Making a life-changing decision is something that everyone dreads, and everyone feels if only they could get away with not making it. But, just like math in school, you have got to do it. There are many factors at play, knowing what to focus on first and how to go about it helps.
So, today I will be talking about the 4 principles I follow whenever I find myself in such predicaments. This is something that knowingly or unknowingly all of us do anyway. But, when you make a conscious effort to follow these, we feel a little more in control, and that is what we need at that moment.
1. How much importance does it hold?
By default, when we are in a tough situation, we make decisions based on our emotions. What we are feeling at the moment clouds our judgments. Because of this, we neither make an informed decision nor see the bigger picture.
Considering all your options, evaluating the effects of the decisions in the long term, taking into account your plans and situations are all important parts of decision making. When we skip all of this, there are high chances that we are setting ourselves up for failure.
While our emotional state rules the decisions at the moment, our physical, financial, social, mental states are neglected, and as a result, suffer as soon as the phase passes.
What you have to do is take a deep breath, calm yourself down, and think. Write down everything on your mind, when you do that, you get a clear picture of where you stand and what you stand to gain or lose if you go through with the decision.
Sometimes, it so happens, that to avoid distress in our near-future, we set ourselves up for an even bigger failure. And that brings me to my next point.
2. Is the win worth it?
Sure, you get your peace for the moment. You feel like you have solved the problem and you can take a breath of relief. But, is that really the case?
Most of the times temporary solutions are just that, temporary. It might get you out of difficult times, but it isn’t going to last. Problems that aren’t solved properly have a way of coming back. Hasty decisions have the same fate.
Sometimes losing right now is okay if that means a big win in the future. Risks are important if you want to get to the next level. Most big things don’t happen without taking big risks. Failures are needed to learn and grow and get better opportunities.
Always think of the ratio between the losses of failures and the benefits of success. When you make a decision that involves a lot of risks, knowing it is worth it helps.
3. What are you going to regret?
Now talking about failures and successes brings us to this point. While we need to not let emotions control our decisions, we need to use them as an important tool to learn the base of that decision.
Where exactly is that decision stemming from? What caused the ball rolling? What will happen if you fail? What do you have to lose? Can you afford it? What have you got to achieve if you succeed? Can you do without it?
The answers to these questions will give you a clear vision of what you actually want from the decision you have been toying with.
- Where exactly is that decision stemming from? Knowing what part of you wants whatever it is to happen is important. Sometimes we think we want something just because it is triggered by something completely unrelated to the topic of the decision.
Suppose you want to quit your job. There can be many reasons – you found a better opportunity, you feel underappreciated, you feel overworked, etc. But, if the reason is that your co-worker quit his job and then won a lottery, then you really might want to rethink your decision.
- What caused the ball rolling? Like I talked about the job example. If you had any of the other reasons then that would mean, you were feeling that way for some time, which in turn made you come to the conclusion that you need to quit the job. That means that the decision was at work in your brain for quite a while, meaning you had the chance to ponder over it.
If your decision is based on the lottery thing, then that means you didn’t have enough time to think of all the pros and cons and all that matters. Which means it isn’t as important to you. I am not saying that instantaneous issues aren’t worth it, they are. But, understanding why you need to make the decision and what will happen if you don’t is very important.
- What will happen if you fail? What do you have to lose? You know what you have on the line if you fail. If you don’t, you need to have a clear idea of what all you are betting on this decision. Which is why it is important to write everything down. Consider all the aspects of your life that can and will be affected by your decision.
- Can you afford it? Once you have the idea of it, think about the implications. If you fail, would you be able to deal with it? Will you be able to get back up from the fall? If the answer to that is yes, only then go ahead. If you are sure that failing can make you lose more than you can afford then it is probably not worth it.
