing on yourself rather than working out a schedule for your day. You will wake up with a schedule and a sense of direction. Mornings should anyway be dedicated to your health and well-being.

3. Read for 45 Minutes to 1 Hour

5 Non-Negotiable Things You Need to Do Before Your Bedtime

If you want to learn about anything, read.
If you want to grow, read.
If you want to polish your skills, read.
If you want to sharpen your mind, read.

I have always loved reading and keep looking for ways to read more because there is so much to read and I never feel like I have enough time to read them all. Only reading isn’t important, comprehending what you read is as important, especially if you are reading non-fiction.

Reading isn’t limited to only books – with the internet comes a ton of reading material to choose from. With successful people telling the world what they read and with them sharing their reading habits, everyone trying to make it as an entrepreneur has started to pick up more books, which is a good thing.

If you can’t find time to read during the day, then allot 45 minutes to an hour before your bedtime to reading. This will make sure that you have a schedule and help you get some reading done every day.

4. Meditate

5 Non-Negotiable Things You Need to Do Before Your Bedtime

Meditating is one of the easiest ways to get in touch with your inner self. It lets you spend time with your own thoughts and emotions. When you focus on your inner self, you give yourselves the opportunity to take time out to sort your thoughts and acknowledge your emotions. You don’t keep pushing things that are bothering you and you don’t file unacknowledged emotions to the back of your mind to crop up later. 

“Man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep.”

-Mahatma Gandhi

You start becoming more aware of your emotional and mental health and learn to let go of things that might have bothered you throughout the day. It also helps you become more focused and improves your concentration. It helps you feel in control of your life and yourself.

5. Go on a Walk

5 Non-Negotiable Things You Need to Do Before Your Bedtime

Walks are a great way to sort your thoughts while getting some exercise in. Going on walks after dinner helps with digestion and because your body gets worked up a little it always helps you sleep better.

Talking an evening walk or an after-dinner walk is one of the most common routines that people share – spending time in nature, getting some fresh air, working the food down, and getting some exercise are few of the many reasons.

Bonus: Set Your Alarm

5 Non-Negotiable Things You Need to Do Before Your Bedtime

This is an obvious one. But, I would suggest revising your alarms every few days. Waking at the same time if you recently have started needing to put in more hours at work just doesn’t make sense. Your body won’t be getting the full rest it needs.

“Finish each day before you begin the next, and interpose a solid wall of sleep between the two.”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Yes, waking up early is important, but what is more important is getting complete rest. If you need to wake up late then, by all means, change your alarm to a later hour.

Final Thoughts

Having a setlist of non-negotiable things you need to do before going to bed helps you be mindful of what energy you carry with yourself to sleep. Try going to bed pissed at things and try going to bed feeling peaceful – you will feel the difference in how long it takes to fall asleep, in the thoughts that enter your mind, and in the quality of sleep you get.

And of course, don’t forget to brush and floss and wash your face!

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Motivation

7 Reasons to Leave Your Comfort Zone

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7 Reasons to Leave Your Comfort Zone

Everyone is afraid of leaving their comfort zone because your comfort zone is more comfortable, right? What we don’t realize is that we learn things when we find courage enough to step out of our comfort zones.

“The hardest thing to do is leaving your comfort zone. But you have to let go of the life you’re familiar with and take the risk to live the life you dream about.”

-T. Arigo

When you dream of something big, you will often have to do things that make you uncomfortable, that scare you. It doesn’t mean that those things are bad, chances are that they won’t be as difficult as you think. Some level of fear and anxiety is important for us to keep moving forward, to make progress, doing things that take us out of our comfort zone is a way to have those feelings propelling us forwards.

If things haven’t been working for you up until now, then you have nothing to lose by trying something new because to achieve something new, you have to do something that you have never done before. Take the first step, dabble your toe into the sea, if you still feel scared out of your minds then you can always return to your safe space.

As long as you keep trying to get out there, you are good to go. Here are some reasons to take the plunge.

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

-Neale Donald Walsch

1. You Won’t Regret Missing Out on a Potential Opportunity

When you refuse to level your comfort zone, there will be a lot of things you can miss. You cannot keep doing the same things you do right now and expect to achieve bigger dreams. If you have a big vision, then you will have to constantly be stepping out of your comfort zone.

Being a little uncomfortable means you are going to be learning a few new things. For example, if you have always been scared of public speaking then putting your ideas out there in meetings and presentations will be difficult. You will have to step out of your comfort zone, be a little uncomfortable, deal with a bit of anxiety, but eventually, you will be comfortable enough to speak up among people who hold power.

2. It Will Help Boost Your Confidence

7 Reasons to Leave Your Comfort Zone

When you get out of your comfort zone, you will learn new things, you will get new experiences, and eventually, you will put a new skill to your name. Having a new skill will boost your confidence because now you aren’t scared of doing something like you earlier were.

