When it comes to self-development for men, the word ‘alpha’ gets thrown around a lot. An alpha mostly refers to the top-most male in a group, the successful one. And becoming an alpha is essentially a process of transforming oneself into a state where you are naturally seen as the ‘best among men’. To help you out in your quest to become an alpha, I list below six simple tips.
1. Confidence, Not Arrogance
Many people tend to confuse being confident as being arrogant when it comes to the topic of alpha behavior. Though it is a false notion, it is understandable why people may think this way. The main reason is that being an alpha is equated with aggressiveness.
And someone who is aggressive also tends to be quite arrogant; always trying to dominate every person and treating others as if they are beneath them. While this can also be called alpha behavior, there is a big difference between an arrogant alpha and a confident alpha.
An arrogant alpha will never get respect from other people. And even if they manage to get any respect, it will fade away as people get fed up with their arrogant ways. In contrast, a confident alpha evokes respect from others. In fact, people will, out of their own free will, choose to follow a confident alpha. And it is this type of alpha that you must aim to become – the confident one, not the arrogant one.
2. Physical Appearance
First, let us be clear about one thing – alpha behavior is not directly linked to your physical appearance like being tall and well built. After all, some of the biggest conquerors in the world, like Alexander, Genghis Khan, and Napoleon, were all pretty average looking people with average or less than average height. Having said that, we must also face the reality that having a good physical appearance does help to cement in your alpha status.
Your height is not something you can improve, but your body is. So, if you have an average body with a slight potbelly, then it is time that you start working on it. Dedicate a few months to intense workouts and diet regimen, and you will be in the best of shape. As a result, you may find that you have a far easier time asserting your ‘alphaness’ than previously. Being in the best shape gives you the confidence to carry yourself with more poise because you feel good about yourself.
3. Body Language
If there is one thing that will scream an alpha attitude, it is your body language. The power of an alpha body language is such that you don’t even have to say a single word for people to perceive you as an alpha. You might even have come across such people in your life – men who just walk into a room and easily get everyone to talk to them with respect even though they themselves haven’t uttered a single word.
Unlike building a muscular body, developing an alpha body language is a far more difficult task. This is mostly because body language works on the subconscious level. Even if you try to fake an alpha body language, your real behavior and attitude will inevitably seep through at some point and reveal to others that you were only faking being an alpha. So, it is better to try and invest some time in developing an alpha body language. By doing so, all your actions will naturally have a sign of ‘alphaness’.
4. Must Have Vast Knowledge
There is a kind of alpha who gains immense respect – the one that knows everything. Such people are almost walking encyclopedias, knowing everything. If you ask them about quantum physics, the best way of cooking chicken, or the right way to install an Android update; they will always have an answer. And the people around them inevitably see them with a certain kind of respect.
So, if you are not the type of guy who likes to spend hours at the gym but is more interested in learning about new things, then this is perfect for you. Read on whatever topics interest you, research them fully, and develop a deep understanding of everything you wish to know. The knowledge you accumulate, over the years, will eventually become the key to being an alpha.
5. Be Completely Self-Reliant
You must also learn to be self-reliant. This does not mean that you never seek out the help of another person. That is just ridiculously impossible in this world. Being self-reliant essentially means that you are capable of handling most of your affairs by yourself. If you observe alpha people, you will see that they mostly never depend on other people to perform their tasks. Instead, those who are alpha do everything by themselves.
And by doing so, they project a kind of independence that people will admire. After all, people who are perceived as independent will inevitably gain more respect than those who are seen as dependent. As such, it is essential that you start becoming a more self-reliant human being rather than depending on other people.
6. Develop Leadership Skills
A big characteristic of being an alpha is leadership skills. This is why army generals, business CEOs, political leaders, etc. are always treated by people with a sense of respect. As such, it is imperative that you also develop your leadership skills. If you have been shying away from taking positions of power, then you must overcome that hurdle.
When the next opportunity of being a leader comes your way, accept it and try to do a good job. The first few times might be rough and you may even turn out to be inefficient. But slowly, with experience, you will start to see what it takes to lead and what qualities you must develop and exhibit in order to make people follow you.