- What have you got to achieve if you succeed? While considering the failing scenario is important, so is the succeeding scenario. No, you are not counting the chicks before the eggs hatch. You are just thinking about the meaning of having those eggs in your life. You know that you can make a profit with them. You have to focus on that. Is the success you are going after significant enough to make the change, take a risk, apply the decision? If yes, then that brings you to the last thing you need to ask yourself.
- Can you do without it? This is something that many people either don’t do, or they most probably don’t know about it. Yes, thinking about how much profit will the eggs bring or will you be okay if all the eggs break is important. But, will not having the eggs at all bother you enough, is the question that is the last nail here.
So, when you are about to take a huge decision, think about it. Think if you really need that thing if you are aiming for. If you are going to regret not going after something, then that is something you should definitely go for.
4. Write everything down
I have mentioned it one or two times in this post already. But I feel it is one of the most important things, so it needs a separate mention as well.
When you write everything down, you can see all the points together visually. That brings you a clearer idea than when everything was swimming in your mind surrounded by uncertainty. Make a list of pros and cons, of requirements, of cost, of profit, of ability, of everything you can think of. Put it aside for a day or two. Come back to it and go through it with a fresh mind and you will know what you want.
Making big, tough, life-changing decisions can be nerve-racking but taking a structured approach towards it, thinking of it is as just another puzzle to solve can help you a lot. I hope this helps you feel less overwhelmed about the changes you need to make in your life and helps guide you through it.
7 Things You Have To Give Up If You Want To Be Successful
Personal habits are a critical factor when it comes to being successful in life. No one has ever reached great heights by possessing unhealthy habits. If such a person does become rich or famous, he/she will fail to sustain their position for a long time.
This article is for someone who wants to be successful in life but is not able to do so because of some of their habits and behaviors. I am guessing you already know your life goal. Once you are aware of your unconscious behaviors, you can do something to get rid of them. And then you will be free to design a roadmap that will take you to your goal.
There is a clear distinction between the way a wealthy person lives his/her life and a poor person goes through life. The difference is not in their intelligence or knowledge, but it is in their daily habits. As Robert Kiyosaki–the author of the best selling book Rich Dad Poor Dad— famously said: “A person can be highly educated, professionally successful, and financially illiterate.” You must know how finance works if you want to be successful.
Here are some things you will have to give up if you want to be successful in life.
1. Making excuses all the time
Most people are always waiting for others to give them direction in life. They blame others if things don’t go their way. Making excuses will never lead you to the path of success. Because, instead of taking action, you are choosing to do nothing. As Hollywood actor Clint Eastwood rightly said: “What you put into life is what you get out of it.”
The number one thing that stops you from going for what you want is the negative thinking pattern that makes you feel like you are not good enough. So, why should you even try?
Taking responsibility for your life is the quickest way to stop making excuses. It means being aware of the consequences of your actions. So, next time when you make a mistake, don’t blame others, take responsibility and learn from it.
2. Looking for a magic pill
“Slow and steady wins the race.”
The magic pill solution is very prevalent in today’s society. People are very much inclined towards fast and effortless ways to achieve things. The best example of a magic pill is the 5-minutes abs commercial. The 5-minutes abs promise that you will get rock-hard abs within two weeks of using their product. This might sound quite enticing to someone who is overweight and lazy.
But the long term effects of these quick-fix solutions are negative. Furthermore, most of the quick-fix solutions available in the market don’t even work. For instance, it takes at least a couple of years of hard work in the gym to get fully fit and have the physique that you want.
Along with that, you also have to eat and sleep well. Knowing this fact, it is ridiculous to think that a 5-minute abs program will help you achieve similar results. So, stop looking for easy solutions if you want to be successful in life.
3. Fear of failure
Fear of failure stops people from trying things out. It is also the number one obstacle that keeps people from becoming financially independent. In reality, failure is supposed to expose our weakness, so that we can work on them and eliminate them eventually.
