When it comes to self-development for men, the word ‘alpha’ gets thrown around a lot. An alpha mostly refers to the top-most male in a group, the successful one. And becoming an alpha is essentially a process of transforming oneself into a state where you are naturally seen as the ‘best among men’. To help you out in your quest to become an alpha, I list below six simple tips.
1. Confidence, Not Arrogance
Many people tend to confuse being confident as being arrogant when it comes to the topic of alpha behavior. Though it is a false notion, it is understandable why people may think this way. The main reason is that being an alpha is equated with aggressiveness.
And someone who is aggressive also tends to be quite arrogant; always trying to dominate every person and treating others as if they are beneath them. While this can also be called alpha behavior, there is a big difference between an arrogant alpha and a confident alpha.
An arrogant alpha will never get respect from other people. And even if they manage to get any respect, it will fade away as people get fed up with their arrogant ways. In contrast, a confident alpha evokes respect from others. In fact, people will, out of their own free will, choose to follow a confident alpha. And it is this type of alpha that you must aim to become – the confident one, not the arrogant one.
2. Physical Appearance
First, let us be clear about one thing – alpha behavior is not directly linked to your physical appearance like being tall and well built. After all, some of the biggest conquerors in the world, like Alexander, Genghis Khan, and Napoleon, were all pretty average looking people with average or less than average height. Having said that, we must also face the reality that having a good physical appearance does help to cement in your alpha status.
Your height is not something you can improve, but your body is. So, if you have an average body with a slight potbelly, then it is time that you start working on it. Dedicate a few months to intense workouts and diet regimen, and you will be in the best of shape. As a result, you may find that you have a far easier time asserting your ‘alphaness’ than previously. Being in the best shape gives you the confidence to carry yourself with more poise because you feel good about yourself.
3. Body Language
If there is one thing that will scream an alpha attitude, it is your body language. The power of an alpha body language is such that you don’t even have to say a single word for people to perceive you as an alpha. You might even have come across such people in your life – men who just walk into a room and easily get everyone to talk to them with respect even though they themselves haven’t uttered a single word.
Unlike building a muscular body, developing an alpha body language is a far more difficult task. This is mostly because body language works on the subconscious level. Even if you try to fake an alpha body language, your real behavior and attitude will inevitably seep through at some point and reveal to others that you were only faking being an alpha. So, it is better to try and invest some time in developing an alpha body language. By doing so, all your actions will naturally have a sign of ‘alphaness’.
4. Must Have Vast Knowledge
There is a kind of alpha who gains immense respect – the one that knows everything. Such people are almost walking encyclopedias, knowing everything. If you ask them about quantum physics, the best way of cooking chicken, or the right way to install an Android update; they will always have an answer. And the people around them inevitably see them with a certain kind of respect.
So, if you are not the type of guy who likes to spend hours at the gym but is more interested in learning about new things, then this is perfect for you. Read on whatever topics interest you, research them fully, and develop a deep understanding of everything you wish to know. The knowledge you accumulate, over the years, will eventually become the key to being an alpha.
5. Be Completely Self-Reliant
You must also learn to be self-reliant. This does not mean that you never seek out the help of another person. That is just ridiculously impossible in this world. Being self-reliant essentially means that you are capable of handling most of your affairs by yourself. If you observe alpha people, you will see that they mostly never depend on other people to perform their tasks. Instead, those who are alpha do everything by themselves.
And by doing so, they project a kind of independence that people will admire. After all, people who are perceived as independent will inevitably gain more respect than those who are seen as dependent. As such, it is essential that you start becoming a more self-reliant human being rather than depending on other people.
6. Develop Leadership Skills
A big characteristic of being an alpha is leadership skills. This is why army generals, business CEOs, political leaders, etc. are always treated by people with a sense of respect. As such, it is imperative that you also develop your leadership skills. If you have been shying away from taking positions of power, then you must overcome that hurdle.
When the next opportunity of being a leader comes your way, accept it and try to do a good job. The first few times might be rough and you may even turn out to be inefficient. But slowly, with experience, you will start to see what it takes to lead and what qualities you must develop and exhibit in order to make people follow you.
