We often wait for the right time, especially when it comes to making big decisions that will result in huge changes. Usually, when you are waiting for the right time or the right opportunity it is because you are afraid of the step that you need to take.
“Conditions are never perfect. ‘Someday’ is a disease that will take your dreams to the grave with you…. If it’s important to you and you want to do it ‘eventually,’ just do it and correct course along the way.”
Anything taking us out of our comfort zone is immediately perceived as a threat by our brain and we start coming up with reasons to not do it – now isn’t the right time is the more common one.
Another one includes thinking you are underprepared so you should just keep on working and researching more before you take a step. You could have done all you can but you will still hesitate to make a decision. You fall into analysis paralysis, where you are in a state of over-analyzing a situation or problem, and as a result, a decision or action is never taken, paralyzing the outcome.
You can only think about so much, you can only do so many things to ensure everything goes smoothly, you can only think about so many risks that you can counter – unless you don’t do something about it you will never know if it is going to work on not.
I am definitely not telling you to take the plunge with no research involved, as someone who has dabbled in my fair share of businesses, I know how important research is. The problem here is that – what we often don’t realize is – there comes a point when you have to leave the whiteboard and walk over to the workstation.
Commitment to taking actions and not pausing after the phase of research and preparation is not something you’ll achieve overnight. You will have to learn to push yourself and fight the tendency to fall back into your old patterns. Instead of accepting your inaction with whatever excuse your brain comes up with, always try to find the cause for it, and learn ways to overcome it. Because oftentimes you will find that the root cause for your inaction is your brain’s way of protecting you from a sticky situation.
You need to keep moving forward in order to achieve your dreams and stay true to your visions. Being at the same place, doing the same things you have always done will never help you achieve the things you want.
Make friends with the act of finding your shortcomings and tackling them head-on so that you don’t blame yourself for not going after what you want; so that you do all you can to make things happen. Because, by taking no action, all we do is make sure that we don’t succeed.
Life isn’t fair is something that we all have heard, and there are good chances that we have said it too. But, life is fair in the sense that it is unfair to everyone. Then there comes the comeback that not everyone is born with a silver spoon in their mouth. Yes, that is true but what you do with what you are provided is what makes huge things happen.
This often opens up the discussion of how equal opportunities can solve all the problems that the world faces. Equal opportunity is the idealistic goal we, as a society, are trying to achieve from the start. But, just because you weren’t at the same starting point as everyone else, doesn’t mean you do not run the race.
Have you heard of the quote – success comes when preparation meets opportunity – I used to live by it, I still do. Opportunities do come knocking on our doors; we just have to be very receptive to the sound and answer immediately, escort it in and embrace it with all we have.
That being said, you can’t always wait for opportunities to make a house call, you can’t simply wait for success to come around on its own. Success is never handed out, you need to earn it by taking things into your hands and making things happen.
“The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.”
Through your actions and preparations, you have to make use of everything you already have and work on what you don’t but you need. Life is not supposed to be just received – what’s the fun in that – it is supposed to be made into something bigger; by you. If you think your life hasn’t given you enough, then instead of using that as a get out of jail card, get yourself together and create your own options, your own opportunities, your own destiny.
“I made a resolve then that I was going to amount to something if I could. And no hours, nor amount of labor, nor amount of money would deter me from giving the best that there was in me. And I have done that ever since, and I win by it. I know.”
We often rely too much on people or are afraid to ask for help. Both these extremes are detrimental. You need to create your own platform. The world is in a rat race – everyone has someplace to go, things to do, and dreams to work on. Chances are, noo one is going to stop to help you out, but no one owes you a thing anyway.
Some will help, but as long as their own dreams are not being compromised, which is the smart thing to do for anyone. Don’t challenge or compare yourself to another person, but challenge yourself. You are your only competition and the past you is your only rival. You need to be better than you were yesterday. Believe in yourself. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Have the courage to move forward. Get inspired, stay motivated, and you’ll build a lot of doors. When you start answering doors and when you get a chance, build some for others as well.
It is true that life doesn’t always work out the way you plan it – you have to be willing to adapt. You can’t always have a plan, you can’t be at the steering wheel always, but you must be able to go on regardless of whether you have the ball in your court or not.
You can keep dreaming about what you want all your life but do not do anything to make it happen. It is unfair to your dreams and yourself. Don’t be afraid to get out of your comfort zone. Make efforts, take risks, and make smart decisions. Don’t wait for opportunities to come to you, go and create them for yourself.
If I had to summarize it then I would say that build a door for the opportunity to knock if the opportunity hasn’t knocked yet.
“The way to get started is to quit talking and start doing.”
Why it is Hard to Stay Motivated
Change is the only constant.
How many times have we heard this in our lives?
Do you realize this is not merely a saying but an experience every individual goes through multiple times during his entire life?
None of us know what the next second has in store for us. Right now you may be elated and you might find yourself in complete folds the next hour.
Well, these are the times when you need to chomp in a well-prepared meal.
No no, not your regular food, this meal has special ingredients which when cooked together, give you the dish called ‘motivation’.
