Everyone wants to be successful. Different people have different criteria for success. While some pine for fame, others prefer wealth; they’re those who want to be respected above all else, and then there are people who define success as the peace of mind and ability to be free.
However you define success, dreaming about it and reaching that pedestal are two different things. What separates them is actually just one simple thing – the willingness to change one’s behavior and thought process. You must first admit that you are where you are right now because of the choices you’ve thus far made in life.
Like Marshall Goldsmith, the famous leadership thinker put it, “What got you here, won’t get you there.” He actually wrote a whole book on that. So, if you need to achieve that lofty goal, you need to get your thoughts in place, redefine mental models and pick up your act. Success is a result of choices. So, start choosing good from now on.
People who remain stuck with negative behaviors will never be a success and are destined to only dream of it. But those who are willing to learn about and understand where they go wrong and are open to modifying them, will always be on the path to success. It’s just a matter of time for these folks. Consistency is the key to success in whatever you want to achieve.
And if you are such a person (of course you are, why else would you be reading this) who is willing to change themselves to be successful, understand the mechanics of success, whether in your career or personal life, then you have to give up the negative attitudes mentioned below.
1. Don’t Be Afraid of Your Abilities
“There are two types of people who will tell you that you cannot make a difference in this world: those who are afraid to try and those who are afraid you will succeed.”
Some people have a tendency to hold back their abilities just so that they don’t make other people feel inferior. Such an attitude will only keep you in a secondary position, never letting you get the taste of being a leader.
After all, being at the top means you have to outsmart everyone else competing for the position. When you hold yourself back, it is inevitable that you will never be ‘numero uno’. So, if you have a tendency to downplay abilities while in a team, then you should stop doing that. Use all your talents on whatever task you are assigned and come out on top.
There will obviously be people who don’t like the fact that you are number one. But you don’t have to mind them. Instead, associate with those who appreciate your effort and value you for the talents you have displayed.
2. Get Rid of Toxic People
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
– Jim Rohn
There will likely be lots of toxic people around you who aim to keep you in your current state, never allowing you to be successful. Such people might be acting this way due to a number of reasons, ranging from jealousy to their own insecurities.
Whatever be their motivations, get rid of such toxic people and cut off all relationships with them. Maintaining any sort of contact with them is not only useless, but will also be counterproductive, and will hold you back from your goal.
Instead, develop relationships with people who value your growth, appreciate your success, and give you suggestions as to how to improve yourself. Surrounding yourself with such supportive people alone will give you a huge confidence boost.
Even better, surround yourself with people the likes of which you wish to achieve, i.e. those who are better than you.
3. Avoid Being Fixated on Idealistic Standards of Perfection
“Done is better than perfect.”
There is nothing perfect in this world. And this is something that many people who naively chase an idealistic sense of perfectionism need to understand. Without grasping this concept and being happy with achieving a realistic goal, you will only waste life on a wild goose chase, remaining in the same position at all times, never improving and becoming successful.
For example, imagine that you are an artist tasked with creating four paintings for a company with a deadline of 2 months. Once the client has agreed on your basic concepts, you should move on to creating the painting one by one.
But if during the process of creating the first painting, you come up with an idea to make it even better then you might think of adapting your painting to the new idea. Don’t do it. Since the client has already approved an idea, go ahead with it and complete it. Overthinking should be avoided.
If you think of implementing the new idea, then you might come up with yet another idea that is better than everything you had till now. And this stream of ideas will never cease and you will never be able to complete the paintings in time.
This will obviously hurt your reputation as a painter and people will opt not to hire you because of your inability to meet deadlines, thereby hurting your chances of being successful. So, forget about idealistic perfection, and instead focus on meeting achievable targets.
4. Don’t Seek Validation From Others
“I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure–It is: Try to please everybody.”
– Herbert Bayard Swope
When you do something, focus on doing it well. Don’t act in order to please someone else and gain their appreciation. That is definitely not the attitude of a winner. Successful people don’t do things just because they will receive appreciation.