When you have naturally entered into such a mindset, you will have developed a strong alpha attitude. You won’t be running away from leadership responsibilities anymore. Instead, you will search for them and naturally position yourself as an alpha.
5 Tips to Help You Stick to Your Goals And Double Your Success Rate
Everyone wants to achieve their goals, however, very few put in the effort to actually make this a reality. And even among those who do put in the required effort, chances of attaining the goal tend to be pretty slim. Set realistic goals to begin with because when you set unrealistic goals, you are already setting yourself up for failure.
We think we need to work more to achieve our goals but what we need to do is find ways to be productive and achieve more in less time in a given day. There are many ways to make sure that you are being productive but that falls apart if you don’t know how to stick to your goals. So, to ensure that you stick to your goals and triple your chances of succeeding in the venture, you need to abide by the following tips:
1. Divide Big Goals Into Smaller Ones
A good tactic you should start using is to divide your big goals into smaller ones. For this, you need to find out the course of action you must take in order to achieve those smaller goals. For example, suppose that you are a student whose main goal is to perform well in an entrance test coming up in two months.
Now, the first thing you should do is to break the big task into smaller targets. Since there are two months to the test, you can set up weekly targets. If there are 7 modules you need to learn, then you can assign one week to learn one module. And the last week can be set aside to revise and refresh your knowledge. Make sure to finish all modules on time and to test yourself each week to assess your retention of that specific subject. This process of learning will surely help you far more than trying to learn all the 7 modules in a haphazard way.
This example demonstrates how you can split your big goal, which is preparing for the entrance test, into smaller goals where you finished learning a section every week. And by doing so, you were able to learn everything and be ready for the entrance test comfortably.
People usually have difficulty in managing a big goal. However, with a smaller goal, which they think is doable, people can achieve better with a bit of an effort. Turning a big goal into a series of smaller goals, and writing your goals down, will not only help you stick to your goals but also to achieve them successfully.
2. Create Beneficial Habits
It is also important to create habits that will help you attain your goals. These habits have to be developed by identifying the various ways which will be used to achieve the end goal. Carrying the previous example forward, you will now have to dedicate a fixed amount of time each day preparing for the test.
As such, you will have to decide the best time slots for your studies. Once decided, you need to ensure that you follow the said plan accurately. And for this, you need to attune yourself to the time slots. So, if the time is set at 8 AM, and you usually only wake up at 10 AM, then you need to immediately consider adjusting your sleep cycle so that you wake up at 8 AM and are ready to study.
Similarly, if your aim is to improve your productivity at office, then you may have to accept and embrace habits like waking up early to exercise as it helps to ensure a fully-charged body for the entire day. So, whatever your goal, just make sure that you incorporate and develop a few habits to achieve your tasks as a part of your plan.
3. Commitment and Accountability
A good method to help you stick to your goal is to commit to another individual who will make you accountable for it. For example, imagine that you are an overweight person and wish to shed about 30kgs. You draw up a 6-month diet and exercise plan with monthly targets that define the process.
The next thing you should do is to get in touch with a very close person, a friend or relative, and share the goal you have set for yourself. For example, you can disclose the plan with your brother coupled with the condition that you will pay 20% of your part-time income to him if you fail to meet the target. The prospect of failing in front of your brother and the loss of your income will act as a good motivation for you to try and meet the set goals.
4. Behavior Substitution
At times, your goal may require you to change certain behavioral patterns. Under such circumstances, you may have to substitute such behaviors with good alternatives to ensure that you are able to proceed toward achieving your goal. Let’s suppose that there is a 1.5 km race being conducted in your community and you wish to place a position in the top 3 but your weight is an issue for you.
Now, you may have a habit of overeating which results in excess weight. This is something that you must try to control to be in perfect shape for the race. But cutting down your eating can be difficult. So, what do you do? Look to substitute that behavior with something that causes the least negative impact on your goal. For the purpose of this example, you can replace high calorie foods with low calorie ones. By doing so, you will be in a better position to achieve your goal.