For the same example as above, now that you have learned to step out there and speak up, it will give you the confidence to put out your ideas and views in front of people and you will eventually get to take on bigger projects.

3. You Will Feel Self-Fulfilled

People who are stuck in their comfort zones often have a weight of the feeling of underachievement over whatever work they do. The regret that they couldn’t do something because it made them uncomfortable makes them feel that they are not quite living their life to the fullest.

When you step out of your comfort zone, you grow, find the momentum to move forward, find a better level of productivity – all of these things lead you to a sense of self-fulfillment, this gives you a feeling of satisfaction.

4. You Will Become More Productive

7 Reasons to Leave Your Comfort Zone

When you learn to be okay with the discomfort that comes in the beginning – when you do something that makes you step out of your comfort zone – you will eventually become more productive.

Getting out there requires you to be more focused, to develop self-confidence, and to believe in yourself – these things push you to do things you never thought were possible. When you learn to make yourself be heard even with the nagging discomfort of speaking in the public, you will eventually increase your productivity because you can get started on whatever it is that you wanted to discuss instead of waiting for someone else to come up with it or you to find someone alone or you to wait to develop enough confidence to broach the subject.

5. You Will Learn People Don’t Care a Lot

One of the reasons that people are scared of doing something is the thought of people judging them. Everyone has a lot on their plates, yes, they might look your way but nobody has the time to keep thinking about you. If they do, then you anyway shouldn’t be caring about their opinion.

You have to convince yourself to not let other people’s opinions sway your decisions. When you start doing things because they are going to help you grow, you will learn that what others say doesn’t hold much weight. You will learn to eliminate fear.

6. You Will Find New Things That You Love

7 Reasons to Leave Your Comfort Zone

You found your current passion by doing something you didn’t always do. Unless you try new things, you will never find things you enjoy that get your mind whirring. To learn more about ourselves, we need to keep testing our limits.

By stepping out, we are really connecting with our inner selves more. Because the more we go exploring, the more we are going to find out.

7. You Will Start Finding it Easier

As you start putting yourself out there more and more, it will start getting easier. You gain self-confidence and eliminate fear by venturing out of your comfort zone and these things that help you grow as a person will make the process easier.

The next time you have to do something uncomfortable to achieve something, it won’t be as difficult as the first time because now you know that the sense of achievement that follows the fear is totally worth doing it.

Final Thoughts

“The biggest rewards in life are found outside your comfort zone. Live with it. Fear and risk are prerequisites if you want to enjoy a life of success and adventure.”

-Jack Canfield

The best things in life often happen just out of your comfort zone. It’s ok to be scared of new things. Being scared means you’re about to do something really brave and new, which will give you a new experience and will teach you a thing or two.

If you want to change, your life to change, then you have to be willing to be uncomfortable because by leaving your comfort zone behind, by taking a leap of faith, by risking something – you will find out who you are truly capable of. Unless you face something difficult, you will never know your truest potential.

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Health

5 Things that Can Make Your Anxiety Worse

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5 Things that Can Make Your Anxiety Worse

Anxiety has become so common among people that common cold doesn’t seem that common anymore. Feelings of worry, nervousness, or unease about things are very easy to be found. Human emotions have become more suppressed with the want of succeeding in life, we have lost touch with our true selves. 

We have become obsessed with uncertain outcomes that give us a feeling of anxiety. The strong desire or concern to do something or for something to happen that is not even in our control is what takes over our rational thinking most of the times. We aren’t helping it with our habits either.

Our lifestyles have become so cumbersome that things that worsen our anxieties have become more acceptable. We don’t even realize what some of the innocent-seeming habits we possess can be the cause of our anxiety. Let’s discuss some of those today.

1. Irregular Sleep

5 Things that Can Make Your Anxiety Worse

Everyone is after busy lives these days, having no time to rest has become the new hip. People brag about how little sleep they get. It is sort of becoming a competition where we top the other person by telling them how little sleep we are getting. Having no sleep pattern messes up our body, this is something that we will eventually realize.

Working hard is misconstructed as late nights and early mornings, meaning no rest whatsoever. Another reason that people have difficulty falling asleep is spending time on social media with fear of missing out (FOMO) lingering over our shoulders – this has been seen to be a reason for anxiety in many people.

“The minute anyone’s getting anxious I say, ‘You must eat and you must sleep.’ They’re the two vital elements for a healthy life.”

-Francesca Annis

Worrying about our work, life, and whatnot already makes it difficult to fall asleep for people with anxiety, now, add to that spending hours scrolling through various apps that cause more anxiety – the result is irregular sleep. 