It is extremely important to sense when our morale starts losing for if not paid attention to, it can turn into a habit and you might find yourself quite comfortable.
To be able to pull yourself out of lethargy, an understanding of what motivation actually is should be taken into consideration.
When defined, motivation is the power that activates the engine of success and moves you to act. It is not some external drive but comes from within and is very much related to your ambitions and desires in life.
Keep reminding yourself that this is a recurring process, you’ll have to be your own source of encouragement every day, sometimes even more than once a day.
Easier said than done right?
I am aware.
However, a strong and logical mind is sure to overrule your emotions. After all, you are not your mind but much beyond that.
To be content and motive-driven, you need to have clarity. Like I mentioned above, a strong mind has control over your emotions and will help you keep track of your visions and goals. It is usually easy to get distracted by external factors but if you are sure enough of what you want ahead, nothing can come in your way.
Let’s see some things that you could do when you feel like there’s not much productivity flowing out :
- The foremost thing is to stop and take deep breaths. A calm and relaxed mind is capable of viewing different point of views of the same situation. A moment of panic is sure to push you away and impact your ability to work.
- After you find yourself quiet, drink two sips of water to give fuel to the brain.
- Now, look closely at what you have in hand. An assignment to finish before the deadline? An examination to prepare for, due the day after? A project you just stepped into? Well, the list obviously is endless.
- Having the work outline made, sit and divide it into smaller tasks, hence now you have shorter goals which are comparatively easier to achieve.
- When a 4-5 hour project is broken down into sets of half an hour each, after the completion of every 0.5 hours there will be a sense of contentment and pride. The satisfaction thus attained will be far greater than anything else.
Now, this was just a little glimpse of what can be done or something that I usually adhere to. However, is this the only standard procedure?
Every individual is different and has his own psychological being. For some, a pep-talk would do wonders while for others just a 10-15 minute alone time is enough to get back to normal.
Therefore, don’t try to follow any steps mechanically. See various things, read about various things, and in the end, come up with different permutations and combinations that suit the best for you.
Enough of how to get motivated and why to get motivated. Let’s step into the deeper issue – ‘Not being able to work and to not be productive does not mean I am any less serious about my career. I am not making excuses just so that I can get off of responsibilities easily. Why does no one believe when I say this?’
The thoughts that we ponder over every time we are hit by a wave of disinterest. The problem is not anybody not believing you, the setback is of how society isn’t accepting of low workload times.
The pressure of watching every other person excel and hear stories of how people work 36 hours a day, has made this the notion of how one should approach his professional background.
The fear of not being able to report in time and the stress of being a few steps behind others always is daunting our subconsciousness. It’s high time we as individuals accept that this is what it is and it’s completely okay to be not okay somedays.
Embracing your own shortcomings will give you the courage to stand by yourself and fall back into action with double the motivation and power.
You know that these aren’t mere excuses, you know your mindset at that point in time and you know that you will give anything and everything to not be in this position and this is all that matters.
A sense of belief and confidence will automatically provide a boost and you’ll see yourself springing into ideas and creative techniques to give shape to the same project.
Hence, two things are the highlight of your gloomy days – One, that targets smaller goals to reach the bigger goal in less time and with less stress. Two, to accept and face the fact that you will have no willpower one day and it’s okay but at the same time knowing that you have to get back on your feet the next day.
How Reading can impact your Day to Day Life?
Reading is a healthy habit, which, if practiced daily, can change your entire life around. Do you want to know why? Through Reading, one can not only gain knowledge but also stay acquainted with the outside as well as the inside world. The best thing about reading daily is to have an isolated place for yourself in your mind, where you can run off to. Most people don’t have the patience or intention to read, and that too, daily. Though this is a habit that takes time to settle in but trust me, once it does, you would never regret it. So, here is a list of reasons why you should read daily?
Why should you read daily?
- To gain knowledge
Once you start reading daily, and by Reading, it can be anything – you can read few pages of a novel, or a magazine, or newspaper, or even poetry – you would notice within weeks how much your knowledge regarding the outer world has improved. Through Reading, one can have clear information regarding the current affairs, and hence, stay updated.
- To improve your vocabulary
Through Reading, you can definitely learn new words and hence, improve your vocabulary. Most people make it a habit to learn a new word from the dictionary every day, but if you read daily, you are bound to get new words and make a list of them on a notebook with their meanings, which is definitely going to be helpful for you.
- To have a make-believe world
The most beautiful consequence of Reading is having one’s own imaginary world, where one can live a life full of magic. This is the extraordinary superpower one acquires while reading. In this busy daily life of ours, we all look for a secluded place where we can feel the essence of peace. Reading can fly you off to the imaginary land of sunflowers, daisies, and cats who can indeed talk.
- To become more attentive
Most people lack patience nowadays. Being impatient and restless has become a severe problem in today’s world. Here, Reading can help you calm your mind and improve your observation skills. It works like meditation. In no time, you would find your mind focusing on details and becoming more attentive to events, which used to go unnoticed.