Ego is our false sense of self. We create a mental picture of our best self. Your ego protects itself by creating a delusional fear inside your head. Don’t let your ego win. It just wants you to stay the way you are. Moreover, your ego also gets threatened by any major change in your life. To be successful, you will need to evaluate your life and make systematic changes to it.
4. Seeking approval from others
We are hardwired to seek approval from anyone who might seem like they have more authority than us. This survival strategy was useful in the prehistoric period. But in today’s world, seeking approval and validation from others will stop you from being free and unrestrained.
Not being good enough is another reason people seek approval from others. Everyone who is at the top of their field once had to start from the bottom and work their way up. Instead of owning up to our shortcomings and learning to live with them, we seek validation from others.
5. Unhealthy habits that stop you from progressing
Your habits are indicators of the quality of your life. Good habits lead to success, happiness, and spiritual well being. Along with forming good habits, it is equally important to become conscious of our bad habits.
Binge eating, not getting enough exercise, not reading books, watching too much television and not sleeping enough are a few common unhealthy habits people have. If you have any of these bad habits, do not try to force yourself to do the right thing. Instead, replace the old habit with a new one.
Your brain will not comply with you when you are trying to get rid of a bad or unhealthy habit. It gets habituated to the old patterns and wants to do what it is used to doing. So, when you replace an old habit with a new one, you get the same amount of dopamine rush in your brain that the old habit provided. But this time you are doing something constructive with keeping your long term wellbeing in mind.
6. Procrastinating and waiting for the right moment
Procrastination is a habit that gets triggered by stress in your life. It’s your way of taking a break from a hectic life. But like every other habit, it can be broken too. All you have to do is be aware of what your stress responses are and how you are currently dealing with the problems in your life.
Are you drinking too much alcohol, binge-watching television shows, or overeating? Once you know what activity you are indulging in to avoid work or whatever it is that you’re running away from, you can consciously stop yourself from doing it. Over time, you will break the pattern of avoidance and begin to focus on your desired activity.
7. Toxic people in your life
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
Your close friends and other people you spend time with, determine how much success you will achieve in life. Surrounding yourself with positive and like-minded people is one of the quickest ways to succeed in life. When you spend time with people who are miserable or unhappy in life, you slowly begin to get affected by their toxicity. Toxic people are everywhere, so you need to keep your eyes and ears open to protect yourself from them.
People stay in toxic relationships because they think it’s benefiting them somehow. For instance, one might choose to work for an organization that pays well but doesn’t treat their employees properly. In this scenario, you sure become financially secure but what about your spiritual and emotional wellbeing? In a toxic relationship, there is always a major compromise. So, evaluate the people in your life and get rid of anyone who might be hurting your chances of success.
7 YouTube Channels You Must Watch If You Want More From Life
People spend hours and hours watching funny cat videos and other viral content on YouTube. And don’t get me wrong. It is important to watch relaxing pet videos online, but it’s more important to consume content that will help you grow as a person. In this post, I have chosen a few Youtube channels that made a profound impact on my life.
Categories like self-help, self-actualization, entrepreneurship, and relationships are the best when it comes to gaining tons of knowledge. Some of the channels on this list post long videos that last for more than an hour and others are short, quick tip clips. In my opinion, both are equally valuable. So, don’t miss out on any of these YouTube channels.
Following are 7 YouTube channels you must watch if you want more from life.
TED conferences are a gold mine for young people wanting to learn and grow. Their slogan “ideas worth spreading” perfectly describes what they do as an organization. TED conferences LLC was created by Richard Saul Wurman in the year 1984. More than three decades later, it is now one of the most respected and treasured platforms for budding entrepreneurs, scientists, politicians, and artists.
They post all their conferences on their YouTube channel. All content they post is totally free of cost. They post videos under categories like productivity, pseudo-science, astronomy, medical science, self-improvement, etc. Almost all of their videos have high quality and easy-to-understand content.
