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Motivation

Why Chasing Your Dreams is a Scary Concept and Why You Need to Do it Anyway

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Why Chasing Your Dreams is a Scary Concept and Why You Need to Do it Anyway

A few years ago, a steady 9-to-5 job used to be the dream. We were all taught to aim for that, to have a goal to get a good job that can provide you with financial stability. You pursued education with the end goal of getting a job. Took personal loans, studied hard, worked while you studied to get by, got a job, kept working to pay the debt off, then continued working on getting yourself by – maybe get a car, a house – this was all we knew.

Starting your own business was risky, few people attempted it. It took a lot more commitment than just working for someone else. All of us heard this phrase – “Build your own dreams, or else someone else will hire you to build theirs” – it hit us at times, but we didn’t dare to chase our dreams because we had responsibilities and also debts to pay off.

Why Chasing Your Dreams is a Scary Concept and Why You Need to Do it Anyway

So many people stayed in their jobs telling themselves that they will soon start out with their own venture, they just needed to pay their debt off and save some money as a financial cushion for themselves. But, the problem here is that once you get used to getting a stable paycheck, it becomes difficult to get on a road that is full of uncertainty and doesn’t even guarantee that you are going to get a paycheck in the initial few months.

Bill Gates, the wealthiest man in the world, was a college drop, who has about a million engineers working under him. Stories like his, people like him, are thrown around as examples a lot. What people often don’t see behind all the success is that success doesn’t come easy. You don’t achieve your goals just because you were lucky. 

You either have a goal for yourself, or it is someone else’s plan you’ll be a part of. If you don’t work on building your dream, then it is evident that someone will hire you to build theirs, and that is the reality – that is how the world works. Many people who have dreams other than their jobs, try to convince themselves that this is not the case, but this is precisely what is happening. Inaction will get you nowhere even if you have a bucket full of luck showered over you.

Why Chasing Your Dreams is a Scary Concept and Why You Need to Do it Anyway

You need to have a vision, and you need to have goals to turn your vision into reality. There is no point wearing yourself out in a 9-to-5 job, even if it pays you well enough if you are not happy. You need to find a job which inspires you, helps you grow. You need to focus on something that will add value to your life and vision. There is nothing wrong with helping other people to live their dream – there is a difference in willingly helping someone with their goals – but it should never be at the expense of your own vision.

We may be interested in a lot of things, and we may even do it according to our convenience. But commitment is what is required to pull ourselves out of the comfort zone. The struggle of getting out of the comfort zone is what tangles many people, and you have to detangle yourself, learn to fight the feeling, and do things anyway.

Now is the best time to start; it is as good as any. Leaving behind your unfulfilling life might seem like a distant dream, but it is on you to make it happen. To live the life of abundance, you need to start from the beginning – start from a dream. Before any idea can come true, it must first be imagined – the seed needs to be planted. 

Why Chasing Your Dreams is a Scary Concept and Why You Need to Do it Anyway

Take time to dream. Think about your goals. Consider how your skills can help you and what you are talented in, explore your thoughts. The thinking should go on till you get obsessed with it because liking what you do isn’t enough. Obsession is the main driving force that will make you get up and run toward your goal – that is the fuel that drives people who dare start a venture.

People who have achieved laurels in different fields – regardless of all the obstacles – irrespective of their injuries, disabilities, low-income conditions, marriage bonds, or conservative families issues – become examples to people who dare to walk a path different from others. This is your life. You and only you get to decide what you want to do with it; you can’t rely on someone else for your happiness – this is something that more people are starting to realize.

When you learn that you can’t blame someone else for your failures; you can’t hide behind people as a reason for your inaction – change starts to happen. Society will tell you all kinds of things, force you into decisions, but it’s YOU in the end who makes the decision. 

If you have a dream – a dream that excites you, scares you, makes you feel giddy, makes you feel alive – then you have a mission in life. Your mission is to make that dream come true. But if you are letting a bunch of excuses come in your way, you are sabotaging your dream. The only thing standing between you and your dream is ironically YOU.