When you have naturally entered into such a mindset, you will have developed a strong alpha attitude. You won’t be running away from leadership responsibilities anymore. Instead, you will search for them and naturally position yourself as an alpha.
3 Things You Can Do to Make Humor a Habit
Have you ever talked to someone and couldn’t stop laughing? It wasn’t them telling a knock-knock joke or making a specific joke, it was just their one-liners in the midst of conversation, some keen observation, and some creative comparisons that had you laughing along.
This – humor – is a quality that helps people put others at ease in their presence. When you are humorous by nature, people are drawn to you. You can easily diffuse a tense situation, you become a people magnet, and you can joke about yourself reeling people in because they can relate. This has high benefits. Not only as a personality trait that helps you in social settings, but being humorous is also beneficial for your personal life, professional life, and health.
“If you can laugh at yourself, you are going to be fine. If you allow others to laugh with you, you will be great.”
When people think of improving personal qualities, they usually focus on aspects like beauty, intelligence, confidence, physical strength and so on. Very rarely do people think of developing their sense of humor. This is sad in a way since a good sense of humor can easily make you appear attractive, boost confidence, and make you look overall smarter in front of others.
So, why not focus on making humor a habit?
Now that we have looked at how humor can bring about positive changes in your life and the attributes of a humorous person, let’s talk about how to develop a sense of humor so that it becomes your second nature by examining how you can develop a sense of humor and learn to infuse it in your daily life.
Watch Comedy Shows
A good way to develop your humor sense is to watch comedy shows. Make a note of the best comedy shows on TV and online, and be sure to watch at least one episode per day. When you do this for a few months, you will start using some of the jokes you heard in conversations with other people.
And slowly, you will start creating your own jokes depending on the situation you are in. Make sure that you definitely watch shows that are dependent on taking a funny outlook on current issues. The unique perspective such shows bring to real-world problems will surely make you see the world in the same sarcastic and funny way.
Join a Comedy Class
If you are serious about learning to be a humorous person, consider joining a comedy class. Since they are conducted by professional comedians, they can teach you tips and tricks to train your mind to see the humor in different situations.
Plus, you will be with a group of people who share the same goal as you – developing their funny side. And being part of a group where you can make a joke without worrying about its failure will definitely give you the confidence to sharpen your humorous side. However, do keep in mind that such courses do not come cheap.
Be Silly Sometimes
“We take ourselves way too seriously, and we don’t take God seriously enough. It is not by accident that humor and humility come from the same root word. If you can laugh at yourself, you’ll always have plenty of good material.”
Some people are always serious and extremely wary of doing ‘silly’ things out of fear that it might affect their ‘image’ in front of others. And if you are one of them, then you need to learn to relax and do some silly stuff from time to time.
Go out and participate in a street dance competition and let yourself loose, or dress up as your favorite superhero and roam the streets. Whatever you do, make sure that you get out of your comfort zone.
Only then can you develop a humorous side. If you live a restricted life, then you will never be able to acquire the requisite sense of humor. So, start doing and saying some silly things, and you will definitely see life through the eyes of a comedian.
“Laughter is a holy thing. It is as sacred as music and silence and solemnity, maybe more sacred. Laughter is like a prayer, like a bridge over which creatures tiptoe to meet each other. Laughter is like mercy; it heals. When you can laugh at yourself, you are free.”
Life is a joke, after all. Who knows when things all fall apart? So, why keep tight about it all? Start loosening up, and take life to be something that should be laughed at. When you are with the right people, laughing at situations becomes easier.
Laughter brings positive vibes in your life, positive vibes attract positive people, which in turn removes negativity from your life. It’s a circle – you need to get the ball rolling to change the bubble of emotions you surround yourself with.
5 Ultimate Advantages of Not Chasing Perfection
Perfection has somehow become a term we use to measure our expertise in something. Rather than focusing on learning as well as we can and as much as we can, we tend to focus on achieving perfection.
While striving for perfection isn’t wrong, because that means we expect the best from ourselves, chasing perfection surely is futile.
Because perfection isn’t exactly a measurable term, we can’t be sure if we have achieved the state of perfection. What you can call perfection when you learn something is knowing all the ins and outs of the subject matter, even then there will always be something new to learn.