The major event is held once a year in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada at the Vancouver Convention Center. In this event, each speaker gives an 18-minute speech in the most entertaining and ingenious way. To give you a headstart, these are the 11 must-see TED talks of all time. I hope you learn a lot from them.
2. Lewis Howes
Lewis Howes has created one of the best YouTube channels for people looking for podcasts related to self-development and entrepreneurship. His podcast is called School of Greatness. Lewis had a troubled childhood. He was bullied, picked last in sports, and had unhealthy relationships with his peers. His misfortune inspired him to become a great professional athlete and now a successful entrepreneur.
On his YouTube channel, he interviews successful athletes, authors, artists, and business owners. Tony Robbins and Mark Manson are among the recent guests on his show. Only a few years ago, Lewis was financially broke and had to sleep on his sister’s couch. With hard work and determination, he is now one of the best mentors in the United States. He makes an impact on people’s lives through his podcasts, videos, books, online courses, and live events.
Evan Carmichael is a Canadian entrepreneur who created and sold a biotech software company at the tender age of 19. A couple of years later, he became a venture capitalist, helping people raise millions of dollars and making their dreams come true.
His entrepreneurial journey began when he was a kid. He sold art and baseball cards and held garage sales. But he took his first big leap when he was in university. He and his two friends built a biotech software company which went on to become very successful. Since then, Evan has been an entrepreneur and is now helping young people learn about it.
With over 1.8 million subscribers, Evan’s YouTube channel is one of the most popular in the entrepreneurship category. Check out his channel to learn more about his outlook on business and life.
Joe Rogan, the host, and creator of PowerfulJRE is also a successful stand-up comedian, mixed martial arts(MMA) color commentator, and a businessman. PowerfulJRE is the name of his YouTube channel. It has been the number one podcast on the internet for many years. Renowned personalities like Elon Musk and Neil Degrasse Tyson have been featured on his show.
The best thing about the Joe Rogan podcast is its format. It’s very simple and authentic. His guests share their stories and experiences with total spontaneity and honesty. For a listener, these stories can be inspirational and can trigger them to do great things in life. Joe is also a fitness and self-improvement junky. His main message to listeners is to do what they love and live a life full of adventure.
5. Tim Ferriss
Tim Ferriss is the author of best-selling book 4-Hour Workweek, a self-help and time management book. He is also known as a life hacker as he won the 165 lb weight class at the 1999 USAWKF national Sanshou (Chinese kickboxing). He won the competition by tactically pushing the opponent fighter out of the ring. His strategy was so unexpected that the opponents had no answer to it. He also dehydrated himself before the weigh-in and rehydrated just before the match to gain an unfair advantage over the fighters.
Tim specializes in long-form content. On his YouTube channel, he posts podcast and quick tip videos. The podcasts last between 60-90 minutes. From start-ups to exotic teas, Tim talks on topics that he is passionate about.
6. Khan Academy
Khan Academy is a non-profit organization founded by Salman Khan in 2008. It is California-based and was created with the sole purpose of educating and training people across the world. On its website, you will find thousands of lectures and tutorials in almost all categories.
Khan Academy also has a YouTube channel where they post similar content. Its math courses are very popular among school kids. However, there has been some criticism of its general science and computer science sections. Some people reportedly find them difficult to understand and follow.
The Khan Academy YouTube channel has over 4.8 million subscribers. So, don’t miss out on the original and groundbreaking information Khan Academy has to provide.
7. Tony Robbins
Tony Robbins is the author of the bestselling self-help book “Awaken The Giant Within”. He is also a world-renowned motivational speaker and business coach. Tony started his coaching career in his early 20s. Working along with Jim Rohn, he learned the ropes of the self-help industry.
On his YouTube channel, he posts motivational speeches and short clips of him changing people’s lives. In one instance, he cured a young man’s stuttering problem within seven minutes. The man couldn’t speak correctly for 30 years, and here he was, talking as if he never stuttered in his life. Tony knows how to inspire and motivate people. From time to time, everyone needs motivation. Subscribe to his channel to learn more about Tony’s life.