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”

– Paulo Coelho

With the start of every new endeavour, there are many obstacles that you have to cross on the way. People are going to shun you, mock you, criticize you for many of your decisions because there is a cultural norm of following the same societal rules and it baffles people when you think outside the box. 

Society has always tried to make everyone fit into this one homogeneous frame. Those who manage to be like everyone else are appreciated – which is why we pretend. But sometimes, most times, people don’t fit in, they just can’t fit in no matter how much they try.

Why Chasing Your Dreams is a Scary Concept and Why You Need to Do it Anyway

People are scared, they don’t know any different, so they will scoff at your ideas, they will tell you it is not worth it, but you have to trust yourself and not be fooled by these judgemental people who try to make you doubt yourself. They might not always be coming from a wrong place, it might be out of concern, but taking risks is not something everyone can wrap their heads around.

People who decide to do something different from others are looked down upon. People, who feel the need to judge and criticize others, have one thing in common: in order to feel better about themselves, they need to knock others that aren’t like them down. They see you doing what they wish they dared to do – something to get out of a life they don’t want to be living. So they will attack you in every possible way until you feel miserable about the path you are walking on, about the need to do something for yourself. 

“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.”

– Harriet Tubman

You have to stand firm. Don’t let anyone convince you that you aren’t capable enough to achieve success, to make your dreams come true. Believe that everything is possible, however impossible it may seem initially. The magic ingredient here is you believing in yourself when everyone refuses to believe you. The universe is continuously testing you to see if you are really serious about pursuing your dreams. Being stubborn, not quitting, and moving forward is what is needed to go after what you want.

“Don’t let small brains convince you that your dreams are too big.”

Motivation

Why it is Hard to Stay Motivated

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motivation

Change is the only constant.

How many times have we heard this in our lives? 

Do you realize this is not merely a saying but an experience every individual goes through multiple times during his entire life?

None of us know what the next second has in store for us. Right now you may be elated and you might find yourself in complete folds the next hour.

Relatable?

Well, these are the times when you need to chomp in a well-prepared meal.

No no, not your regular food, this meal has special ingredients which when cooked together, give you the dish called ‘motivation’.

It is extremely important to sense when our morale starts losing for if not paid attention to, it can turn into a habit and you might find yourself quite comfortable.

To be able to pull yourself out of lethargy, an understanding of what motivation actually is should be taken into consideration.

When defined, motivation is the power that activates the engine of success and moves you to act. It is not some external drive but comes from within and is very much related to your ambitions and desires in life.

Keep reminding yourself that this is a recurring process, you’ll have to be your own source of encouragement every day, sometimes even more than once a day.

Easier said than done right?

 I am aware.

However, a strong and logical mind is sure to overrule your emotions. After all, you are not your mind but much beyond that.

To be content and motive-driven, you need to have clarity. Like I mentioned above, a strong mind has control over your emotions and will help you keep track of your visions and goals. It is usually easy to get distracted by external factors but if you are sure enough of what you want ahead, nothing can come in your way.

Let’s see some things that you could do when you feel like there’s not much productivity flowing out :

  • The foremost thing is to stop and take deep breaths. A calm and relaxed mind is capable of viewing different point of views of the same situation. A moment of panic is sure to push you away and impact your ability to work.
  • After you find yourself quiet, drink two sips of water to give fuel to the brain.
  • Now, look closely at what you have in hand. An assignment to finish before the deadline? An examination to prepare for, due the day after? A project you just stepped into? Well, the list obviously is endless.
  • Having the work outline made, sit and divide it into smaller tasks, hence now you have shorter goals which are comparatively easier to achieve.
  • When a 4-5 hour project is broken down into sets of half an hour each, after the completion of every 0.5 hours there will be a sense of contentment and pride. The satisfaction thus attained will be far greater than anything else.

Now, this was just a little glimpse of what can be done or something that I usually adhere to. However, is this the only standard procedure? 

No.

Every individual is different and has his own psychological being. For some, a pep-talk would do wonders while for others just a 10-15 minute alone time is enough to get back to normal.

Therefore, don’t try to follow any steps mechanically. See various things, read about various things, and in the end, come up with different permutations and combinations that suit the best for you.

