Self Improvement

Possible Reasons Your Personal Relationships Are Suffering



Healthy personal relationships can provide us with immense inner fulfillment and make us feel as if we’re a part of something larger. But, on the flipside, unhealthy relationships can cause us to question our self-worth and drain us emotionally. So, if your personal relationships currently leave a lot to be desired, it’s in your best interest to turn things around post haste – and the first step in doing this is educating yourself on some of the most common reasons for which personal relationships suffer.

You’re a Bad Listener

The importance of being a good listener cannot be overstated. After all, when you go to a friend, family member, or acquaintance with a problem or simply want them to hear you out, it’s reasonable to expect them to pay proper attention. Conversely, if someone in whom you confide shows a complete lack of interest in what you’re saying or consistently tries to steer the conversation back to themselves, you’d be understandably hurt and/or frustrated. Although most people can agree that such behavior is highly inconsiderate, many of us tend to engage in it without even meaning to.

So, the next time a loved one seeks your advice on an issue or simply wishes to vent, make a point of being a good listener. This will require making an earnest effort to catch yourself in the act when zoning out or attempting to redirect the conversation. If these behaviors are commonplace for you, this is liable to take some adjustment. However, your efforts are likely to pay off in the form of strengthened personal relationships and a strong knack for active listening.

You Seldom Return Favors

It’s generally considered a bad form to do favors for others solely to get something in return. For example, if a loved one urgently requires your help, how they’re going to pay you back should be the absolute last thing on your mind. However, at the same time, most personal relationships involve a certain level of give-and-take, and if one party consistently does a lot of the latter but none of the former, resentment is liable to spring up.

So, if you’re quick to ask for favors but hesitant to return them, you shouldn’t be surprised if certain friends and family members come to regard you as a sponge. At the end of the day, people generally get out of the relationships that they put into them, and if you’re not putting anything into your relationships, the people in your life are likely to feel taken advantage of. As such, you should be prepared to return any favor you request – particularly favors of the non-emergency variety.  

You Don’t Honor Plans

All of us have had to back out of plans at one point or another. And to be fair, there are a variety of valid reasons why people are unable to honor personal commitments. For instance, if you’re sick, injured, or dealing with a personal or work-related emergency, you may have no choice but to back out of plans with loved ones. However, if you habitually flake out on plans without a valid reason or advance notice, you’re liable to see the number of invites you receive dwindle. So, in the interest of avoiding this outcome, do your absolute best to honor commitments you’ve made and avoid committing to plans you’re unlikely to keep.

You Don’t Have Shared Causes

Bonding over shared causes can be a fantastic way to strengthen personal relationships. So, if there are any causes about which you and any loved ones are truly passionate, consider joining together to volunteer time and resources. For example, if you and any friends or family members are adamant about supporting human rights, there are countless ways for you to help the cause.

Your mental health is practically guaranteed to be impacted by the quality of the relationships you cultivate. So, if any of your current relationships could stand to undergo some improvement, you shouldn’t hesitate to tackle the problem in earnest. Unfortunately, there are a variety of reasons why personal relationships go south, and it isn’t always clear who the responsible party truly is. Sure, other people often carry some measure of blame, but in many cases, relationships suffer as a result of our own actions. So, if you’re unclear on why a relationship is proving problematic, consider the reasons outlined above.


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