5. Join a Community
Finally, try joining a community that shares interests and goals similar to yours. If you try to fulfill a goal by yourself, you might find it difficult to stick with the plan and this will eventually impact your success. However, if you make it a group activity, then there is a better chance that you might actually end up achieving the goal. This is also for accountability and commitment.
For example, if you wish to study Spanish, you might find it difficult to study the language on your own. However, if you join an online study group that conducts weekly learning lessons, then you have a fighting chance of fulfilling your goal. So, find a supportive community that focuses on the subject of your goal and become a member.
Having big goals can be intimidating but do not run from it. Find ways to face it. Find ways to make the huge tasks manageable, seek support from people you know or people who are in the field, get tips from people who have done it – either succeeded or failed in it. Learn as much as you can, set rewards for yourself and keep yourself motivated. Keep going, stick to your goals, and do not give up.
Qualities of Humorous People that Give Huge Benefits in Life
We have all heard the saying that, “Laughter is the best medicine.” In a lot of ways, it is true and learning how to laugh at slip-ups in your life is a great way of not letting things affect you with greater gravity. Learning to laugh at yourselves will help you through hard times. It becomes easier to deal with dire situations if you can make light of it.
“Cancer is probably the unfunniest thing in the world, but I’m a comedian, and even cancer couldn’t stop me from seeing the humor in what I went through.”
When you are a positive person, it becomes easier to find humor in situations, but then again there is dark humor too. Humor, as a quality, can make people very likable and they tend to have good chances at cultivating relationships as everyone is attracted to people they can laugh with.
Qualities Of Humorous People
Ever had a funny friend or co-worker who brightened up every occasion with their funny stories and anecdotes? If so, you would have wondered how they are the way they are. Let’s take a look at three common attributes of humorous people.
Joke About Themselves
The first thing that you will notice about humorous people is that they are capable of joking about themselves. They usually make fun of the things they do and make others laugh along with them.
For example, they might share a funny incident that normal people will think twice of sharing because of how embarrassing it sounds. But they put it across in a nice, cheerful way that you cannot help but laugh. However, do not confuse them with low self-esteem people. Those who have low self-esteem might also make fun of themselves.
“If you would not be laughed at, be the first to laugh at yourself.”
But their jokes usually make people pity them. Instead, self-directed jokes of a humorous person will make him a star among the people around him. And this mostly has to do with the confidence and enthusiasm with which they deliver the jokes. Comic timing and delivery are something to wrap your head around if you plan on studying humor.
Diffuse a Tense Situation
People with a good sense of humor have a great ability to diffuse tense situations. No matter how heated the atmosphere becomes, whether at home or work, even if it involves them or not, funny people can easily infuse humor into the situation and bring everyone back to their senses.
Sometimes there is no point in arguing and to stop things from going south, humor proves to be most effective. It also gives you a way to point out something dicey in a manner that is less offensive, hence negating a chance of bitter confrontation.
Humorous people are known to be a magnet that attracts others around them. After all, who doesn’t like to be in the company of someone who can make you laugh all day? They will have a wide circle of friends.
This applies to family, friends and all sorts of relationships – from the neighborhood barber and the grocery guy to a potential love interest and clients.
And no matter where they go, to the office or a supermarket or even a police station, they are talented at making all types of people comfortable around them.
Humor And It’s Hearty Benefits
Now that we have talked about the qualities of humorous people, it is only natural to move onto the benefits of those qualities. How many times have you heard that networking is a great way to build your business? Do you not think that the ability to make people laugh, get them comfortable around you, and in general vibe with you helps? A quality that makes you a people magnet is always a plus. Here are some other benefits that affect them personally and makes their life better.
Humor positively affects your health – both physically and psychologically. On the physical side of things, humor is said to relieve muscle tension. This effect is even more pronounced when a person has a hearty laugh.
People suffering from spasms and neurological problems can ease their tensed muscles with a good dose of laughter in their lives. Humor also boosts your immune system. In fact, people have been found to have a better immune system after watching comedy videos.