- To reduce stress
Reading is similar to meditation, and hence, it definitely helps to reduce your stress. Books always have a calming effect on one’s mind. It takes you away from daily problems and stressful situations and helps your mind to gain stability. Not only it helps in reducing stress, but it also helps to decrease the anxiety levels of a person.
Everyone should make reading a daily habit. One should switch off the mobile phones, turn off the television and take some time out to read. It works wonders on one’s day-to-day life and changes one person’s entire personality. Though it can be hard at first, with time, you would cherish the moments alone, reading in a corner while your mind is flying off to Narnia.
Is this Shoe the Right Fit: Gender Stereotyping in Fairytale through Cinderella
Growing up the first source of literature, children are exposed to are fairytales. These stories are read to them by parents as bedtime stories or watched by them on television. These stories are great influencers on a child’s’ mind, and therefore start conforming to its stereotyping, especially gender. Fairytales truly do educate and instill in children’s morality, but children get accustomed to the fairytales and thus begin to identify with the character in the story. The stereotypes in fairytales concern both genders and lay their roles out for them, but at large, the stereotypes are targeted at women.
One of the biggest and widely spread fairytales is “Cinderella” and as a child one watches her beautiful transformation, her damsel in distress moment, her prince charming who saves her and with everything going on in her life still being the ‘kindest soul’. There are about a thousand various versions of Cinderella, and also different movie adaptation, one of the famous one is by Disney. This fairytale has portrayed so many genders stereotyping that as a child one doesn’t realise but going back to the text, the stereotyping seems a little too evident.
These stories nearly always start with the phrase “once upon a time”. Cinderella was no exception, her story was once upon a time. It revolved around the tragedies in her life with her mother passing away to, father remarrying, treatment by her step-family, and finally meeting the prince who rescues her. These stereotyping are witnessed in stories depicting the higher class and hence talks about the consumption market of the same. The story is said to inspire girls to behave ladylike even if you are not born into nobility. Someday such beauty and grace, not just physical, will get them their prince. Which, will further give them approval from society on their shift from a girl to a lady. Taking the abuse pushed on her by her family instilling the idea of female leads being submissive in nature and continuously requiring help and support from various characters in the story. To have something good, one needs to face hardships in life; this concept is portrayed in the idea by depicting Cinderella as a servant, who is abused and works hard to please people. The prince saves Cinderella, and intern becomes the writer of her destiny. Cinderella further depicted as a perfect template on how to be a proper lady 101. As she doesn’t argue nor talkback makes her the ideal woman.
As far as beauty is concerned, Cinderella is described as a beautiful woman with her feminine features and wearing a stunning gown to the ball makes her even more attractive. This has been propaganda sold to girls at a very young age that she doesn’t need to sound intelligent as the prince in Cinderella did not care about her intelligence instead only cared for her beauty. This ideology is even seen today where people tell girls they need to ‘dress to impress’, that the only way to grab a man’s attention is by looking ‘beautiful’ adhering to society’s definition of beautiful. The society’s interpretation is influenced by Cinderella and various other fairytales. Who has sold the idea of a small waist, fair and clear-skinned, having her hair always almost perfect – has made girls feel insecure about their body and physical appearance. Due to the obsession of having a smaller waist leads to a lot of girls developing bad eating habits and trying to obtain fair and glowing skin.
The prince in the story is a strong character who is portrayed as a rescuer and knight in shining armour who comes in and rescues Cinderella from her miserable life and showcases that the whole story revolves to lead to this moment. Cinderella also had to prove her identity to the prince who did not recognise her.
The love story between the two main characters – Cinderella and Prince Charming seems utterly unreal and cringe-worthy. Love termed here is physical attraction and no interaction to know each other’s personality. Adding to the standard of beauty is applied to boy’s as well. They have to look a sure way to meet the standard of being ‘handsome’. Further, the knight in shining armour syndrome makes boys believe that they are entitled to rescue girls and marry girls based on their look. They think that they need to look for a girl who will take care of the house and not talk back, which leads to a biased society where females and males are conformed to stereotypes. This further makes children believe that marriage is the end goal.
Cinderella is just one classic fairytale that is discussed and portrays gender stereotypes, but other stories like Sleeping Beauty, snow-white, Rapunzel to formulate stereotypes. As Cinderella is famous and is one of the widely read novels, it made sense to use that as a platform to prove that fairytales are a source of gender stereotypes. There has been a surge in positive and unbiased fairytales and children’s movies such as Shrek, Mulan, Frozen, Brave to name a few but none the less the other stories still exist and propagated to children widely.
The end of the story is, do we really want children to have unrealistic standards on gender and beauty, and do we want them to believe that vulnerable and weak women are the only ones who grab men’s attention. If we need to formulate change, we need to start with fairytales. Being a fairytale fan myself I don’t mean to say scrap out fairytales all together, fairytales are an essential source of literature that shouldn’t be taken away from children. What we might think about doing is change the stories, portray roles of men and women as strong characters, who value equality and that stereotyping has to take leave from Fairytales.
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