“Perfection is attained by slow degrees; it requires the hand of time.”
Perfection takes time. Time is something that most of us scared to invest. You either invest your time or you elude it trying to save it. From the time we start understanding words and achievements, we are inspired to chase perfection. By the time you realize that there is no such thing as ‘perfection’ in this world, you have already wasted a lot of your learning years chasing it.
While looking for a perfect job, a perfect career, a perfect relationship, a perfect moment – we often forget to cherish the things we have or be thankful the opportunities we have been given – we end up losing what we have.
“Perfection cannot be defined or seen; it can only be found in your heart.”
Everyone has their own definition of things. Because everyone has a different perception of things, different priorities, different dreams – there is no one thing that can sound perfect to everyone – that is what makes ‘perfection’ a very relative term. What sounds perfect to one person, might not even be worth considering for someone else.
If you don’t realize that perfection is nothing but another societal norm we have been working to achieve that isn’t realistic, you will be chasing a dream nonstop with no end to it whatsoever. It is like rolling off the hill, you will only keep tumbling downwards until you reach rock bottom.
Chasing perfection also leads you to a state of analysis paralysis rendering you to inaction. Whenever there is a huge change to be made or a big risk to be taken, we tend to overthink a lot. Yes, research is important. Yes, giving enough thought to your decision is essential. The problem arises when we try to get our solution to the state of perfection. Under the pretence of working on perfecting your course of action, you somehow get stuck and are often too late to be taking any action.
You can only think about so much, you can only do so many things to ensure everything goes smoothly, you can only think about so many risks that you can counter – unless you actually get down in the water you are not going to learn how to swim is basically my point. You aren’t going to be a national level swimmer when you start and that shouldn’t be your goal either. Your goal should be getting better than you were yesterday.
Let’s talk about the impact you will have on the way you work and the way you approach things once you stop chasing perfection.
“It is reasonable to have perfection in our eye that we may always advance toward it, though we know it can never be reached.”
1. You Feel More Happiness and Gratitude
When you are in the pursuit of happiness, you often feel powerless because nothing brings satisfaction. No matter what you achieve, no matter what perks you get, no matter the heights you reach – you will always be chasing more instead of taking a moment to be thankful for what you have and be happy of the things you have managed to achieve.
Instead of being grateful for the feat you have pulled right now and giving yourself credit, you will start planning what more you do to do it better the next time. While striving to be the best isn’t wrong, not being appreciative of what you have managed to do is. When you do not give yourself credit, you start losing confidence in yourself.
When you don’t appreciate your efforts, there is no feeling of happiness or contentment to come by. You jump to your next course of action in the next heartbeat without giving yourself time to relax and cope.
“I think what is interesting in life is all the cracks and all the flaws and all the moments that are not perfect.”
But, when you stop chasing perfection, you give yourself a chance to feel happy about yourself, your work, and your efforts. Gratitude is a feeling that helps you stay humble. When you are humble, you are pleasant to work around and you don’t let your pride or ego ruin your hard work.
2. You Get an Optimistic Outlook on Life
When you let yourself bask in the positive feelings surrounding you, you create a positive bubble for your thoughts. When you are happy, your thoughts are happy. When you feel gratitude, you appreciate the things you have and the opportunities you have been given. Being thankful allows you to have an optimistic outlook on life.
When you are chasing perfection, it is somehow lost. You start finding faults in all your achievements, stopping yourself from being happy about them. This leads to negativity clouding your thoughts and as a result, you start pouring the same negativity in your life.
Letting go of negativity is one of the important steps that help in unleashing your full potential. The more negative you are, the more your mind festers in the feeling, and the more it reflects in the way you carry yourself and your work.
When you let go of the notion of perfection, you allow yourself to relax and be proud of your achievements. This action triggers positive emotions within you, helping you become optimistic toward the next stage of your life.
3. You Start Feeling More Confident
Now, that you have are happy, feel thankful for what you have, and have a positive mindset – it is natural to start feeling confidence seep into your every step. A happy mind will help you achieve a lot more than you could have ever imagined.