In turn, they do whatever they are tasked with, in the right way. And this makes them successful, eventually getting them praise from all corners. So, focus on doing the job at hand the best way possible, and you will have the mindset of a winner.
Only when there is truth in what you do, can you understand it completely, and improve upon it to achieve real success.
5. Stay Fit And Healthy
Be sure to keep yourself healthy and fit. If you pursue an unhealthy lifestyle filled with fatty foods and zero exercises, then success will be out of reach. Cut down on the junk food and start eating healthy, nutritious meals. Join a gym and get your body in shape. You don’t have to get a six-pack. You just have to be fit. And this will ensure that you have the energy to remain completely focused on your goal all day long.
Doing one good thing, however small, in a disciplined manner will lead to larger changes that will have an impact on the rest of your decisions, and eventually, change the course of your life. For more on this, read about Kaizen, the Japanese method of taking small steps to achieve large goals.
Go about everything at a steady pace, there’s no need to try to conquer the world in one day. Start tackling the problem areas one by one to achieve success with everything.
How Making Decisions Using the 10/10/10 Method Can Change Your Life
Do you find it difficult to pick a side when presented with some tough decisions to make? If so, then the 10/10/10 method is the perfect solution for you. Master this simple three-step tactic, and you will soon find it easy to make quick and correct decisions just like legendary investors, Warren Buffet and Ray Dalio.
What Is The 10/10/10 Method?
The concept of the 10/10/10 method is pretty straightforward. What it advises you to do is to ask three questions when faced with a prospect of making a choice:
- How will you feel about the decision in 10 minutes?
- How will you feel about the decision in 10 months?
- How will you feel about the decision in 10 years?
For example, suppose that you are presented with a choice to buy a refurbished vehicle within the next 24 hours at 25% discount. Now, this might entice you to buy the vehicle immediately. But at the same time, you might also be concerned as to whether it would be a bad choice. In this torn state of mind, the 10/10/10 method can offer some simple and beneficial guidance.
Ask yourself how you would feel about the buying decision in 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years. If you think that within 10 minutes or 10 months of spending money you might regret it, then do not go for making the investment and buying the car. Look for other options. However, if you think that after 10 years, you will not even be concerned about having spent the money, then you can consider buying it. Just make sure that the asking price is reasonable enough.
The Psychology Of Bad Decisions And How The 10/10/10 Method Helps You Overcome It
In order to understand how the 10/10/10 method works, you have to first know the psychology involved in making a bad decision. So, let us first analyze what is a ‘bad decision’.
Imagine that you are suddenly presented with an opportunity to invest in a particular stock that your broker said will double in the next 3 days. But to take advantage of it, you will need to invest the money right away. Now, the prospect of doubling the money in just three days can be so tempting that you decide to bet all your savings on the stock. Then, the unexpected happens and the stock crashes in three days instead of going up. You have lost nearly all your hard-earned money.
In the above example, the decision to invest in the stock turned out to be a ‘bad decision’. And this was something you could have avoided if you had applied the 10/10/10 method. Before investing, consider the worse possibility of losing all your money and ask yourself the following question – how you will feel about your decision to invest in the stock in 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years.
If you think that within just 10 minutes of betting your money, you will be fretting and worried about the possibility of losing all your savings, then do yourself a favor and refrain from making the investment. If you think that in 10 months, you will hate yourself for losing all your money, then that again is a sign that you should never invest in a stock, especially one with numerous unknown underlying risks.
And finally, if you are making a huge investment that will have an adverse impact on your life over the course of 10 years, then run away from the stockbroker and never look back. You don’t want to spend the next 10 years of your life trying to make back the money you lost from the trade.
Think about the consequences of a decision. Not just the ‘brief ecstasy’ of a hit decision. Ponder on the implications and decide whether you’ll be well off or decline. In short, train your mind to start thinking beyond the immediate result because that’s usually just based on the emotions involved at the time. While we need to take risks to succeed, learning to take calculated risks instead of reckless ones is important.
