fbpx
Connect with us

Motivation

Top 6 Lies That Are Holding You Back

Published

on

Top 6 Lies That Are Holding You Back

Many people have certain beliefs or ‘lies’ that hold them back. These lies are so deep-rooted in their psyche that they restrict them from utilizing their full potential, and deny them new experiences and opportunities for personal growth. We will look at six such lies that tend to hold people back.

1. I Can’t Do It

The biggest lie that limits most people in their life includes just four words – “I Can’t Do It”. This belief alone will shatter anyone’s faith and keep them restricted to a basic lifestyle when they could have achieved much more. This belief exists mostly because of two reasons – either you were fed this belief from a young age or you never developed enough confidence.

Some parents tend to be so overprotective of their children that they actively discourage the kids from trying out certain things. This can slowly creep into the child’s psyche forming the idea that they cannot do certain things.

Top 6 Lies That Are Holding You Back

For example, if a parent always scolds their child when they try to do some physical activity like jumping off the stairs, climbing on the tree, etc.; then inevitably the child will absorb such restrictions as suggestions. And as the child grows, not only will they give up on such physical activities like sports, but may also become averse to it.  Simply thinking that they won’t be able to do it would lead them to make such decisions. 

If you suffer from this belief, then you must understand that this lack of confidence that ‘I can’t do it’ is what limits your life. The truth of the matter is that until you try out something, you will never know whether you are good at it. As such, holding back from new activities is kind of illogical.

2. People Will Not Like Me If I Do Something Like That

Top 6 Lies That Are Holding You Back

The next biggest belief that can hold someone back is the idea that “people will not like it if I do something like that.” This fear that other people will see your actions with disapproving eyes may have some truth. However, you have to understand that you don’t exist to live your life as per other people’s likes and dislikes.

Plus, there is no guarantee that people might end up disliking you just because you tried out something they are not fond of. Do what you like to do, and maybe people will start to change their opinions and also start liking what you do. 

So, take some initiative, find out what your interests are, and try to involve yourself in them without a care of what others might think. At the very least, they will respect you for doing what you believe in and what you like.

3. If I Fail At Something, It Means I’m Not Good At It

Top 6 Lies That Are Holding You Back

If you fail at something, it does not mean that you are not good at it. Instead, it simply means that you just failed at that particular thing. That’s it. If people gave up on their dreams the first time they failed at anything new, then we would still be living in caves.

You only fail when you give up trying. As long as you keep trying, use all the past failures to understand why you failed and make sure never to repeat the errors, you are succeeding. Eventually, you will be able to do what you want. It may take fifty, a hundred, or two hundred attempts but if you stick to your goal with absolute dedication, you have one hundred percent chance of succeeding at it. So, forget this lie about being a failure and give everything you have to the task.

4. It May Be Okay For Them, But Not For Me

Some people also think that there are some things that other people can do but they themselves should not attempt. This is also a big lie that cripples their lives. Such a belief normally stems from harboring a kind of inferiority complex in which a person holds themselves ‘lesser’ than others.

For example, imagine that someone is raised in a very restrictive environment and is rather shy. When such a person starts working together with outgoing extroverts, there is a good chance that they might see others as ‘better’ than themselves. As such, if a situation came where the company was looking for an employee to represent them in an overseas event, then the person might hold themselves back allowing others to take up that opportunity.

5. I’m Not Attractive Enough to Be Loved or Accepted

Top 6 Lies That Are Holding You Back

Every human being wants to be loved. But unfortunately, some people think that they are not good looking enough to be loved or even accepted by others. This is a pretty nasty lie that can keep a person secluded all their lives. It is important to understand and accept that the character of a person matters more than the looks. 

If you have a pleasant personality, people will be happy to be your friends. And, if you know how to crack jokes and make people laugh, then looks literally become irrelevant. So, do not reduce yourself to your physical appearance alone. Furthermore, if any such negative belief has made you an introvert, then break through those feelings. Just be comfortable with yourself and start interacting with people. You will soon see that your attitude alone can carry you far ahead in life.

6. Since I Don’t Know How to Do It, I Should Probably Not Try Doing It

Top 6 Lies That Are Holding You Back

Do you think humankind would have progressed if every single person was averse to trying out new things just because they did not know how to do it? No! 

So, why do you hold yourself back from trying out new things even though you might not know anything about it? Get out of your comfort zone and try out new things and experiences. Find someone who might know the task you don’t know anything about and learn from their experiences. Then, start doing the task yourself. As long as you keep such a lie away from your life, your mind will always be ready to absorb everything the world has to offer.

Final Thoughts

One main thing that can fight all these lies is self-confidence. Confidence in yourself is the key to doing what you want to do without caring about the world or your own limitations. It gives you the ability to put yourself out there and chase your dreams. So, what you need to fight these lies is develop self-confidence and you will have the fuel needed to propel yourself forward.