When chasing perfection, you never stop to look at your achievements as achievements, instead, you jump to the next stage of doing it better, getting it to perfection. This never gives you the time to analyze what you have done and derive confidence in yourself from the results.
Acknowledging your achievements is as important as learning from your failures. When you don’t give yourself time to feel good about the things you have managed to do and focus on only what you could have done better, it will eat away your self-confidence and that will take you a step back rather than a step forward.
Giving up on the notion of ‘perfection’ lets you develop confidence in yourself and your work. So, after a little wait, when you do go for betterment, you will know that you can do it and that will help you move faster toward your goal.
“If you chase perfection, you often catch excellence.”
4. You Strive to Achieve More
When you chasing perfection, you most likely are aiming too high. When you are told to take a moment to praise your own achievements, it is not only to help your pride. It also helps you learn what worked and what needs more work. When you are content enough with your current accomplishment is when you can look at it objectively to understand how to be better.
Because this thing you did gave you a positive feeling and boosted your confidence, you are more likely to feel motivated to achieve more. Setting the benchmark too high because you are hell-bent on achieving perfection makes the very thing unachievable or at the very most you feel unsatisfied even if you do end up achieving it.
You have to know your skills and your limitations when you set goals for yourself so that you can give yourself ample room to put your best foot forward. When you have realistic expectations and see real results, it pushes you to achieve more as a result.
5. You Feel Content
When you are striving to reach the stage of perfection, you let that idea hold you in its clutches. Your idea of perfection can stop you from admiring something wonderful that is present right in front of you. Chasing what is out of your reach can lead you to reach what is in your hand.
“We adore perfection because we can’t have it; it would disgust us if we had it. Perfect is inhuman because human is imperfect.”
When you let go of that perfection ideology, you free yourself from your own expectations tying you down. You start feeling content with your life and with the pace you are going. Being content with what you have, frees you from feeling pity and sympathy for yourself, giving you a boost to go ahead with all your focus. You learn to use your resources to the fullest and make the most of your circumstances.
“Perfection’ is man’s ultimate illusion. It simply doesn’t exist in the universe…. If you are a perfectionist, you are guaranteed to be a loser in whatever you do.”
-David D. Burns
Instead of chasing perfect, strive for improvement and excellence. When you focus on becoming better than you were yesterday, you automatically open doors for yourself. You surround yourself with positivity – inside and out – making it a much-needed fuel to keep working toward your goal.
Why You Should Take Control of Your Life
“The pen that writes your life story must be held in your own hand.”
-Irene C. Kassorla
What we often forget is that we are the author of our lives. Not only that, but we are also the main character of our story. So we might as well write the chapters ahead instead of waiting for someone else to write an epic turn of events.
If you aren’t happy with your life, it might be a sign that it is time to take the pen from whoever is holding it and start writing the next chapters in the book called life.
Incredible changes will come about your life when you decide that you have had enough of being a passive rider and would rather take control of what you have power over. There’s no point in dwelling over things you don’t have control over when you can put the things you can control to work.
If you don’t like the situation you are in, then the most logical thing to do is to work toward changing it rather than complaining. Once you realize that you are in control of your own life, it becomes easier to bring change to your life. The first step in taking any kind of control, over anything, is to realize that you can actually take control.
“You only have control over three things in your life – the thoughts you think, the images you visualize, and the actions you take.”
There’s this saying that all of us have heard – “Grass is greener on the other side.” Why do you think the majority of us are familiar with this saying? It is because we have been conditioned to constantly compare ourselves with everyone around us. It is supposed to motivate us in trying to improve ourselves.
What usually ends up happening is that we become demotivated. When we observe things from afar, it is easy to be blinded by the shine and not see all the polishing that was needed to bring about the shine. We compare it to the polishing we can see on our side and no shine whatsoever.
The reality is that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, it’s just us who keep comparing ourselves to others and what we have to what others have. This makes us feel sorry for ourselves and pity our situation. Most of us are insecure and unsatisfied with our current conditions and that tends to demotivate us from working toward change. We start to slip instead of trying to better our situation.