5 Ultimate Things to Do to Deal With Failure
Failure is something that is inevitable yet everyone tries to dodge it. You are going to fail in many things throughout your life because the path to success always makes pit stops at failure junction. Why not embrace it and learn to use it as an advantage. When you start accepting failure, the lessons you learn from those experiences are priceless. So, let’s talk about how to deal with failure.
1. Don’t Create Excuses For Every Failure
“The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.”
– Jordan Belfort
Not everything you do will meet a successful conclusion. Many of the decisions you take in life will not only tank but can also drag you into depression. But remember to never create any excuse for such failures. Instead, accept failure as it is, learn what went wrong, and try to adapt yourself so that you can fulfil your goal the next time.
For example, if your company assigned you the task of capturing 25% of market share in a particular locality, and you failed to do so, focus on what went wrong and how you can improve. Don’t create excuses like ‘the company did not assign the required budget’ and so on.
It may be true that the company may not have given the required budget, but using that as the sole reason for your failure and overlooking personal shortcomings like improper planning and failure to lead will never turn you into a worthy successful person.
2. Stop Blaming Others For Your Mistakes
Never blame others for your mistake. Never. Period. This is especially true if you are the leader of a team, and your group has failed in any of their tasks. In such a situation, if you pin all blame on your teammates, trying to justify your standing to superiors and stakeholders, then not only will you appear an unworthy leader, but you can forget about ever achieving success.
Being successful is not just about your own talent, it is also about the support of the team around you. No one achieves anything alone. Remember that. If you aim to be at the top, you will need loyal team members who will do everything they can to make you reach the top and stay there. And that loyalty can only be earned if you treat them with due respect, and of course, recognition.
As such, if during a failure, you squarely put all blame on them, they will only consider you an opportunist, and someone who is unworthy of their loyalty. Take full responsibility for the failure and give them credit for success. Even if your team members have committed certain faults, hold yourself responsible and avoid shifting blame.
This alone will be sufficient to earn respect, and your teammates will work even harder to make sure the next task is completed successfully.
3. Avoid Being a Control Freak
Never be a control freak. When you are assigned with any specific task, split it into smaller tasks, and assign the best people for the job. Trust them to do their work properly, and guide them in case they make mistakes.
Avoid trying to control every single action assuming that only you can do the task perfectly. If you carry such an attitude, then you won’t have any good members remain on your team for too long since talented people do not like being constantly watched over and told what to do. So, give up such behaviors and learn to trust the people under you. By doing that, you will have a better chance of keeping talented people in your team for longer and achieving success.
Success is a process. It has numerous components and one of the main parts is to attain the loyalty of a professional team behind you. This team will be critical in achieving your success.
4. Stop Expecting Life to Be Fair
“If we keep telling that life is unfair but do nothing serious about it, then life will forever continue to remain unfair!”
-Mehmet Murat Ildan
Life is not fair. Don’t be naïve as to assume that when you do something right, you deserve and will receive a positive result. Unfortunately, the world does not work that way. So, give up on such silly notions.
Instead, look at any task ahead of you from multiple perspectives. Plan for all types of consequences, without being fixated on a lone positive outcome. And by doing so, you will always be ready to meet any consequences, no matter how wildly they differ from your expectations.
Think about scenarios where your planning goes wrong, and the results achieved are far from perfect. Plan on steps to undertake when such things happen, and you will be well-prepared. As they say, hope for the best, and plan for the worst.
5. Meet Problems Head-On
And finally, don’t run away from problems. Don’t avoid them as if they don’t matter. That is a sure-fire way to remain a loser all through your life. No one achieved greatness by avoiding problems. Be stoic about obstacles. Obstacles will reveal paths you wouldn’t have considered otherwise.
Great people are successful and are admired by many people as being a success because they faced all problems head-on instead of running away from it. So, if your business is tanking, then have the courage to first acknowledge that your decisions were wrong.
If you acknowledge that the business is failing, then you can think of ways to reverse the situation. But if you don’t even accept that reality, then you are guaranteed to fail. A person with such an attitude will never amount to anything. Mainly because they can’t accept the reality in front of them, and keep on avoiding the biggest obstacles.