Motivation

Why Most People Give Up Just Before They See Results

Published

on

By

give up

When I was six years old, I remember giving up half-way on a math problem. I don’t recall who it was, probably a grade-school teacher who then told me a story of a man who needed to swim across a lake. The lake was 2 miles. He swam halfway and then got really tired and decided it wasn’t worth the effort. He turned around and swam back. 

I was aghast. “But he swam 2 miles either way! He could’ve just continued swimming forward and would’ve reached with the same effort!” It seemed like a pointless exercise and didn’t teach me much about giving up. When I think about it now, it’s not so surprising. We always tend to overestimate the journey ahead. 

We want tangible results

The moment we start a new project or skill, we expect results to follow soon. Most people don’t have an idea of what kind of results they want: just that it should be noticeable and experienced. 

If you recently started learning a new language, your idea of seeing results might be to speak fluently. That’s an undefined goal, and it’s difficult to say when that could happen. It could be a few months or a couple of years. But you’ll likely get frustrated before that happens. You’ll wonder why you’re working so hard but not seeing the results you want.

On the other hand, if your idea of seeing results would be to identify all alphabets correctly and pronounce two-syllable words, that’s a more realistic and well-defined result,, and you could accomplish it in six weeks with regular classes. 

Ensuring that your idea of ‘results’ is well-defined can help you identify the progress you’re making, however slow or little it is. 

The Plateau of Latent Potential 

A theory by James Clear (author of Atomic Habits) explains why progress is never linear. You’re making progress every single day, but you don’t always see these results. 

Just because you aren’t seeing results doesn’t mean they aren’t there. They are being stored in your potential. James Clear likens it to heating an ice cube from twenty-five to thirty-one degrees. An ice cube melts at thirty two degrees, but just because the visible result happens between thirty one and thirty two, doesn’t mean the heating that happened before isn’t just as important. 

This is especially true for fitness. Those who make drastic lifestyle changes often notice visible physical differences or increase in strength only weeks after committing to exercise. In those first few weeks where the body is making improvements too minute to be noticed, people often get discouraged, thinking that it’s not working.

Those that do stick at it, however, suddenly show results! To the people around them, it seems like an overnight success. Everyone acknowledges your results, only noticing your ‘thirty one to thirty two degrees’ without knowing the effort you’ve put in. 

Remember that the ‘Valley of Disappointment’, as James Clear calls it, is for a very short duration before you see the progress that you’ve been working so hard to get. We often have arbitrary expectations from ourselves: if we’ve been working hard we ‘should’ be seeing some kind of improvement! 

Having faith in yourself and re-evaluating your motives for getting the results you want can help fuel your motivation as you plow through the first few weeks (or months!). Before you decide something isn’t your cup of tea, make sure you’ve given yourself a fair chance. You’ve put in a lot of effort already. Your ‘thirty two degrees’ might be closer than you think.

“When nothing seems to help, I go and look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not the blow that did it — but all that had gone before.” Jacob Ruiz

Continue Reading

Motivation

Why Some People are More Motivated than Others

Published

on

By

An Experiment

In 1998, Psychologists Claudia M. Mueller and Carol S. Dweck from Columbia University conducted a study on more than 400 students from the fifth grade. 

They made two groups of children and gave them a series of puzzles to solve. In the beginning, they gave them easy puzzles where almost all the children performed well. They then congratulated the children in group A, telling them that they performed well because they were smart and gifted

They also congratulated the children in group B, but this time told them that the reason for their good performance was that they put in a lot of effort and hard work. 

After telling the children this, they gave them another series of tests: puzzles that were more difficult than the first time. 

What they noticed was that the children in Group A got discouraged easily. After trying for some time, they gave up solving the puzzles. When asked about their experience, they said they didn’t enjoy solving the puzzles much.

The children in Group B spent more time trying to solve these difficult puzzles. These children also said that they had fun doing the exercise! They had higher levels of motivation and self-satisfaction even when faced with a challenge.  

Since the puzzles were difficult this time, the children in both groups were told the truth that they failed in some of the puzzles and then asked why. 

The children in Group A thought that the reason for their failure was that they just weren’t smart enough. They felt disheartened and were found to be performance-oriented. A few failures and set-backs were enough to make them question their abilities and lose hope. 

On the other hand, the children in Group B felt the reason for their failure was that they didn’t try hard enough. They were determined to try again and use a different approach or method to solve the puzzles. These children were process-oriented and didn’t seem to care too much about whether they succeeded or failed, and gave more value to the entire learning experience. 

What We Can Learn from It

The children in Group A had such low levels of motivation and self-belief because they thought they couldn’t control the situation. They thought they succeeded in the first puzzle because of being born with brains, but also failed in the second puzzle due to those brains not being good enough. 

Telling someone that they’re talented or gifted may sound like a compliment, but it is really saying that the person was just born with it, instead of giving them credit for their efforts! 

Since the Group A kids weren’t given true credit in the first experiment, they thought they had no control over their intelligence. Research also indicates that when children are constantly told that they’re gifted, they’re more concerned with justifying that label: “Am I really gifted and as smart as they say I am? If it’s true, why did I fail the test? Maybe I’m not smart.” They begin to doubt themselves. 