Yup, Jim Carrey can sometimes help you more than your doc.
Immunoglobulin A, which protects your body from respiratory issues, has been observed to increase after watching humorous videos for about 30 minutes or an hour. On the Psychological front, humor is the best way to beat stress.
“I have not seen anyone dying of laughter, but I know millions who are dying because they are not laughing.”
-Dr. Madan Kataria
Have a fun time with friends or watch a comedy whenever you feel stressed out, and your mind will immediately relax. Your stress levels will reduce and your nerves would have calmed down after a good laugh.
If you want to make your relationships stronger and endearing, then humor is your secret weapon. Whether it is dealing with your spouse, children, or friends, humor will definitely give you an edge and make them feel more connected with you.
For example, imagine that you and your girlfriend have a heated argument about something. Instead of indulging yourself in some ego play, try to bring humor into the situation and let the other person see the funny side of your conflict.
All is forgiven over a good laugh. This can easily smooth out disagreements; avoiding chances that the argument might blow up into a disastrous breakup.
In the same way, if your children misbehave, then don’t be angry at them. Instead, convey the message in a firm, but humorous way. Doing so is far likelier to get them to comply with your demands. If you had approached them angrily, then they might have rebelled against your authority.
There will be such complicated emotional situations in all kinds of relationship throughout your life, right from childhood to old age. With humor, you can prevail over them without denting the relationships one bit.
Those who possess incredible humor can easily be popular at their jobs than those who idly sit by their desk all day. This is because everyone likes to be around a person with good humor sense. Who doesn’t mind a good laugh? In fact, if you are put in a position of responsibility, with employees under your management, then humor can become a potent tool to run the team.
For example, if your team does something wrong, and you need to address it, then instead of coming off as completely unemotional and authoritative, try mixing in some humor along with the talk. This will lighten the mood while ensuring that your message gets across.
Humor is a great way to inculcate positive vibes in your life. If you don’t have the quick wits that you so admire, there are ways to learn to be more humorous. With practice, you can learn to be anything and do anything. Apart from you yourself delving in the genre, surround yourself with laughter too. Go to comedy shows, watch them online, read funny books, share funny anecdotes. Don’t be shy when laughing at yourself. When you learn not to be embarrassed about things, you feel liberated. Enjoy the feeling!
“And keep a sense of humor. It doesn’t mean you have to tell jokes. If you can’t think of anything else, when you’re my age, take off your clothes and walk in front of a mirror. I guarantee you’ll get a laugh.”
The Ultimate Guide to Goal Setting
Whenever you have to step out of your comfort zone, finding reasons not to is a natural response. Learn to fight that. You either find a reason to do the job or an excuse for not doing it.
Get obsessed, totally obsessed. There is no just liking what you do, get obsessed with it. Stand up and do what you want! Don’t be lazy! Don’t hesitate! Don’t let fear stop you from achieving your goals! Life is what you make of it – might sound cliche, but this is the ultimate truth.
Because in the end, the worst regrets are of things you didn’t do, experiences you didn’t have, and chances you didn’t take. Let go of people, things, situations, and habits that hold you back.
“Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.”
– Tony Robbins
Now, arises the question- how to set a goal? You might be at a juncture in life where you feel you’ve achieved everything, so there are no more goals to attain. But there’s always more to achieve. Wouldn’t you feel charged up when you have something concrete to accomplish?
Or, you might fall in the league of underachievers- people riddled with self-doubt, who are not expected to achieve much- floating through life directionless, rudderless? If so, it’s time to surprise everyone, including you.
Are you afraid of setting a goal for yourself? Are you setting yourself for disappointment and guilt? It’s not so. Life gives us umpteen chances to change; every day is a new opportunity. Goals can be changed and realigned. Here’s the ultimate guide to setting a goal that will help you live the life you want.
Set a Goal That YOU Really Want
All our lives, we are conditioned to make sacrifices, to take into account the wishes of those who are close to us, to be considerate. Thinking about what you want is considered selfish. Some people don’t even have the liberty to choose their college major because their parents choose it for them. This results in people not being happy with their lives. Most people go through life not realizing that they hold the key to change in their hands.
