How Ellen DeGeneres Made Kindness a Mainstream Conversation

When Being Kind Became Cool

Doing kind things was not always in style. Being tough, sarcastic, cynical? That was what got you noticed. However, Ellen DeGeneres entered the picture and turned the discussion in a different direction. She even created kindness as something that people talked, thought about, and tried to apply through their day to day lives.

Over the last 20 years, millions of individuals were watching the Ellen show. Of course, they came to have fun and the celebrity guests. Yet they remained because they had something to remember–something that kindness is important. And in the world that seems so divided, and so angry at times, that message struck a chord.

More Than Just a Catchphrase

“Be kind to one another.” It was the last thing Ellen said at the end of each and every show. Five plain words which made her trademark. But it was not merely ending the show with cute words. It was a philosophy. A challenge. A humble reminder on how to treat each other and how it matters?

Ellen was aware of something significant: kindness does not necessarily have to be complex. You do not have to have big gestures and life changing events. Sometimes goodwill is simply listening to someone who is talking in your disbelief. Or biting your tongue rather than speaking ill. Or being able to give someone the benefit of the doubt even when you are in a bad mood.

Kindness When It’s Hard

Here’s where it gets tricky. Doing good things to those who share your opinion? Easy. And be nice to a person whose opinion causes your blood to boil? That is quite another thing.

Yet just at that point when kindness is needed the most. 

In case we do not agree with a person, we would first argue, dismiss or attack. We would like to show them that we are correct and they are not. But what does that do anybody good? It only makes things worse in most instances.

Good naturedness opens half shut doors of anger. When you treat a person with respect even when a heated argument is in progress, you are putting space to have a real discussion. You are acknowledging them as human beings. And that is all sometimes that is needed to get some ground.

A Message That Made Sense

At its core, Ellen DeGeneres’ message around kindness was always pretty simple and down to earth. She framed it less as being perfect and more as just trying to treat people better day by day. The idea was that everyone messes up sometimes, but choosing empathy, owning mistakes, and showing a little patience still counts. By keeping kindness approachable instead of preachy, she made it feel like something anyone could practice in everyday life—not a rule, just a choice.

As Ellen once said, “Everything bad that’s ever happened to me has taught me compassion.” That’s powerful. She never gave up to the tough moments and made herself bitter instead she became kinder. She had learned that suffering and hardship can close your heart, or open it up. The choice is yours.

She also reminded us of the importance of considering other people and not ourselves. It was a radical idea in the culture that is more likely to glorify self-interest and prioritizing oneself first. It meant that maybe the solution to happiness was not merely in acquiring what we wanted but in making sure that others acquired what they needed.

What We Can Learn

Ellen did not simply contribute to the kindness talk with her show. She got people to begin thinking about how they treat people in their day to day life. At the grocery store. On social media. In traffic. During the family dinners when politics are brought up.

The thing is that we are living in a world that is in a dire need of being kinder. Not like the fake one that does not speak about hard things. But the real kind which says, I see you as a human being even when I do not agree with you.

It does not mean that you should not follow your rules or even forego the fight to defend what is right. You don’t have to be rude to people to express your opinion. In fact, your kindness will make your message stronger and you will realize that people will listen more when they are not being challenged.

How Does This Work In Real Life? Let’s Take A Look

Maybe it’s seeing a nasty post online and just scrolling by—instead of adding a harsh comment.

Maybe it’s truly paying attention when a coworker speaks—instead of just planning what you’ll say next.

Maybe it’s asking a question when you hear something you disagree with—instead of jumping to a quick judgment.

These choices may feel small. But they matter. Each time you pick kindness over meanness, or patience over anger, or curiosity over shutting someone out—you make the world a little better. And you show that Ellen’s message was true all along.

Kindness isn’t weakness. It’s courage. It takes guts to be nice in a world where the reverse thing to do i.e fight is rewarded. But it’s worth it. We are all the same at the end of the day so what we do to each other matters.

So take Ellen’s advice. Be kind to one another. More so to individuals with whom you do not get along with. You might be surprised by what happens when you do.