Motivation Is a Terrible Boss. Who Governs Better?

There’s a degree of unhappiness that makes us human. No one’s life is picture perfect, despite what Instagram will have you believe. No one is devoid of regret, or a certain degree of reasonable doubt and exhaustion. That’s a part of what makes us empathic and kind. So ridding people of upset (with no regard to whether that upset is actually necessary) has become a marketing strategy. Filling the natural ‘void’ with purchases to get that cheap dopamine, filling it with scrolls, likes, the 13th pair of shoes. That’s our way of life. So, no wonder that Western society has fallen for a dangerous idea fed to us by people who made their fortune a long time ago. Motivation. Just have the right mindset. Just flip your way of thinking. Just project what you want to the universe. And you shall be rewarded with everything you’ve ever wished for. Money, cars, women, respect.

Chasing Motivation Is the Core Problem, not the Solution

The previous few decades fed us a plethora of motivational books. “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill was a veteran in this discussion and became a bestseller in 1937. To this day, the book sells like hot cakes, and has already sold over 100 million copies. It is one of the most famous self-help/business-success books ever, built around ideas like burning desire, faith, autosuggestion, persistence, and definite purpose. The core promise being that success starts with a strong enough inner desire and belief system. Want it badly enough, believe hard enough, and shape your thoughts toward success.

Has it worked for us so far? Have we not wanted our dreams to come true enough? Or maybe it’s not technically true. When an heir to a fortune, for example, tells you to send happy thoughts into the universe, when you’re having trouble putting food on the table for your kids, your answer to him should include a snort of derision, not a self-loathing sigh. Same goes for the countless courses labeled something absurd, like “The key to womanhood,” and “How to unleash your inner goddess.” Snort. Of. Derision. Nothing more. Usually, those courses are offered by a woman who’s too afraid to admit to her audience that someone else is taking care of her day-to-day needs (which is nothing shameful, by the way), leaving her ample time to unleash her inner goddess, or whatever else she finds fit to do with her life. Many financial-success-oriented motivation books make little sense if the author is not upfront about either fraud or a substantial inheritance. Again, there is nothing wrong or evil about inheritance! Just the misleading idea that they got to where they are using happy thoughts and ‘masculine affirmations.’

Habits Change Who We Are

When I was younger, the old line that goes, we are what we repeatedly do. Why? I could do one thing today, and if I want to change, I can start anytime. Phst…. Whether we attach it to Aristotle or Will Durant, the point is still too honest to pass up. Character, which is actually who we are, is not built by what we intend to do, or what we feel inspired to do, but by what we practice often enough for it to become automatic.

It’s important to note, that ‘good habits’ mean something vastly different depending on your goal. Let’s discuss a few examples.

• You want to be a famous blogger and reach a huge audience. Consistency is key here.

– First, figure out if you have something to say, and what your message is.
– Then, you learn as much as you can about the backdoor of video content.
– Master editing. Even a free video maker service like browser extension Clideo. Learn, apply, repeat.
– Take your friends as a control group, study why and how big bloggers get where they are.
– Don’t romanticize the field. Money rules, and at some point, you might need it to grow.

All of the above can be put into practice by doing something in the right direction every single day without fail.

• You want to ‘become fit’.

Wow, if I had a nickel for every person who’s said that to me.
– Narrow down your goal. Becoming fit is a general idea that doesn’t mean anything to people. Truly.
– Let’s say you’ve narrowed it down to ‘ I want to deadlift 50 pounds.’ A very doable goal, by the way.
– Get to a gym, or splurge on a dumbbell set to achieve your goal at home.
– Make the time to practice every day. Yes, busy life doesn’t allow for much training time. Did you think it was going to be easy?

• You want to increase your income. Let’s leave it at that. Because I know nothing about becoming rich. That’s why, let’s leave it at the phrasing ‘higher income.’

– There are several important questions you should ask yourself before you start. Evaluate your debt, if you are in a hole.
Am I spending too much? And if no, what does ‘too much’ constitute?
Are there any corners of my debt that I can start chipping away at?
Is there a possibility of growth at my current position?
If yes, am I assertive enough at work to ask for a raise correctly?
Do I have the skills that would grant me this possibility, or do I need to make time to acquire those skills?
– Once those basic questions are answered, you might want to turn to your own knowledge. If you are able to put away even a very small sum each month, do you know enough about investing? If not, educate yourself. Thankfully, the interner is a wonderful place where you can learn a lot about virtually anything.
– Know more about compound interest? Great. Work on your credit score and find out all you can about how to make it better.

Now answer me this. Will you have the motivation to do this every day? I would bet a million dollars on NO if I had that kind of money. Motivation doesn’t matter when it’s 10 pm, you’re tired and you’re just getting home to your screaming toddler who missed you all day. Habits step in. Habits, not motivation. Telling yourself THIS IS JUST WHAT I DO NOW.

Another underestimated truth about compound interest. We know that small amounts of money build over time through compound interest, as each next percentage is counted off the new, bigger sum. That’s exactly the principle we can apply to our habits.

Start embarrassingly small if you want to build a habit that sticks. Start too big, and you’ll fly off the handle soon enough. So, start small.

• You want smarter spending? Again, start with a smaller goal of not going to the grocery store hungry. Very small adjustment, but it builds to less waste, better grocery list, and more efficient planning. Not to mention, fewer impulse buys and fewer cravings. Then you can think of other ways you can become a better spender and other habits you can incorporate.

• Want to build a stronger body? Depending on your take-off spot, of course, but start small. 15 minutes a day of walking. 10 squats. The lowest possible exertion you can actually achieve regularly. Then, start building on top of it. There won’t be any motivation to do it daily. Just habit.

And remember, any goal worth achieving is usually a long-term goal, and you can’t get there in a day. Motivation fizzles out over time and tricks your brain into thinking you’re a failure if the daily flame is not there. Your brain is not right. It just wants what it always wants. Conserve energy as work as little as it possibly can. That’s just the law of nature. So it’s time for you to trick your brain by taking small steps towards big habits, and you won’t recognize how far you’ve come.