When we begin our journey, there are a lot of thoughts that plague our minds. Some of them positive, but most of them negative. You must have heard people mention “Law of attraction.” It means you attract what you think. Fear is one of the most prominent emotions that controls us in the starting phase. These thoughts are a result of fear and sometimes, ego.
Knowing what thoughts to hold on to and what ideas to let go is crucial to develop a positive attitude. Most of the things that I am going to talk about end up making us pessimists, egotistical, careless, and cocky.
These are the things we use as an excuse as to why we aren’t doing anything to change our situation that we hate or why we aren’t working on our dreams. These also make excuses for our own shortcomings. To be successful, it is vital to get rid of emotions that do nothing but pull you down or make you feel comfortable in your own incompetence.
1. “I’m just waiting for the right time to start doing things the way I think I should.”
Right time never comes. No time is the right time. You have to take the time and make it right. If this is your excuse for not getting started on building things the way you want them to be, then it is just that- an EXCUSE!
Many people lose precious years because they wait for the perfect moment. The perfect moment to quit their job, the perfect moment to launch a business, the perfect moment to take a risk. Guess what? The perfect moment never comes. There will always be something that will give you a reason to not take the first step. If you are looking for a reason to stay where you are, then you will surely find it. You have to get over it and just start. The start is the tricky part; it then becomes easier emotionally.
2. “I’ll start working from tomorrow.”
Tomorrow never comes for people who use this as an excuse. I used to do this with my workout plans. “I will start exercising from tomorrow.” “I will start eating healthy from tomorrow.” Trust me; there is nothing healthy about this mindset.
It is a way of procrastinating but on a much larger scale. When you procrastinate on a specific task that you will have to do, that you are accountable for, that you will be answerable to someone for, you will eventually end up doing it. But goals that you have for yourself do not necessarily have a deadline, so it is easier for your brain to keep pushing it without feeling guilty. Ask yourself, “Why not today?” If you don’t have a logical answer, then start it today.
3. “I know I need to work hard but ….”
4. “I don’t need to change anything.”
5. “I’m too busy for this.”
When you know you need to work hard, but you still find some excuse not to, just know that the problem is you. We do not like to accept that we are at fault in any situation. We are also creatures of habit. While we want change, we don’t like to go through the process of bringing change.
When we want grand things, we have to make efforts that are bigger than anything we have done before. We want something, but we don’t want to change anything to get it. This is because we get too comfortable where we are. Getting out of your comfort zone is necessary to achieve success.
“Too busy” is an excuse I hear a lot. “Why aren’t you doing something that clearly needs to be done for yourself?” is something that people ask people who keep talking about their dreams but do nothing for them to come true. If being busy is your answer, then you need to realize that you don’t want it as bad as you think you do. When you really want something, you make time for it. That’s how priorities work.
6. “He/she was born to succeed. I don’t have what it takes.”
7. “I was just unlucky this time.”
Making excuses like success depends on luck or on other people being more skilled than you are the laziest ones you can make. If you really think that all it takes to succeed is luck, then you are wrong on so many levels.
“Success comes when preparation meets opportunity.”
If you want “luck” to be in your favor, you have to work hard. When you put all the work out there, you are sure to attract opportunities. Sure some people are more talented than others, but that will be the case in every scenario. Does that mean we should stop aiming for great things? No! Sometimes people with talent fail because they are not willing to put in the work needed. You will see people who are not necessarily naturally-gifted in a field making steady progress because they keep learning and improving themselves. It all boils down to consistency at the end of the day.
A negative mentality can hurt even the best works. This is why people focus so much on cutting negativity out of your life. If you are not a pessimist, surrounding yourself with people like that will make you one. People you hang out regularly with have quite an influence on your thought process. Surround yourself with people who know how to look at the silver lining.
When you are trying to make something of yourself, it is definitely hard. You are scared, you are worried, you want to be the best. You do not need to add the extra obstacle of your own thoughts. Don’t let your thoughts hold you back, if anything, they should help you propel. This is also why meditation is advised for people who have trouble getting their thoughts in order. Try meditating, and you will learn how much of an asset a clear mind truly is.