Again we come to the point about self-realization. Eliminate what’s not important from your goal list. Experiment with different goals to find the ones that make you happy. Prioritize goals based on their importance in your life. Then, pick the top goal, determine its timeline and action plan. Voila, you have your goal!
Make Small, Iterative Goals
Big goals can be intimidating and have the power to have an adverse effect on you. Do not stop yourself from setting big goals. Instead, push yourself to set bigger and difficult goals but break it down into workable chunks. This makes the big thing not look that huge, and gives you an achievable viewpoint to conquering the said goal.
“Most impossible goals can be met simply by breaking them down into bite size chunks, writing them down, believing them and going full speed ahead as if they were routine.”
Instead of making yearly resolutions, have a monthly goal and revise it for the next month. For instance, target to lose 5 pounds in a month. Work hard to achieve this and once you have your strategy spot-on, iterate to a larger goal for the next month.
Share Your Goals
Confess your goals to people you trust. Beware, telling the wrong people about your ambitious plans can act as a deterrent in reaching your goal. They will criticize or pull you down if you waver or fail, demotivating you. Your well-wishers will support you completely, gently remind you if you get diverted, and empathize if you are unable to attain your goal.
This also helps because people will help you hold yourself accountable to your goals while this also gives you an opportunity to find people with goals similar to yours.
Savor the Journey
“You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.”
Goals should not become an albatross around your neck. They should not overwhelm you. The key to enjoying your journey towards your goal is to set SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely) goals.
Enjoy the fruits of your success. You need not be too critical of yourself. At the same time, don’t cut yourself too much slack. Set short-term goals, pat your back when you achieve them, strive for a bigger goal, and reward yourself, even more, when you reach the touchpoint.
Keep Yourself on Track
When the temptation to procrastinate or to abandon your goal strikes, ask yourself some hard questions. Find out why you’re pulling back from the goal. If there’s an actionable way to solve the problem, take action. Even if you can’t find any answers, find a way to remain on track. While it’s okay to take a breather when you feel down and out, too much of a break can lead to complete delineation from your goal and you’ll find yourself back from where you started.
Think positively about your goals. It’s not entirely a falsity that when you visualize vividly about something, the whole universe starts conspiring to make it possible. Self affirmation primes you for success.
Measure Your Success
Find ways of measuring your success. This is easier said than done. For goals that equate to emotional, social or psychological success, it becomes quite hard to calibrate how far you’ve reached. If you’re generally satisfied with results, you can term your goal setting exercise a winner.
View Failure as Opportunity
The final piece of advice is to view setbacks as learning opportunities. You need to learn to change your mindset if you see failure as an end. Failure is very important for us to grow. It gives us experiences and lessons that cannot be learned in any other way.
When you fail, you need to get back up, dust yourself, and keep going. Assess what went wrong and why, then restructure your strategy, and start afresh. Failure is nothing but success turned inside out. It will humble you and make you stronger.
Give yourself a chance to explore your talents and achieve what you have always wanted. Have a goal. Have a plan. Have difficult targets. It’s okay if you fail – what isn’t okay is giving up because you failed once. Stop trying to find reasons for not doing something, instead start looking for reasons to do it.
Excuses are cowards way out – they are the reason you stay in your comfort zone forever. They give you a false sense of security. Life is an adventure. Live like it.
“The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.”
5 Tips to Help You Stick to Your Goals And Double Your Success Rate
Qualities of Humorous People that Give Huge Benefits in Life
How Making Decisions Using the 10/10/10 Method Can Change Your Life
The Ultimate Guide to Goal Setting
5 Reasons to Set Goals If You Want to Succeed
5 Essential Ways to Thrive in a Fast-Changing World
7 Tips to Recreate Your Life In 3 Months and Change Your Destiny
How Can Procrastination Make Your Work Better
5 Things to Focus On if You Want to be Successful
How to Use Your Calendar to Increase Productivity and Achieve Big Goals
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