Enough of how to get motivated and why to get motivated. Let’s step into the deeper issue – ‘Not being able to work and to not be productive does not mean I am any less serious about my career. I am not making excuses just so that I can get off of responsibilities easily. Why does no one believe when I say this?’

The thoughts that we ponder over every time we are hit by a wave of disinterest. The problem is not anybody not believing you, the setback is of how society isn’t accepting of low workload times.

The pressure of watching every other person excel and hear stories of how people work 36 hours a day, has made this the notion of how one should approach his professional background.

The fear of not being able to report in time and the stress of being a few steps behind others always is daunting our subconsciousness. It’s high time we as individuals accept that this is what it is and it’s completely okay to be not okay somedays.

Embracing your own shortcomings will give you the courage to stand by yourself and fall back into action with double the motivation and power.

You know that these aren’t mere excuses, you know your mindset at that point in time and you know that you will give anything and everything to not be in this position and this is all that matters.

A sense of belief and confidence will automatically provide a boost and you’ll see yourself springing into ideas and creative techniques to give shape to the same project.

Hence, two things are the highlight of your gloomy days – One, that targets smaller goals to reach the bigger goal in less time and with less stress. Two, to accept and face the fact that you will have no willpower one day and it’s okay but at the same time knowing that you have to get back on your feet the next day.

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Habits

How Reading can impact your Day to Day Life?

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Reading is a healthy habit, which, if practiced daily, can change your entire life around. Do you want to know why? Through Reading, one can not only gain knowledge but also stay acquainted with the outside as well as the inside world. The best thing about reading daily is to have an isolated place for yourself in your mind, where you can run off to. Most people don’t have the patience or intention to read, and that too, daily. Though this is a habit that takes time to settle in but trust me, once it does, you would never regret it. So, here is a list of reasons why you should read daily?

Why should you read daily?

  • To gain knowledge

Once you start reading daily, and by Reading, it can be anything – you can read few pages of a novel, or a magazine, or newspaper, or even poetry – you would notice within weeks how much your knowledge regarding the outer world has improved. Through Reading, one can have clear information regarding the current affairs, and hence, stay updated.

  • To improve your vocabulary

Through Reading, you can definitely learn new words and hence, improve your vocabulary. Most people make it a habit to learn a new word from the dictionary every day, but if you read daily, you are bound to get new words and make a list of them on a notebook with their meanings, which is definitely going to be helpful for you.

  • To have a make-believe world

The most beautiful consequence of Reading is having one’s own imaginary world, where one can live a life full of magic. This is the extraordinary superpower one acquires while reading. In this busy daily life of ours, we all look for a secluded place where we can feel the essence of peace. Reading can fly you off to the imaginary land of sunflowers, daisies, and cats who can indeed talk.

  • To become more attentive

Most people lack patience nowadays. Being impatient and restless has become a severe problem in today’s world. Here, Reading can help you calm your mind and improve your observation skills. It works like meditation. In no time, you would find your mind focusing on details and becoming more attentive to events, which used to go unnoticed.

  • To reduce stress

Reading is similar to meditation, and hence, it definitely helps to reduce your stress. Books always have a calming effect on one’s mind. It takes you away from daily problems and stressful situations and helps your mind to gain stability. Not only it helps in reducing stress, but it also helps to decrease the anxiety levels of a person. 

Everyone should make reading a daily habit. One should switch off the mobile phones, turn off the television and take some time out to read. It works wonders on one’s day-to-day life and changes one person’s entire personality. Though it can be hard at first, with time, you would cherish the moments alone, reading in a corner while your mind is flying off to Narnia.

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Motivation

Is this Shoe the Right Fit: Gender Stereotyping in Fairytale through Cinderella

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Growing up the first source of literature, children are exposed to are fairytales. These stories are read to them by parents as bedtime stories or watched by them on television. These stories are great influencers on a child’s’ mind, and therefore start conforming to its stereotyping, especially gender. Fairytales truly do educate and instill in children’s morality, but children get accustomed to the fairytales and thus begin to identify with the character in the story. The stereotypes in fairytales concern both genders and lay their roles out for them, but at large, the stereotypes are targeted at women. 