How Making Decisions Using the 10/10/10 Method Can Change Your Life
Do you find it difficult to pick a side when presented with some tough decisions to make? If so, then the 10/10/10 method is the perfect solution for you. Master this simple three-step tactic, and you will soon find it easy to make quick and correct decisions just like legendary investors, Warren Buffet and Ray Dalio.
What Is The 10/10/10 Method?
The concept of the 10/10/10 method is pretty straightforward. What it advises you to do is to ask three questions when faced with a prospect of making a choice:
- How will you feel about the decision in 10 minutes?
- How will you feel about the decision in 10 months?
- How will you feel about the decision in 10 years?
For example, suppose that you are presented with a choice to buy a refurbished vehicle within the next 24 hours at 25% discount. Now, this might entice you to buy the vehicle immediately. But at the same time, you might also be concerned as to whether it would be a bad choice. In this torn state of mind, the 10/10/10 method can offer some simple and beneficial guidance.
Ask yourself how you would feel about the buying decision in 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years. If you think that within 10 minutes or 10 months of spending money you might regret it, then do not go for making the investment and buying the car. Look for other options. However, if you think that after 10 years, you will not even be concerned about having spent the money, then you can consider buying it. Just make sure that the asking price is reasonable enough.
The Psychology Of Bad Decisions And How The 10/10/10 Method Helps You Overcome It
In order to understand how the 10/10/10 method works, you have to first know the psychology involved in making a bad decision. So, let us first analyze what is a ‘bad decision’.
Imagine that you are suddenly presented with an opportunity to invest in a particular stock that your broker said will double in the next 3 days. But to take advantage of it, you will need to invest the money right away. Now, the prospect of doubling the money in just three days can be so tempting that you decide to bet all your savings on the stock. Then, the unexpected happens and the stock crashes in three days instead of going up. You have lost nearly all your hard-earned money.
In the above example, the decision to invest in the stock turned out to be a ‘bad decision’. And this was something you could have avoided if you had applied the 10/10/10 method. Before investing, consider the worse possibility of losing all your money and ask yourself the following question – how you will feel about your decision to invest in the stock in 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years.
If you think that within just 10 minutes of betting your money, you will be fretting and worried about the possibility of losing all your savings, then do yourself a favor and refrain from making the investment. If you think that in 10 months, you will hate yourself for losing all your money, then that again is a sign that you should never invest in a stock, especially one with numerous unknown underlying risks.
And finally, if you are making a huge investment that will have an adverse impact on your life over the course of 10 years, then run away from the stockbroker and never look back. You don’t want to spend the next 10 years of your life trying to make back the money you lost from the trade.
Think about the consequences of a decision. Not just the ‘brief ecstasy’ of a hit decision. Ponder on the implications and decide whether you’ll be well off or decline. In short, train your mind to start thinking beyond the immediate result because that’s usually just based on the emotions involved at the time. While we need to take risks to succeed, learning to take calculated risks instead of reckless ones is important.
5 Ultimate Things to Do to Deal With Failure
Failure is something that is inevitable yet everyone tries to dodge it. You are going to fail in many things throughout your life because the path to success always makes pit stops at failure junction. Why not embrace it and learn to use it as an advantage. When you start accepting failure, the lessons you learn from those experiences are priceless. So, let’s talk about how to deal with failure.
1. Don’t Create Excuses For Every Failure
“The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.”
– Jordan Belfort
Not everything you do will meet a successful conclusion. Many of the decisions you take in life will not only tank but can also drag you into depression. But remember to never create any excuse for such failures. Instead, accept failure as it is, learn what went wrong, and try to adapt yourself so that you can fulfil your goal the next time.
For example, if your company assigned you the task of capturing 25% of market share in a particular locality, and you failed to do so, focus on what went wrong and how you can improve. Don’t create excuses like ‘the company did not assign the required budget’ and so on.
It may be true that the company may not have given the required budget, but using that as the sole reason for your failure and overlooking personal shortcomings like improper planning and failure to lead will never turn you into a worthy successful person.