I hope you liked this list of Youtube channels that can potentially change your life. Some of these channels are so good that it is difficult to miss even a single video they post. But you can cherry-pick videos from other channels. For instance, I don’t listen to every podcast Tim Ferriss or Joe Rogan posts. I listen only when I can relate to the topic.
7 Qualities that Make You a Winner
Everyone wants to be a winner but does everyone have what needs to be one. We might not possess a lot of things from the time we cry for the first time, but with time we learn through teachings and experiences. Some skills are worth having just to survive, and some are needed to succeed.
Being a winner comes from within. The more you work on yourself, the more you will learn how to use yourself in the most efficient manner. To be a winner, you need a winner mindset, which doesn’t come from doubting yourself. Here are 7 qualities you need to be a winner in your life and business.
This is probably one of the most underrated and difficult quality to posses because it is not a skill you can have from birth. You might be raised with discipline, but self-discipline is something winners acquire through hard work and application.
It is not easy to change long acquired hurting habits, neither is it easy to ignore the constant distraction life keeps on throwing at you, but winners conquer this, way before actually becoming successful at their craft.
2. Not afraid to fail
Fear of failing is a common phenomenon; even the perennial winners go through this. What do they do differently you ask? Well, they fail. Failing early can be great for your life and career; it teaches you what not to do and how to handle difficult situations and when you need to take up responsibility.
People who have got it wrong many times and persist possibly know a lot more than people who had natural talents. Former United States Attorney General, Robert F. Kennedy summed it up nicely by saying, “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” Fear, in general, makes us doubt ourselves, but as Jack Canfield righty said, “Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”
“Persist, persist, and persist” is what we are told by the greats of every field. It is a given really; every man on the quest for success knows that he needs to persist in order to get what he wants. What stops us then? What makes us not follow this, simple yet difficult to execute, strategy?
Well, you can blame it on the impatience and restlessness of the human mind. Keeping on hoping for different things if something doesn’t work out and giving up when we see even a slight chance of our hard work going to waste comes naturally to most of us. Fighting this urge is necessary to achieve big and it is certainly not easy. Winners master to persist. It is a cliche that we can only see the glitters and confetti when someone has achieved great heights but rarely can anyone fathom the hard work put in to get there.
4. Being aware of your strengths and weaknesses
Everyone has weaknesses, and the sooner you identify and acknowledge them, the better. What defines a winner is their unmatched mental strength to know what they can do better than most people and where they lack behind. They plan their battles knowing about themselves; they maximize their strengths and minimize the impact that their weaknesses have on their craft.
Winners keep on improving themselves and believe every day is a learning process and every person they meet can be a teacher. Japanese author Susaku Endo puts it into perspective by saying, “Every weakness contains within itself a strength.”
6. Belief in your dreams
As the old saying goes, “You need to believe in your own dreams for others to start believing.” This is a fundamental mindset of an achiever. When no one believes in you, everyone writes you off; it’s you who has to believe in your own potential. No one can know you better than yourself.
In a lot of competitive sports when there is a clear underdog, experts usually say that matches are won and lost in the head and not on the field. Some extract pleasure out of having themselves against the wall and some drop their weapons. If you give your best even while knowing there are better chances of the opposition winning you have a slim chance of getting over the line, although, if you give up in your mind, there are no chances of you winning.
7. A never-say-die attitude
Failure is a part of life, it is a cliche, but how someone copes with it defines how they move ahead in life. Failure can be heartbreaking and can make you give up your dreams, but that is where most people leave the race.
Winners pull themselves through the hard times and learn from their mistakes, getting stronger with every mistake. A mistake is nothing but one way that doesn’t work, and if you know that well you won’t make that mistake over again. Winners never give up, their calmness under pressure and temperament ride them through the rough patches. How you deal with it is important.
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