And even if they achieve success, they will not be able to maintain it. So, develop a character that confronts all problems that come in the way of your goal, and you will have a better chance of being a successful person.
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
– Winston S. Churchill
5 Essential Ways to Thrive in a Fast-Changing World
Someone once said that change is the only permanent thing in the world. And in some ways, it just goes on to show the power of change including how destructive or constructive it can be in our lives.
A person who has equipped themselves to deal with change will always be able to survive in all conditions, while those who retreat back to their safe spaces will only be thrown aside by the rapid changes. Today, I will talk about a few essential ways that can help you thrive in a fast-changing world.
1. Keep Learning
If there is one thing that can help you survive the numerous changes in the world, it is the ability to gather and use knowledge. In fact, those who keep learning about new subjects all through their lives will be far more likely to adjust to any changing circumstance than those who never learn anything new. The latter, remaining shut from new knowledge, will never be able to survive in a dynamic environment and will be pushed out of the mainstream competition.
If you remain constantly updated with new knowledge, you will be able to spot opportunities in the changes and will know how best to utilize them. This will endow you with qualities of adaptability and you will easily be able to survive in any condition.
2. Be Creative
Another characteristic of people who are able to thrive in a rapidly changing world are people with a creative mindset. Such people are always ready to try out new things, no matter how outlandish they might sound initially. And through their sheer creative force, most of them are able to overcome almost frightening changes, and even end up being masters at tackling them.
3. Networking and Socializing
A huge aspect of personal and professional success is networking. This is a skill that will help you gain friends and other contacts who can turn out to be quite helpful under stressful conditions. And for someone looking to find ways to survive the fast-changing world, networking and socializing is easily one of the biggest skills you must focus on developing.
Imagine that a sudden change in government policy has cost your business huge losses to the point that you are nearly bankrupt. Now, if you have been maintaining excellent relations with your suppliers, you can request them to continue providing you with credit purchases for a few months so that your sales recover and you can arrange for the money to pay the suppliers.
If you have been honoring their payments on time until now and have socialized with them to the extent that they consider you as ‘one of theirs’, then they will extend your credit, thereby helping your business stay afloat even after facing some extremely negative market conditions.
4. Psychological Adaptability
Some of the developments that take place in the world can be so radical that if you are not psychologically prepared for that shift, you will essentially be left behind by the change. One example of such large-scale social change over the past decades has been the women’s equality movement. For centuries, women were not allowed to work, earn money, or live a life with the same freedom as men. And as a result, traditional gender roles made men see women simply as someone restricted to taking care of the home alone.
But since the 1960s, the women’s suffrage movement ensured that women gained equal access to work and life choices. This essentially meant that women started choosing their life partners based on love instead of financial support. And men, who adjusted to this change and broke out of their stereotypical notions of women-only serving as their wives, were able to see their female counterparts as equals thereby finding long-lasting marriage partners.
However, the men who still held onto gender stereotypes and couldn’t psychologically adapt to the new social condition where women enjoyed equal rights as them, were largely neglected as marriage partners by women and had to live solitary lives. This is why having a flexible attitude to life is essential. Only then will you be able to adapt your basic psychological conditioning in favor of new changes thereby live a healthy and fruitful life.
5. Community Support
Finally, as far as an individual is concerned, it is recommended that you find a community support group that can act as a pillar of strength and support in situations where you may find yourself unable to cope with any big change in your life. Being alone in such circumstances can not only lead you to depression but is also dangerous.
If you have an understanding community who will hear out your concerns and advise you on how to deal with your life problems, you will be in a better position to overcome the negative effects of a change and, in fact, thrive in such conditions.
Adaptability and flexibility are really important to embrace changes. If you refuse to change your ways while everything and everyone around you is changing, then being left behind is inevitable. A rigid mindset will not take you far, but a flexible mindset will.
Learn to be open to trying new things and new methods to figure out what is beneficial according to the current market and also the future. Don’t be afraid of changes, see them as another stepping stone for achieving what you have set out to achieve.
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