2. Stop Blaming Others For Your Mistakes
Never blame others for your mistake. Never. Period. This is especially true if you are the leader of a team, and your group has failed in any of their tasks. In such a situation, if you pin all blame on your teammates, trying to justify your standing to superiors and stakeholders, then not only will you appear an unworthy leader, but you can forget about ever achieving success.
Being successful is not just about your own talent, it is also about the support of the team around you. No one achieves anything alone. Remember that. If you aim to be at the top, you will need loyal team members who will do everything they can to make you reach the top and stay there. And that loyalty can only be earned if you treat them with due respect, and of course, recognition.
As such, if during a failure, you squarely put all blame on them, they will only consider you an opportunist, and someone who is unworthy of their loyalty. Take full responsibility for the failure and give them credit for success. Even if your team members have committed certain faults, hold yourself responsible and avoid shifting blame.
This alone will be sufficient to earn respect, and your teammates will work even harder to make sure the next task is completed successfully.
3. Avoid Being a Control Freak
Never be a control freak. When you are assigned with any specific task, split it into smaller tasks, and assign the best people for the job. Trust them to do their work properly, and guide them in case they make mistakes.
Avoid trying to control every single action assuming that only you can do the task perfectly. If you carry such an attitude, then you won’t have any good members remain on your team for too long since talented people do not like being constantly watched over and told what to do. So, give up such behaviors and learn to trust the people under you. By doing that, you will have a better chance of keeping talented people in your team for longer and achieving success.
Success is a process. It has numerous components and one of the main parts is to attain the loyalty of a professional team behind you. This team will be critical in achieving your success.
4. Stop Expecting Life to Be Fair
“If we keep telling that life is unfair but do nothing serious about it, then life will forever continue to remain unfair!”
-Mehmet Murat Ildan
Life is not fair. Don’t be naïve as to assume that when you do something right, you deserve and will receive a positive result. Unfortunately, the world does not work that way. So, give up on such silly notions.
Instead, look at any task ahead of you from multiple perspectives. Plan for all types of consequences, without being fixated on a lone positive outcome. And by doing so, you will always be ready to meet any consequences, no matter how wildly they differ from your expectations.
Think about scenarios where your planning goes wrong, and the results achieved are far from perfect. Plan on steps to undertake when such things happen, and you will be well-prepared. As they say, hope for the best, and plan for the worst.
5. Meet Problems Head-On
And finally, don’t run away from problems. Don’t avoid them as if they don’t matter. That is a sure-fire way to remain a loser all through your life. No one achieved greatness by avoiding problems. Be stoic about obstacles. Obstacles will reveal paths you wouldn’t have considered otherwise.
Great people are successful and are admired by many people as being a success because they faced all problems head-on instead of running away from it. So, if your business is tanking, then have the courage to first acknowledge that your decisions were wrong.
If you acknowledge that the business is failing, then you can think of ways to reverse the situation. But if you don’t even accept that reality, then you are guaranteed to fail. A person with such an attitude will never amount to anything. Mainly because they can’t accept the reality in front of them, and keep on avoiding the biggest obstacles.
And even if they achieve success, they will not be able to maintain it. So, develop a character that confronts all problems that come in the way of your goal, and you will have a better chance of being a successful person.
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
– Winston S. Churchill
5 Things to Focus On if You Want to be Successful
Everyone wants to be successful. Different people have different criteria for success. While some pine for fame, others prefer wealth; they’re those who want to be respected above all else, and then there are people who define success as the peace of mind and ability to be free.
However you define success, dreaming about it and reaching that pedestal are two different things. What separates them is actually just one simple thing – the willingness to change one’s behavior and thought process. You must first admit that you are where you are right now because of the choices you’ve thus far made in life.
Like Marshall Goldsmith, the famous leadership thinker put it, “What got you here, won’t get you there.” He actually wrote a whole book on that. So, if you need to achieve that lofty goal, you need to get your thoughts in place, redefine mental models and pick up your act. Success is a result of choices. So, start choosing good from now on.
People who remain stuck with negative behaviors will never be a success and are destined to only dream of it. But those who are willing to learn about and understand where they go wrong and are open to modifying them, will always be on the path to success. It’s just a matter of time for these folks. Consistency is the key to success in whatever you want to achieve.