Irregular sleep doesn’t only impact our physical health negatively, but our mental and emotional health is affected as well – anxiety being one of them.

2. Stress and Conflict

5 Things that Can Make Your Anxiety Worse

Stress has become a great part of everyone’s life. There are a lot of things that have started taking over people’s will to spend time for themselves, even when free there is something to think about. Personal and professional are not the only worries for people now, economical, political, environmental, etc. all take precedence because of people becoming more aware.

“It is not a daily increase, but a daily decrease. Hack away at the inessentials.”

-Bruce Lee

It is a good thing, obviously, but we don’t know how to stop or when to stop. Knowing the line when we take our thinking to the level of it becoming harmful to us is becoming more difficult. Not only that people have been becoming less patient because of always being in a rush to be somewhere, but this has also disrupted communication among people.

Between what is said and not meant, and what is meant and not said – conflicts are rising –  important things are often lost and actual thoughts forgotten. The fear of saying something other than what you want to, of offending someone, of uncountable other things – stops people from even trying to put their ideas across.

“Peace is not the absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means.”

-Ronald Reagan

On the other hand, the ease of putting your thoughts out there easily through social media has also made people speak (or type) without thinking. Lack of communication can cause a lot of problems not only in your personal life but your professional life as well – so many people have lost jobs because of one wrong tweet they sent out without thinking. All of these things, make your anxiety worse.

Be mindful of what you put out and be mindful of what you let yourself invest your energy in.

3. Watching and/or Reading a Lot of Negative News and/or Stories

5 Things that Can Make Your Anxiety Worse

All of us have our fair share of problems. This makes starting our day with optimism difficult. Clearing our mind of negativity or negative thoughts is something everyone is seeking right now. You need a positive attitude to take on your day with vigour.

News usually doesn’t bring you happy things. Reading or watching News first thing in the morning isn’t a good idea because it somehow will set the tone for the day. There’s not much you can do about a lot of sad things that will be shown. You need to learn to not let it affect your day.

Some people fall into the rabbit-hole of reading or watching one sad story after another – may it be in the form of novels, articles, videos, audiobooks, etc. – this can often lead to us not feeling good about a lot of things. Anxiety reaches the roof as you go on reading. After you close the book or whatever it is that is bringing you the negativity, you can feel your anxiety levels rising.

“Quit sharing bad news and gossip you aren’t a garbage truck.”

-Grant Cardone

If you are someone who doesn’t know when to stop when reading or watching what is wrong with the world or people or horrific situations, you might want to look for ways to not let yourself continue with the habit. It is detrimental to your mental health – it increases your anxiety which also happens because you become more paranoid.

4. Too Much Social Media

5 Things that Can Make Your Anxiety Worse

There is such a thing as “too much social media.” We have become so used to checking our phones every few minutes that if we don’t have our phones we immediately start feeling FOMO (Fear of missing out) which leads to anxiety. Following other people who flaunt their wealth will often make people feel dissatisfied from their own life.

“Social media is addictive precisely because it gives us something which the real world lacks: it gives us immediacy, direction, and value as an individual.”

-David Amerland

People with insecurities can easily get their insecurities triggered which again leads to anxiety. This is why social media detox is becoming a thing. Social media detox allows people to gain perspective on their relationship with social networks. It also gives them a chance to deal with the anxiety caused by social media addiction.

5. Saying Yes to Too Many Things

5 Things that Can Make Your Anxiety Worse

You will often see “saying yes to things” in people’s goals list. The other extreme is a problem as well. Some people do not know how to say “no” which leads to them taking on more than they can deal with – overfilling their plates, biting more than they can chew – you can call it whatever you want, but it makes people more anxious.

Learning to say “no” is a skill all of us need to learn. Not saying “yes” might make us lose opportunities, but not saying “no” becomes detrimental to our health. Saying “yes” to everything also brings things we don’t want. Add saying “no” to negativity in your list so that you can learn to put yourself first.

“Learning to “just say no” to emotional reactions isn’t repression. Saying no means not engaging the frustration, anger, judgment, or blame. Without engagement, you won’t have anything to repress.”

-Doc Childre

When you understand that you are who you should be putting first, it becomes easier to accept or deny things. You don’t end up taking a lot more than you can do, and that helps you not be overwhelmed by things you need to do, which leads to our work not being associated with the feeling of anxiety.

Final Thoughts

5 Things that Can Make Your Anxiety Worse

We need to make lifestyle changes to make our life more meaningful and less stressful. You have to focus on things that bring more positivity in your life and help you achieve a state of mental peace. Habits that you form should help you become a better person, they shouldn’t be the cause of problems.

Learn to identify what causes you anxiety or even increases it a bit, and find a solution to either get it out of your life or at least find a way to deal with it better.

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