One of the biggest and widely spread fairytales is “Cinderella” and as a child one watches her beautiful transformation, her damsel in distress moment, her prince charming who saves her and with everything going on in her life still being the ‘kindest soul’. There are about a thousand various versions of Cinderella, and also different movie adaptation, one of the famous one is by Disney. This fairytale has portrayed so many genders stereotyping that as a child one doesn’t realise but going back to the text, the stereotyping seems a little too evident. 

These stories nearly always start with the phrase “once upon a time”. Cinderella was no exception, her story was once upon a time. It revolved around the tragedies in her life with her mother passing away to, father remarrying, treatment by her step-family, and finally meeting the prince who rescues her. These stereotyping are witnessed in stories depicting the higher class and hence talks about the consumption market of the same. The story is said to inspire girls to behave ladylike even if you are not born into nobility. Someday such beauty and grace, not just physical, will get them their prince. Which, will further give them approval from society on their shift from a girl to a lady. Taking the abuse pushed on her by her family instilling the idea of female leads being submissive in nature and continuously requiring help and support from various characters in the story. To have something good, one needs to face hardships in life; this concept is portrayed in the idea by depicting Cinderella as a servant, who is abused and works hard to please people. The prince saves Cinderella, and intern becomes the writer of her destiny. Cinderella further depicted as a perfect template on how to be a proper lady 101. As she doesn’t argue nor talkback makes her the ideal woman. 

As far as beauty is concerned, Cinderella is described as a beautiful woman with her feminine features and wearing a stunning gown to the ball makes her even more attractive. This has been propaganda sold to girls at a very young age that she doesn’t need to sound intelligent as the prince in Cinderella did not care about her intelligence instead only cared for her beauty. This ideology is even seen today where people tell girls they need to ‘dress to impress’, that the only way to grab a man’s attention is by looking ‘beautiful’ adhering to society’s definition of beautiful. The society’s interpretation is influenced by Cinderella and various other fairytales. Who has sold the idea of a small waist, fair and clear-skinned, having her hair always almost perfect – has made girls feel insecure about their body and physical appearance. Due to the obsession of having a smaller waist leads to a lot of girls developing bad eating habits and trying to obtain fair and glowing skin. 

The prince in the story is a strong character who is portrayed as a rescuer and knight in shining armour who comes in and rescues Cinderella from her miserable life and showcases that the whole story revolves to lead to this moment. Cinderella also had to prove her identity to the prince who did not recognise her. 

The love story between the two main characters – Cinderella and Prince Charming seems utterly unreal and cringe-worthy. Love termed here is physical attraction and no interaction to know each other’s personality. Adding to the standard of beauty is applied to boy’s as well. They have to look a sure way to meet the standard of being ‘handsome’. Further, the knight in shining armour syndrome makes boys believe that they are entitled to rescue girls and marry girls based on their look. They think that they need to look for a girl who will take care of the house and not talk back, which leads to a biased society where females and males are conformed to stereotypes. This further makes children believe that marriage is the end goal. 

Cinderella is just one classic fairytale that is discussed and portrays gender stereotypes, but other stories like Sleeping Beauty, snow-white, Rapunzel to formulate stereotypes. As Cinderella is famous and is one of the widely read novels, it made sense to use that as a platform to prove that fairytales are a source of gender stereotypes. There has been a surge in positive and unbiased fairytales and children’s movies such as Shrek, Mulan, Frozen, Brave to name a few but none the less the other stories still exist and propagated to children widely. 

Final Thoughts 

The end of the story is, do we really want children to have unrealistic standards on gender and beauty, and do we want them to believe that vulnerable and weak women are the only ones who grab men’s attention. If we need to formulate change, we need to start with fairytales. Being a fairytale fan myself I don’t mean to say scrap out fairytales all together, fairytales are an essential source of literature that shouldn’t be taken away from children. What we might think about doing is change the stories, portray roles of men and women as strong characters, who value equality and that stereotyping has to take leave from Fairytales. 

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