How does this apply to adults?

When we stop giving ourselves real credit for our achievements, it backfires and makes us much less motivated to accomplish more things in the future.

If you did really well on a presentation last week and told yourself, “I really did get lucky! It was an easy topic.”, then the moment you’re struggling with the next presentation, you’ll think that the only thing that’s changed is that this time your luck has run out! 

On the other hand, if you recognized your own efforts: “I stayed up all night last night and worked really hard on this presentation. I’m so glad I did well.” Then next time you’re struggling, you’re going to remind yourself that hard work pays off well (just like it did last week!). 

This is why the levels of motivation are higher in people who take credit for both their successes and their failures. Thinking that you succeeded because of forces beyond your control will give you a handy excuse for whenever failure comes around. 

Just like the kids in Group A and Group B, successes and failures happen to all of us. We have easy challenges and then more tricky ones. The point is not how well you perform, but how much you enjoy a challenge, and how motivated you remain throughout the learning process

So next time you succeed: take credit. And when you fail, do the same thing! You’ll be more motivated to keep trying, and have fun doing it.

Continue Reading

Motivation

Why it is Hard to Stay Motivated

Published

on

By

motivation

Change is the only constant.

How many times have we heard this in our lives? 

Do you realize this is not merely a saying but an experience every individual goes through multiple times during his entire life?

None of us know what the next second has in store for us. Right now you may be elated and you might find yourself in complete folds the next hour.

Relatable?

Well, these are the times when you need to chomp in a well-prepared meal.

No no, not your regular food, this meal has special ingredients which when cooked together, give you the dish called ‘motivation’.

It is extremely important to sense when our morale starts losing for if not paid attention to, it can turn into a habit and you might find yourself quite comfortable.

To be able to pull yourself out of lethargy, an understanding of what motivation actually is should be taken into consideration.

When defined, motivation is the power that activates the engine of success and moves you to act. It is not some external drive but comes from within and is very much related to your ambitions and desires in life.

Keep reminding yourself that this is a recurring process, you’ll have to be your own source of encouragement every day, sometimes even more than once a day.

Easier said than done right?

 I am aware.

However, a strong and logical mind is sure to overrule your emotions. After all, you are not your mind but much beyond that.

To be content and motive-driven, you need to have clarity. Like I mentioned above, a strong mind has control over your emotions and will help you keep track of your visions and goals. It is usually easy to get distracted by external factors but if you are sure enough of what you want ahead, nothing can come in your way.

Let’s see some things that you could do when you feel like there’s not much productivity flowing out :

  • The foremost thing is to stop and take deep breaths. A calm and relaxed mind is capable of viewing different point of views of the same situation. A moment of panic is sure to push you away and impact your ability to work.
  • After you find yourself quiet, drink two sips of water to give fuel to the brain.
  • Now, look closely at what you have in hand. An assignment to finish before the deadline? An examination to prepare for, due the day after? A project you just stepped into? Well, the list obviously is endless.
  • Having the work outline made, sit and divide it into smaller tasks, hence now you have shorter goals which are comparatively easier to achieve.
  • When a 4-5 hour project is broken down into sets of half an hour each, after the completion of every 0.5 hours there will be a sense of contentment and pride. The satisfaction thus attained will be far greater than anything else.

Now, this was just a little glimpse of what can be done or something that I usually adhere to. However, is this the only standard procedure? 

No.

Every individual is different and has his own psychological being. For some, a pep-talk would do wonders while for others just a 10-15 minute alone time is enough to get back to normal.

Therefore, don’t try to follow any steps mechanically. See various things, read about various things, and in the end, come up with different permutations and combinations that suit the best for you.

Enough of how to get motivated and why to get motivated. Let’s step into the deeper issue – ‘Not being able to work and to not be productive does not mean I am any less serious about my career. I am not making excuses just so that I can get off of responsibilities easily. Why does no one believe when I say this?’

The thoughts that we ponder over every time we are hit by a wave of disinterest. The problem is not anybody not believing you, the setback is of how society isn’t accepting of low workload times.

The pressure of watching every other person excel and hear stories of how people work 36 hours a day, has made this the notion of how one should approach his professional background.

The fear of not being able to report in time and the stress of being a few steps behind others always is daunting our subconsciousness. It’s high time we as individuals accept that this is what it is and it’s completely okay to be not okay somedays.

Embracing your own shortcomings will give you the courage to stand by yourself and fall back into action with double the motivation and power.

You know that these aren’t mere excuses, you know your mindset at that point in time and you know that you will give anything and everything to not be in this position and this is all that matters.

A sense of belief and confidence will automatically provide a boost and you’ll see yourself springing into ideas and creative techniques to give shape to the same project.

Hence, two things are the highlight of your gloomy days – One, that targets smaller goals to reach the bigger goal in less time and with less stress. Two, to accept and face the fact that you will have no willpower one day and it’s okay but at the same time knowing that you have to get back on your feet the next day.

Continue Reading

Popular