And if you are such a person (of course you are, why else would you be reading this) who is willing to change themselves to be successful, understand the mechanics of success, whether in your career or personal life, then you have to give up the negative attitudes mentioned below.
1. Don’t Be Afraid of Your Abilities
“There are two types of people who will tell you that you cannot make a difference in this world: those who are afraid to try and those who are afraid you will succeed.”
Some people have a tendency to hold back their abilities just so that they don’t make other people feel inferior. Such an attitude will only keep you in a secondary position, never letting you get the taste of being a leader.
After all, being at the top means you have to outsmart everyone else competing for the position. When you hold yourself back, it is inevitable that you will never be ‘numero uno’. So, if you have a tendency to downplay abilities while in a team, then you should stop doing that. Use all your talents on whatever task you are assigned and come out on top.
There will obviously be people who don’t like the fact that you are number one. But you don’t have to mind them. Instead, associate with those who appreciate your effort and value you for the talents you have displayed.
2. Get Rid of Toxic People
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
– Jim Rohn
There will likely be lots of toxic people around you who aim to keep you in your current state, never allowing you to be successful. Such people might be acting this way due to a number of reasons, ranging from jealousy to their own insecurities.
Whatever be their motivations, get rid of such toxic people and cut off all relationships with them. Maintaining any sort of contact with them is not only useless, but will also be counterproductive, and will hold you back from your goal.
Instead, develop relationships with people who value your growth, appreciate your success, and give you suggestions as to how to improve yourself. Surrounding yourself with such supportive people alone will give you a huge confidence boost.
Even better, surround yourself with people the likes of which you wish to achieve, i.e. those who are better than you.
3. Avoid Being Fixated on Idealistic Standards of Perfection
“Done is better than perfect.”
There is nothing perfect in this world. And this is something that many people who naively chase an idealistic sense of perfectionism need to understand. Without grasping this concept and being happy with achieving a realistic goal, you will only waste life on a wild goose chase, remaining in the same position at all times, never improving and becoming successful.
For example, imagine that you are an artist tasked with creating four paintings for a company with a deadline of 2 months. Once the client has agreed on your basic concepts, you should move on to creating the painting one by one.
But if during the process of creating the first painting, you come up with an idea to make it even better then you might think of adapting your painting to the new idea. Don’t do it. Since the client has already approved an idea, go ahead with it and complete it. Overthinking should be avoided.
If you think of implementing the new idea, then you might come up with yet another idea that is better than everything you had till now. And this stream of ideas will never cease and you will never be able to complete the paintings in time.
This will obviously hurt your reputation as a painter and people will opt not to hire you because of your inability to meet deadlines, thereby hurting your chances of being successful. So, forget about idealistic perfection, and instead focus on meeting achievable targets.
4. Don’t Seek Validation From Others
“I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure–It is: Try to please everybody.”
– Herbert Bayard Swope
When you do something, focus on doing it well. Don’t act in order to please someone else and gain their appreciation. That is definitely not the attitude of a winner. Successful people don’t do things just because they will receive appreciation.
In turn, they do whatever they are tasked with, in the right way. And this makes them successful, eventually getting them praise from all corners. So, focus on doing the job at hand the best way possible, and you will have the mindset of a winner.
Only when there is truth in what you do, can you understand it completely, and improve upon it to achieve real success.
5. Stay Fit And Healthy
Be sure to keep yourself healthy and fit. If you pursue an unhealthy lifestyle filled with fatty foods and zero exercises, then success will be out of reach. Cut down on the junk food and start eating healthy, nutritious meals. Join a gym and get your body in shape. You don’t have to get a six-pack. You just have to be fit. And this will ensure that you have the energy to remain completely focused on your goal all day long.
Doing one good thing, however small, in a disciplined manner will lead to larger changes that will have an impact on the rest of your decisions, and eventually, change the course of your life. For more on this, read about Kaizen, the Japanese method of taking small steps to achieve large goals.
Go about everything at a steady pace, there’s no need to try to conquer the world in one day. Start tackling the problem areas one by one to achieve success with everything.
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