When we want what others have or what others think we should have, we give them the power to control our lives. We lose our individuality – trying to fit in – trying to shape ourselves to suit others idea of what we are supposed to be. We start wanting what we don’t have instead of appreciating what we do have.
At times like this, we should remind ourselves that there will always be something better that we’re missing. We will always think other people have it better. The irony here is that the people on the other side are most probably thinking that your grass is greener!
What this shows us is that instead of worrying about other people’s grass, we need to spend time tending to our own and trying to keep it as green as possible. Watering it, fertilizing it, and weeding the useless dead grass out.
“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.”
We are so used to someone else holding our hand while we learn to navigate through life, that we often forget that eventually, we will need to learn to walk on our own. Unless we do that, we will never be able to decide the direction we want to take. We will always have to follow the person holding our hand.
The first step you take toward independent decision making will make you realize that no one has power over you unless you give it to them. As you start deciding the course of your journey, you will see that you are in control of your life and your choices decide your own fate. Blaming others was never an answer and now you know why.
You will learn that no one is in control of your happiness but you. No one owes you a thing and you don’t owe anything to anyone. Therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change – it is your life, you don’t have to let others tell you how to live it.
“Don’t let someone else control what you do in life. It’s your decisions, your outcomes, your life.”
We are so conditioned to follow societal norms that we don’t even question it even though it isn’t making us happy. It is totally okay to choose a path that isn’t conventional. Sometimes you need to do what is best for you because YOU are the one who knows what is best for your life better than anyone else. You are not obliged to do what is best for everyone else, your biggest obligation is to yourself.
Do not mould yourself to what the world dictates, instead make your own unique mould that fits you. Breathe, meditate, and connect with yourself – it will help you be true to yourself. Because it isn’t always you against the world, most of the times it is YOU against YOURSELF. Do not compare your journey with others but only yourself.
Learn to recognize your talent and your capability – hone them and use them. Don’t chase perfection because nobody is perfect and chasing perfection is a futile activity. Every person who walks this planet has flaws. The best you can do is be true to your imperfections.
“You can influence, direct and control your own environment. You can make your life what you want it to be.”
You have to understand that if you don’t take control over your life, your life will take control over you. You have to decide to be in control because as Willie Nelson said – “Freedom is control in your own life.”
Although it isn’t possible to have complete control over life, you certainly can shape and influence it. One of the ways is to take control of your habits. Your habits help you shape your future. You become what you are because of all the choices you have made till date and the choices you will continue to make – both conscious and subconscious.
While you do not have complete control over your life, you do have complete control over your attitude and your effort – these two things hold a lot of power when it comes to taking lead and paving the path.
“Control your thoughts. Decide about that which you will think and concentrate upon. You are in charge of your life to the degree you take charge of your thoughts.”
To make any kind of change in your life, to make any significant decision, you need to be in tune with your mind. Whatever consumes your mind and your thoughts will control your life. Don’t let negativity make a home in your mind – take control of your consistent emotions, your emotional wellbeing, and your dominating emotional state. Because the emotion that dominates your mind – whether positive or negative – will consciously and deliberately reshape your life, both in the long term and in terms of your daily experiences.
How Influencer Marketing Helps You Put Your Business on the Map
3 Things You Can Do to Make Humor a Habit
7 Steps to Make Your Dreams See the Light of the Day
5 Ultimate Advantages of Not Chasing Perfection
Why You Should Take Control of Your Life
8 Misconceptions About Remote Working That Are Holding Back Your Business
51 Lucrative Ways to Make Money From Home
Tips for Surviving Your Twenties
19 Steps to Have a Great Stress-Free Video Interview
Why Do We Need Measurable Goals?
Mindfulness6 months ago
Why I Took a Break From Facebook
Productivity7 months ago
7 Ways To Increase Productivity At Work
Quotes7 months ago
27 of the Most Powerful Quotes of All Time
Entrepreneurs6 months ago
1Password Review – The Best Password Manager Out There
Productivity6 months ago
Things 3 Review – A To-Do App That Works
Goals2 months ago
The Ultimate Guide to Goal Setting
Productivity7 months ago
You Don’t Need To Be Busy To Be Productive
Goals7 months ago
How Setting Realistic Goals Can Actually Help You Achieve Them